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Ethical "Money" Question

blackjack50

blackjack50

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So today is my birthday and I got some money from family. I was told to spend it on myself (computer or a gaming system or a gun). Well I'm also looking for a new apartment for me and my girlfriend. So here is the "ethics question."

Is it ethical to spend that money on my apartment instead of what I was told to spend it on? I don't think it is. My reasoning is that if someone gives you money for you to buy XYZ with...you can't spend it on ABC ethically. If they wanted you to buy whatever with...they would tell you to do that. Anyways. What do you think?
 
Question: will they stop giving gifts if you do what you want?

With that answer, spend it on what you want and be happy.
 
stonewall50 said:
So today is my birthday and I got some money from family. I was told to spend it on myself (computer or a gaming system or a gun). Well I'm also looking for a new apartment for me and my girlfriend. So here is the "ethics question."

Is it ethical to spend that money on my apartment instead of what I was told to spend it on? I don't think it is. My reasoning is that if someone gives you money for you to buy XYZ with...you can't spend it on ABC ethically. If they wanted you to buy whatever with...they would tell you to do that. Anyways. What do you think?
Click to expand...

Isn't that spending it on you? I would think so... I mean, you want a new place, and you want it with your girlfriend, right?

I think the idea that you're only "spending money on you" if you get something frivolous is kind of silly. If you'd be happier spending it on something that's both useful AND desired, then do that.

I'm sort of the same way, in that what I tend to come up with when I'm "spending on myself" is a little different than how it seems most people define it.

At any rate, I question whether this is an ethical concern anyway, and I don't like the idea of gifts with strings attached. Not that I'm saying they're trying to enforce strings (I can't tell from your OP whether they are, or whether this is your own concern), but if someone gifts you something, it's yours to do with what you like.

It's not like they said, "We need a new tire, here's money." They said, "Here's a present, get yourself something nice." Well, you are. And besides, it's a gift. Hell, if you wanted to spend it on clearing some debt, and that would legitimately make you happier by lowering your stress and anxiety, I would say you "got yourself something nice." I'd take better mental health over more unnecessary crap in a closet somewhere any day of the week.

I think you're overthinking it. :shrug:
 
stonewall50 said:
So today is my birthday and I got some money from family. I was told to spend it on myself (computer or a gaming system or a gun). Well I'm also looking for a new apartment for me and my girlfriend. So here is the "ethics question."

Is it ethical to spend that money on my apartment instead of what I was told to spend it on? I don't think it is. My reasoning is that if someone gives you money for you to buy XYZ with...you can't spend it on ABC ethically. If they wanted you to buy whatever with...they would tell you to do that. Anyways. What do you think?
Click to expand...

If you can't decide, give it to. ...
...nope, not the Red Cross.

To me. ;)
 
SmokeAndMirrors said:
Isn't that spending it on you? I would think so... I mean, you want a new place, and you want it with your girlfriend, right?

I think the idea that you're only "spending money on you" if you get something frivolous is kind of silly. If you'd be happier spending it on something that's both useful AND desired, then do that.

I'm sort of the same way, in that what I tend to come up with when I'm "spending on myself" is a little different than how it seems most people define it.

At any rate, I question whether this is an ethical concern anyway, and I don't like the idea of gifts with strings attached. Not that I'm saying they're trying to enforce strings (I can't tell from your OP whether they are, or whether this is your own concern), but if someone gifts you something, it's yours to do with what you like.

It's not like they said, "We need a new tire, here's money." They said, "Here's a present, get yourself something nice." Well, you are. And besides, it's a gift. Hell, if you wanted to spend it on clearing some debt, and that would legitimately make you happier by lowering your stress and anxiety, I would say you "got yourself something nice." I'd take better mental health over more unnecessary crap in a closet somewhere any day of the week.

I think you're overthinking it. :shrug:
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Well the way I look at it is this, and it is kind of how I envisioned the question:

Say you want an expensive pair of shoes. You would NEVER spend your money on them because you just don't have the money for them. You would do the sensible thing instead. Every time. But then say a relative or friend KNOWS that...and they decide they want you to get those shoes. Or maybe they don't know the exact pair, but they know you do. So they say "buy those shoes you want with this."

I would say it would be unethical to spend it on the "sensible thing" because that wasn't what they wanted you to do. They didn't want to pay your rent. They wanted you to have that thing you have wanted for a long time that you would never get yourself.
 
If that's your current worst ethical dilemma, you have no problems. :D
 
stonewall50 said:
Well the way I look at it is this, and it is kind of how I envisioned the question:

Say you want an expensive pair of shoes. You would NEVER spend your money on them because you just don't have the money for them. You would do the sensible thing instead. Every time. But then say a relative or friend KNOWS that...and they decide they want you to get those shoes. Or maybe they don't know the exact pair, but they know you do. So they say "buy those shoes you want with this."

I would say it would be unethical to spend it on the "sensible thing" because that wasn't what they wanted you to do. They didn't want to pay your rent. They wanted you to have that thing you have wanted for a long time that you would never get yourself.
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Then why didn't they just buy it for you in the first place? :shrug:

I dunno, that seems like a way to wind up in a whole bunch of manipulative nonsense that didn't need to be there.

As far as I'm concerned, when you give someone straight-up money, you relinquish control of what is done with it after that point, regardless of what you'd "prefer" they do with it. If it was that big of a deal, you could have just bought the actual thing rather than given them money.
 
stonewall50 said:
So today is my birthday and I got some money from family. I was told to spend it on myself (computer or a gaming system or a gun). Well I'm also looking for a new apartment for me and my girlfriend. So here is the "ethics question."

Is it ethical to spend that money on my apartment instead of what I was told to spend it on? I don't think it is. My reasoning is that if someone gives you money for you to buy XYZ with...you can't spend it on ABC ethically. If they wanted you to buy whatever with...they would tell you to do that. Anyways. What do you think?
Click to expand...

Do you and your current girlfriend currently live together now?
 
stonewall50 said:
Well the way I look at it is this, and it is kind of how I envisioned the question:

Say you want an expensive pair of shoes. You would NEVER spend your money on them because you just don't have the money for them. You would do the sensible thing instead. Every time. But then say a relative or friend KNOWS that...and they decide they want you to get those shoes. Or maybe they don't know the exact pair, but they know you do. So they say "buy those shoes you want with this."

I would say it would be unethical to spend it on the "sensible thing" because that wasn't what they wanted you to do. They didn't want to pay your rent. They wanted you to have that thing you have wanted for a long time that you would never get yourself.
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Reminds of my oldest son when he was 12ish or so. We went over to my folks (who always gave the grandkids cash to spend on themselves)... anyway when my son opened his card and there was a $50 bill in it he exclaimed good I can put this with the one I got last years, lol.
 
stonewall50 said:
So today is my birthday and I got some money from family. I was told to spend it on myself (computer or a gaming system or a gun). Well I'm also looking for a new apartment for me and my girlfriend. So here is the "ethics question."

Is it ethical to spend that money on my apartment instead of what I was told to spend it on? I don't think it is. My reasoning is that if someone gives you money for you to buy XYZ with...you can't spend it on ABC ethically. If they wanted you to buy whatever with...they would tell you to do that. Anyways. What do you think?
Click to expand...

I have absolutely zero issue with that. If people give you an item as a present then I think there is a certain expectation that you use it as expected, but money is fair game. It's yours now do with it what you wish.

If it's an actual concern for you, why don't you just ask the people who gifted you the money? See what they say?
 
stonewall50 said:
So today is my birthday and I got some money from family. I was told to spend it on myself (computer or a gaming system or a gun). Well I'm also looking for a new apartment for me and my girlfriend. So here is the "ethics question."

Is it ethical to spend that money on my apartment instead of what I was told to spend it on? I don't think it is. My reasoning is that if someone gives you money for you to buy XYZ with...you can't spend it on ABC ethically. If they wanted you to buy whatever with...they would tell you to do that. Anyways. What do you think?
Click to expand...

Absolutely. Getting a new apartment (even if it is with your girlfriend) is spending it on yourself.
 
SmokeAndMirrors said:
Then why didn't they just buy it for you in the first place? :shrug:

I dunno, that seems like a way to wind up in a whole bunch of manipulative nonsense that didn't need to be there.

As far as I'm concerned, when you give someone straight-up money, you relinquish control of what is done with it after that point, regardless of what you'd "prefer" they do with it. If it was that big of a deal, you could have just bought the actual thing rather than given them money.
Click to expand...

Yep. Or if they want you to spend the money at a particular kind of place, like a sporting goods store or electronics store, then they can give you a gift card. If you get cash, do whatever you want with it and don't feel guilty.
 
stonewall50 said:
What do you think?
Click to expand...

You are not bound to anyone's wishes when they give you an object that has one or several uses. You decide how to use that object - in this case, money.

The only question is whether your moral choice coincides with the ones of your gift givers. If you already know that it doesn't, it would be a legitimate act on your part to tell them how you will use your newly acquired assets, even if it's opposed to what your donors would expect you to use them for.
 
It has always been my understanding that once someone gives you a gift, it's your decision what to do with it. If the donor specifies how the gift must be used, then it is not a gift. It is an advance payment for services rendered. I submit that the ethical question here is not how the money is spent. Rather, is it ethical to give a gift and specify how it is to be used?
 
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