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Oftencold explains it all for you: Happiness

Oftencold

Oftencold

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Life becomes more bearable and one typically becomes more productive in proportion to how much one devalues person happiness and accepts unhappiness as a natural and harmless state.

(This sad, but natural, and a mindset that our ancestors from the Colonial Period through the Mid Nineteenth Century would have taken for granted.)
 
Oftencold said:
Life becomes more bearable and one typically becomes more productive in proportion to how much one devalues person happiness and accepts unhappiness as a natural and harmless state.

(This sad, but natural, and a mindset that our ancestors from the Colonial Period through the Mid Nineteenth Century would have taken for granted.)
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How are you to answer the precious time that slips by without your control and it is plus an unhappy one?
 
Should re-title this thread: Oftencold - Clear as mud.
 
I disagree strongly with this simplistic deconstruction of what is a legitimate field of inquiry, the philosophy of happiness.

I tend to agree with Socrates' advice to find truth; find your own way of truth. If that means living in accordance with the cardinal values, or living as a stoic, or whatever you feel is appropriate.

Happiness is about being.
 
Oftencold said:
Life becomes more bearable and one typically becomes more productive in proportion to how much one devalues person happiness and accepts unhappiness as a natural and harmless state.

(This sad, but natural, and a mindset that our ancestors from the Colonial Period through the Mid Nineteenth Century would have taken for granted.)
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Happiness is a warm blanket
 
Momma says happiness comes from rays of sunshine when you're feelin blue
 
Jetboogieman said:
Momma says happiness comes from rays of sunshine when you're feelin blue
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Happiness is a combination of having base needs met, maturity (in the form of realistic expectations for life), and at least some minor luxury to have times where you can be relaxed
 
tacomancer said:
Happiness is a combination of having base needs met, maturity (in the form of realistic expectations for life), and at least some minor luxury to have times where you can be relaxed
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29msxs0.jpg


BUT MOMMA SAYS!
 
Oftencold said:
Life becomes more bearable and one typically becomes more productive in proportion to how much one devalues person happiness and accepts unhappiness as a natural and harmless state.

(This sad, but natural, and a mindset that our ancestors from the Colonial Period through the Mid Nineteenth Century would have taken for granted.)
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But, as Thomas Jefferson said, the PURSUIT of happiness is an inalienable right. So while you may not always be happy, you always have the right to try to be.
 
Oftencold said:
Life becomes more bearable and one typically becomes more productive in proportion to how much one devalues person happiness and accepts unhappiness as a natural and harmless state.
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Or perhaps understands that happiness is something which exists in the everyday monotony of life itself. Maybe happiness is just the acceptance of life as it is. I've had plenty of reasons to be miserable in my life, but I am not unhappy. I still get up in the morning, put on the coffee, get dressed, and go out to face the day with a smile on my face. I don't expect life to be good, but I am satisfied with that being the norm.
 
lizzie said:
Or perhaps understands that happiness is something which exists in the everyday monotony of life itself. Maybe happiness is just the acceptance of life as it is. I've had plenty of reasons to be miserable in my life, but I am not unhappy. I still get up in the morning, put on the coffee, get dressed, and go out to face the day with a smile on my face. I don't expect life to be good, but I am satisfied with that being the norm.
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That analysis seems a bit superficial to me. In my experience there simply are situations I have been in that make me desperately unhappy and as hard as I try and accept my situation the stress is still there and cannot be wished away. (I wish that wasn't the case though)

I spent the first part of last year desperately lonely for example. There have been times I cannot afford adequate food. Basically it's been my experience that humans have some pretty basic psychological and physiological needs that simply have to be met in order for them to function at a reasonable level.
 
tacomancer said:
That analysis seems a bit superficial to me. In my experience there simply are situations I have been in that make me desperately unhappy and as hard as I try and accept my situation the stress is still there.

I spent the first part of last year desperately lonely for example. There have been times I cannot afford adequate food. Basically it's been my experience that humans have some pretty basic psychological and physiological needs that simply have to be met in order for them to function at a reasonable level.
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Rather than superficial, it could merely be a difference in definitions and expectations. I am often lonely- at times the loneliness brings tears to my eyes, and the tears roll down my face in waves- you can take my word on that. That being said, I am also happy with my life. I have much to be thankful for. I live in a beautiful spot on the planet, and I have a job that pays my bills. I have a wonderful son, and two beautiful granddaughters. My life isn't perfect, but it's good.
 
lizzie said:
Rather than superficial, it could merely be a difference in definitions and expectations. I am often lonely- at times the loneliness brings tears to my eyes, and the tears roll down my face in waves- you can take my word on that. That being said, I am also happy with my life. I have much to be thankful for. I live in a beautiful spot on the planet, and I have a job that pays my bills. I have a wonderful son, and two beautiful granddaughters. My life isn't perfect, but it's good.
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I am a problem solver by nature (it's one of the reasons I self define as a progressive actually, among other reasons of course) so I would define your situation as one being unhappy but encountered with strength. Strength is good as it can moderate a problem but that problem (in my view) still exists. Alternatively, lots of people not on the internet see me as inspirational for my strength which isn't good at enduring but great at overcoming (hopefully that made sense, a bit of stream of consciousness there)

So yeah, different definitions. Not sure that either approach is superior either. But when I encounter stuff like what you have to deal with, I fix it. When I got lonely, I made new friends, I found a good woman (which turned out to be easier than I thought, but then again I don't have that whole one true love expectation either).

I also can't stand to not pick a scab either :p
 


Happiness more or less, is just a change in me, something in my liberty.
 
tacomancer said:
I am a problem solver by nature (it's one of the reasons I self define as a progressive actually, among other reasons of course) so I would define your situation as one being unhappy but encountered with strength. Strength is good as it can moderate a problem but that problem (in my view) still exists. Alternatively, lots of people not on the internet see me as inspirational for my strength which isn't good at enduring but great at overcoming (hopefully that made sense, a bit of stream of consciousness there)
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My question would be (for myself, not for you) "What is the actual problem?" as it relates to the things which distress us as humans. If I have a problem to solve, am I really solving the problem, or am I slapping a bandaid on it?
 
lizzie said:
My question would be (for myself, not for you) "What is the actual problem?" as it relates to the things which distress us as humans. If I have a problem to solve, am I really solving the problem, or am I slapping a bandaid on it?
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I don't understand the question.
 
tacomancer said:
I don't understand the question.
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I was relating to your problem-solving by finding a good woman, as you stated you did. What I ask myself is whether the problem is something within myself which is lacking, or if it's a problem which can actually be fixed by (for myself) finding a good man. What I am saying is that it's possible that I ask the wrong questions, or maybe my perception is what is faulty.
 
lizzie said:
I was relating to your problem-solving by finding a good woman, as you stated you did. What I ask myself is whether the problem is something within myself which is lacking, or if it's a problem which can actually be fixed by (for myself) finding a good man. What I am saying is that it's possible that I ask the wrong questions, or maybe my perception is what is faulty.
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Whenever I am unhappy, I try to change me. Maybe I need to grow up a bit or change some perspective or something. However, there are parts of me I simply have not been able to change. In terms of relationships, I have hated it when I am not in one since before puberty. Going through memories, I seemed to have that instinct to be with a woman since at least six when I started trying to peak at teenage girls and romanticising.

However, I pretty much have been able to find someone easily too. I have decent qualities and more than one woman has desperately fallen in love with me. Four months was my longest dry spell actually and even then I was turning down opportunities that I figured wouldn't go anywhere. I don't even go on a first date without being pretty sure someone is a long term prospect and I have only tried to sleep with one girl outside a relationship and I was very drunk that night.

So for me, I'm this case, the answer is to find a nice woman. I would rather find an answer within but I was unable to.

That's how I see it at least. You can endure and be patient. I suck at that but I am type a too. You can change something inside. You can change your situation.
 
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It's amazing how easily our perspective is subject to chemical imbalances in our brains. One moment we can be perfectly happy, the next utterly sad, sometimes for no clear external reason. It could be because an event triggers bad memories in us. Or it could just be hormones.

Happiness is like a sport, it requires lots of training! Mental and physical. Much effort, grit and determination. Also acceptance that you can't win every time, but you'll be back to play again.
Willing submission to unhappiness is like conceding defeat.
 
tacomancer said:
Whenever I am unhappy, I try to change me. Maybe I need to grow up a bit or change some perspective or something. However, there are parts of me I simply have not been able to change. In terms of relationships, I have hated it when I am not in one since before puberty. Going through memories, I seemed to have that instinct to be with a woman since at least six when I started trying to peak at teenage girls and romanticising.

However, I pretty much have been able to find someone easily too. I have decent qualities and more than one woman has desperately fallen in love with me. Four months was my longest dry spell actually and even then I was turning down opportunities that I figured wouldn't go anywhere. I don't even go on a first date without being pretty sure someone is a long term prospect and I have only tried to sleep with one girl outside a relationship and I was very drunk that night.

So for me, I'm this case, the answer is to find a nice woman.
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I wasn't in any manner criticizing your views or your problem-solving. I have always been one to question my own motives, and try to look at my own life with a skeptical and objective glance, to see if a problem is something other than what it seems to be on the surface.
 
lizzie said:
I wasn't in any manner criticizing your views or your problem-solving. I have always been one to question my own motives, and try to look at my own life with a skeptical and objective glance, to see if a problem is something other than what it seems to be on the surface.
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I didn't think you were. I was trying to flesh out my answer as I best I could with my own personal experience. :)

Looking deep is a good skill to practice. I always question myself, always have and with me it's helped me develop incredible instincts for both myself and my needs and for others. I spend a lot of time in real life counseling people and helping them overcome trauma because I dealt with so much of it myself and overcome most of it through sheer determination.

So yeah I am a fan of looking deep :)

The wisest person I know is my friend pat and I am basically her unofficial son. What she says will happen does. It's kind of freaky but unerring. She would say there is no such thing as a bandaid only situations that either work or don't.
 
Oftencold said:
Life becomes more bearable and one typically becomes more productive in proportion to how much one devalues person happiness and accepts unhappiness as a natural and harmless state.

(This sad, but natural, and a mindset that our ancestors from the Colonial Period through the Mid Nineteenth Century would have taken for granted.)
Click to expand...

Disagree. Unhappiness is simply a characterization humans place on something that makes them feel bad. A better measure to attain a state of feeling good, is to accept a state of being content. Specifically, a state of emptiness is most beneficial to attain a state of being content. Empty of desire, empty of emotion, empty of excess possessions (stuff if you will).
 
SBu said:
Specifically, a state of emptiness is most beneficial to attain a state of being content. Empty of desire, empty of emotion, empty of excess possessions (stuff if you will).
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Coincidentally, likely the most difficult state of mind to reach. :lol:
I understand that sentiment, and agree to a certain point. My question becomes one concerning the difference between emptiness and apathy. I think it's a fine line to walk, and difficult to balance the concepts.
 
lizzie said:
Coincidentally, likely the most difficult state of mind to reach. :lol:
I understand that sentiment, and agree to a certain point. My question becomes one concerning the difference between emptiness and apathy. I think it's a fine line to walk, and difficult to balance the concepts.
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Certainly. Only the most pious of Buddhist monks can probably truly attain that. For us lay people, probably the best state to aim for is being content and trying as best we can to control emotional extremes.
 
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