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Do you make an effort to be polite?

Medusa said:
the more you become polite the more they will get nastier,that is my experience .so I learnt how to be impolite when they want it!
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I think it depends on when you become polite. I certainly have that as well. I had a gentlemen flip his lid on me when I become polite after he had already dog cussed me because he was found negligent in a property damage case I had. I politely informed him that he could absolutely get a lawyer and I would be happy to speak with them. I just need their letter of representation. :)

I pushed his buttons after he blew up.


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blackjack50 said:
I think it depends on when you become polite. I certainly have that as well. I had a gentlemen flip his lid on me when I become polite after he had already dog cussed me because he was found negligent in a property damage case I had. I politely informed him that he could absolutely get a lawyer and I would be happy to speak with them. I just need their letter of representation. :)

I pushed his buttons after he blew up.


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:lol:
 
One tip to maintain your cool and stay polite: determine your objective of the conversation (if you have an issue). Then ask yourself and the other person if they have the ability to resolve your issue. It saves a lot of headaches.


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blackjack50 said:
One tip to maintain your cool and stay polite: determine your objective of the conversation (if you have an issue). Then ask yourself and the other person if they have the ability to resolve your issue. It saves a lot of headaches.


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:lol:
people are usually not worth this effort ,if they want it be as nasty as it gets
 
Medusa said:
:lol:
people are usually not worth this effort ,if they want it be as nasty as it gets
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Sure they are. Even if we want to ignore it being the "right thing," and look at it from the perspective of beneficial to me? Being polite often gets you MUCH farther. People are more likely to resist an asshole. :)


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jet57 said:
Well, you never demonstrate that here...

Southern people are more often than not, because of culture, very polite to people: "yes sir, "no mam" are the most popular words in the south. I size up every situation and enter with a polite tone and carry on as I am treated.
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Was that a necessary comment?

Ps

I'm an asshole. I never said otherwise. I'm polite. In my definition...an asshole is someone who is uwilling or too stubborn to take guff. And sometimes that obstinacy can be a hinderance.


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blackjack50 said:
Sure they are. Even if we want to ignore it being the "right thing," and look at it from the perspective of beneficial to me? Being polite often gets you MUCH farther. People are more likely to resist an asshole. :)


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:mrgreen:eek:k
 
blackjack50 said:
Maybe it is my "southern hospitality" or maybe it is unique to me? But I make an effort to be polite to people. Even if the subject is something upsetting to me (like collecting money from me, someone backing into my vehicle, etc). Why? Because it makes sense. And in some instances, the other person either has 0 control...or becoming upset is only going to cause MORE problems.

I have been noticing how more and more...I'm crossing people who just want to become hostile and impolite. (I'm just noticing it more). It doesn't matter if I am as sweet as can be, they just immediately go to the asshole level because they don't like what they hear/see/whatever. And they will go to that level even if it spites themselves.

So with that said: do you make an effort? Or do you think this is a waste of time? Be honest.


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I am very polite in the real world, and I go too far out of my way for people.................according to my good wife.

On here at DP, I can be as polite as the person that I am dealing with and love humor or snark, even if it's directed at me......I don't care.

Or, I can be about as accommodating as a prison shower.
 
blackjack50 said:
Was that a necessary comment?

Ps

I'm an asshole. I never said otherwise. I'm polite. In my definition...an asshole is someone who is uwilling or too stubborn to take guff. And sometimes that obstinacy can be a hinderance.


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Sure it was necessary. It contradicts your statement that you're polite; and here is the definition of an asshole:
an irritating or contemptible person
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Being polite is being open to other people and putting their comfort ahead of yours.
 
blackjack50 said:
Maybe it is my "southern hospitality" or maybe it is unique to me? But I make an effort to be polite to people. Even if the subject is something upsetting to me (like collecting money from me, someone backing into my vehicle, etc). Why? Because it makes sense. And in some instances, the other person either has 0 control...or becoming upset is only going to cause MORE problems.

I have been noticing how more and more...I'm crossing people who just want to become hostile and impolite. (I'm just noticing it more). It doesn't matter if I am as sweet as can be, they just immediately go to the asshole level because they don't like what they hear/see/whatever. And they will go to that level even if it spites themselves.

So with that said: do you make an effort? Or do you think this is a waste of time? Be honest.


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I'm sure it might surprise some posters on here but, like many of my generation I was raised to be polite and I try to be so as much as I can in daily life. You can be polite and still be assertive and make your point, it is just a matter of having some basic control. That said, I have found that my tolerance levels for the outright ignorant, contrarian and mendacious has reduced such that I will fight fire with fire if I need to; It irks me that in this modern world it is often seen as a good trait to 'act' in very inconsiderate ways to people that you have some authority over, we seem to have bred a sizeable population of career sociopaths whose ambitions have elevated them to roles in life that they cannot perform in any reasonable way.

Whether I am right or not I don't know but, I perceive that this change has come about because people of all political sides feel that they are entitled to take what they like from society without any consideration for society. My opinion only but, I think that we need to very quickly roll back this cult.
 
blackjack50 said:
Yep. People don't like to hear that they are at fault per the police, insurance, facts, and predicated on the damages to the property as well...
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We have become adversarial in our daily lives such that everyone believes that blame has to be apportioned for every little incident that happens so that a box can be ticked.
 
No. I don't like to bull**** people with niceties or fake impressions, so I would rather be real and act in the way that is a true representation of me.
 
Henrin said:
No. I don't like to bull**** people with niceties or fake impressions, so I would rather be real and act in the way that is a true representation of me.
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to everyone ?
 
I am more so as I get older, which I never expected. Especially now that I am retired and while busy kinda on my writing and messing around here and there including DP the truth is that 75% of my waking hours it is me a dog and two cats. When I go out seeing people is nice, I sorta have an inclination towards being nice. Which I find is often reciprocated, which I never got much of when I was younger cause I tended to not interact much with people and be busy and too often angry. But you know this is not all by accident because maybe 15 years ago I came on to Wayne Dyers "The power of Intention" on PBS and then started to read a much of his stuff but I really thought there might be something to the idea that we have some control over how people react to us to such a degree that we could promote honesty and good cheer showing up into our days. So I decided to try it out here and there. Ya I think he over sold it some or maybe a bunch but there is something to it for sure. It works. I like that, I like all the beauty I can find in a day. I like it too when the wall comes down a little and I get to see some of who people are. I have always been a people watcher.
 
None of your ****ing business you rat bastard, scumbag.

;)
 
Why does it seem that one has to make an effort to be polite?? It's not an effort, it's habit.
 
ocean515 said:
I believe it is the nature of the society that has been created today, and the methods people use to communicate, that has led to your observation.

As people have resorted to non-face to face communication, the norms of respect and restraint have been lifted. People write things they would never say to someone face to face. Eventually, this carries over to such face to face interaction, as such attitudes become more the norm.

Add in the constant messaging from various sources encouraging and promoting hate and bigotry against those who simply disagree with certain ideas or actions, and the tone is inevitable.
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As Blackjack noted, you made an excellent point.

Years ago, when one was upset say with a family member, many wrote a letter to the person. In the time between writing the letter, addressing it and walking to mail it, time was provided for the person to review the situation, why they were upset and what they had written that would in all probability inflame the situation.

Today, it is done at a click of a button, people do not take the time to evaluate.
Kerist, just look at how people get upset about being dropped as a friend on FB.
 
I do. But I don't let it get in the way of being real.
 
Being polite makes the day go smoother.
 
blackjack50 said:
Maybe it is my "southern hospitality" or maybe it is unique to me? But I make an effort to be polite to people. Even if the subject is something upsetting to me (like collecting money from me, someone backing into my vehicle, etc). Why? Because it makes sense. And in some instances, the other person either has 0 control...or becoming upset is only going to cause MORE problems.

I have been noticing how more and more...I'm crossing people who just want to become hostile and impolite. (I'm just noticing it more). It doesn't matter if I am as sweet as can be, they just immediately go to the asshole level because they don't like what they hear/see/whatever. And they will go to that level even if it spites themselves.

So with that said: do you make an effort? Or do you think this is a waste of time? Be honest.


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Click to expand...

I don't make a conscious effort. Being as old as I am, I really don't care what people think of me one way or the other. But being polite I think has been ingrained in me since I was a very young tyke. But it is of a natural thing then actually putting on a polite face. But there are times the crusty old fart in me comes out.
 
I am polite...in everyday life most people I encounter are not only polite but thoughtful and kind

on the internet there are lots of people who act like dicks...pride themselves on being dicks and are rude and accusatory

sometimes they bring out the worst in me, then I have to be honest with myself and attempt a better approach

I admire people on the net who can be attacked and never lose their cool...I see them as superior human beings who make the world a better place...I'm not quite there yet, but I try
 
JANFU said:
As Blackjack noted, you made an excellent point.

Years ago, when one was upset say with a family member, many wrote a letter to the person. In the time between writing the letter, addressing it and walking to mail it, time was provided for the person to review the situation, why they were upset and what they had written that would in all probability inflame the situation.

Today, it is done at a click of a button, people do not take the time to evaluate.
Kerist, just look at how people get upset about being dropped as a friend on FB.
Click to expand...

It's my guess these digital methods of communication eventually create a norm that can't help but carry over to face to face interaction. If one become accustomed to meeting a difference of opinion with "you're a moron if you believe that", it's quite likely that will be the response when a keyboard no longer separates the individuals.

Your observation regarding Facebook is exactly on point. One reason I don't use it, or any other similar medium. It's alarming to me that people, especially young people, invest so much emotion into their on-line "selves" they are driven to suicide when anonymous people turn on them.

I would imagine over time new norms will evolved that either tone down the rhetoric, or place it in it's proper perspective so that being called a moron doesn't garner the type of reaction it currently does in many people.
 
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