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Lies Jesus Told

M

Mr Fact

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Here are the quotes from Jesus that prove that he lied about prayer:


1) And Jesus answered and said to them, "Truly I say to you, if you have faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what was done to the fig tree, but even if you say to this mountain, `Be taken up and cast into the sea,' it will happen. "And all things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive." (Matthew 21:21-22 )

2) Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. (Matthew 7:7-8)


I want the sky to turn green with purple polka dots for a week. Did you hear that God? If it doesn't happen then Jesus lied about prayer.

3) Again I say to you, that if two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father who is in heaven. For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst. (Matthew 18:19-20)

4) Amen, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, 'Be lifted up and thrown into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it shall be done for him. Therefore I tell you, all that you ask for in prayer, believe that you will receive it and it shall be yours. (Mark 11:24-25)

5) And I tell you, ask and you will receive; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. (Luke 11:9-13 NAB)


Knock! Knock! Who's there? God. God who? The same God who is punishing all humanity because Eve ate an apple.


6) And whatever you ask in my name, I will do, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask anything of me in my name, I will do it. (John 14:13-14)



7) If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask for whatever you want and it will be done for you. (John 15:7 NAB)


Well Jesus I read in the hidden Gospel of Mark how found you were of little Greek boys. Did you get into one of them? I think you did?


8) It was not you who chose me, but I who chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit that will remain, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name he may give you. (John 15:16 NAB)


Lord won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz? In Jesus name of course.

9) On that day you will not question me about anything. Amen, amen, I say to you, whatever you ask the Father in my name he will give you. Until now you have not asked anything in my name; ask and you will receive, so that your joy may be complete. (John 16:23-24 NAB)


I want a beer.

10) The Lord replied, "If you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you could say to this mulberry tree, 'Be uprooted and planted in the sea,' and it would obey you! (Luke 17:6)

There must be millions of Christers with very little faith. There is no good reason to uproot a perfectly good mulberry tree and toss it in the ocean but I do have a lot of weeds in my lawn so could some of you Christers ask God in Jesus' name to weed my lawn and toss the weeds in a pile?


Jesus repeats this lie and add to it in Matthew 12:20 And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.


I guess that old liar and scoundrel Jesus didn't think that anybody would be taking notes and writing this stuff down.


It gets worse! Jesus sometimes would claim to be God and God claims to know everything BUT apparently he forgot that a mustard seed is not the smallest of all seed but being the liar that he was, he said it was. “The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and sowed in his field; and this is smaller than all other seeds; but when it is full grown, it is larger than the garden plants, and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and nest in its branches,” (Matt. 13:31)


There will be Christers that will lie and say that Jesus was only talking about local seeds but clearly he meant all seeds because that is what he said and wouldn't God be precise especially if he knew this **** was going to get written down and presented as his "Word"?

http://godishate.blogspot.com/2011/06/jesus-lied-about-prayer-here-are-quotes.html
 
A little too much time on your hands, today, was there?
 
Gardener said:
A little too much time on your hands, today, was there?
Click to expand...

I am sorry that proper and complete erudition causes you to make snide remarks. I am sorry that you are unable to discuss the subject with any sort of intellectual honesty or intellectual ambition.

UPDATE! Jesus also lied about his return.

Verily I say unto you, There be some standing here, which shall not taste of death, till they see the Son of man coming in his kingdom. -- Matthew 16:28

“Verily I say unto you, This generation shall not pass, till all these things be fulfilled.” - Matthew 24:34
 
Last edited:
Literalism is lame.
 
Mr Fact said:
Here are the quotes from Jesus that prove that he lied about prayer:


1) And Jesus answered and said to them, "Truly I say to you, if you have faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what was done to the fig tree, but even if you say to this mountain, `Be taken up and cast into the sea,' it will happen. "And all things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive." (Matthew 21:21-22 )

2) Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. (Matthew 7:7-8)


I want the sky to turn green with purple polka dots for a week. Did you hear that God? If it doesn't happen then Jesus lied about prayer.

3) Again I say to you, that if two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father who is in heaven. For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst. (Matthew 18:19-20)

4) Amen, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, 'Be lifted up and thrown into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it shall be done for him. Therefore I tell you, all that you ask for in prayer, believe that you will receive it and it shall be yours. (Mark 11:24-25)

5) And I tell you, ask and you will receive; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. (Luke 11:9-13 NAB)


Knock! Knock! Who's there? God. God who? The same God who is punishing all humanity because Eve ate an apple.


6) And whatever you ask in my name, I will do, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask anything of me in my name, I will do it. (John 14:13-14)



7) If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask for whatever you want and it will be done for you. (John 15:7 NAB)


Well Jesus I read in the hidden Gospel of Mark how found you were of little Greek boys. Did you get into one of them? I think you did?


8) It was not you who chose me, but I who chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit that will remain, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name he may give you. (John 15:16 NAB)


Lord won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz? In Jesus name of course.

9) On that day you will not question me about anything. Amen, amen, I say to you, whatever you ask the Father in my name he will give you. Until now you have not asked anything in my name; ask and you will receive, so that your joy may be complete. (John 16:23-24 NAB)


I want a beer.

10) The Lord replied, "If you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you could say to this mulberry tree, 'Be uprooted and planted in the sea,' and it would obey you! (Luke 17:6)

There must be millions of Christers with very little faith. There is no good reason to uproot a perfectly good mulberry tree and toss it in the ocean but I do have a lot of weeds in my lawn so could some of you Christers ask God in Jesus' name to weed my lawn and toss the weeds in a pile?


Jesus repeats this lie and add to it in Matthew 12:20 And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.


I guess that old liar and scoundrel Jesus didn't think that anybody would be taking notes and writing this stuff down.


It gets worse! Jesus sometimes would claim to be God and God claims to know everything BUT apparently he forgot that a mustard seed is not the smallest of all seed but being the liar that he was, he said it was. “The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and sowed in his field; and this is smaller than all other seeds; but when it is full grown, it is larger than the garden plants, and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and nest in its branches,” (Matt. 13:31)


There will be Christers that will lie and say that Jesus was only talking about local seeds but clearly he meant all seeds because that is what he said and wouldn't God be precise especially if he knew this **** was going to get written down and presented as his "Word"?

God Is Hate
Click to expand...

I take it you don't particularly like Christens do you? Any other religions you feel the same way about, say Islam or perhaps Judaism?
 
You can just say you are an atheist... no need to insult a dead guy.
 
ecofarm said:
Literalism is lame.
Click to expand...

The only literalists are either fundies or atheists - and they both tend to lump everybody into black or white. Fundies put you in the "If you don't believe that Genesis is literally true, you're an atheist (and probably gay also, because you're "other"). Literalist atheists think if you believe in God at all, you're a fundie.
 
What is a "Christer" ?

Also, you may want to try to understand the Bible, what Jesus is saying, and not jump to hasty conclusions likely because you have an axe to grind with God and want to believe whatever reinforces your view.

My first hint was the whole citing a blog called "godishate"
 
Gardener said:
A little too much time on your hands, today, was there?
Click to expand...

Would one of you mind explaining the allegorical significance of these quotes to me? I'm a little confused because we aren't supposed
to take the Bible literally: I would like to know how these symbolically reinforce Jesus's love.

"I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man. She must be quiet." (1 Timothy 2:12)

"Go, now, attack Amalek, and deal with him and all that he has under the ban. Do not spare him, but kill men and women, children and infants, oxen and sheep, camels and asses." (1 Samuel 15:3)

"You shall not let a sorceress live." (Exodus 22:18)

"Happy those who seize your children and smash them against a rock." (Psalm 137:9)

"When the men would not listen to his host, the husband seized his concubine and thrust her outside to them. They had relations with her and abused her all night until the following dawn, when they let her go. Then at daybreak the woman came and collapsed at the entrance of the house in which her husband was a guest, where she lay until the morning. When her husband rose that day and opened the door of the house to start out again on his journey, there lay the woman, his concubine, at the entrance of the house with her hands on the threshold. He said to her, 'Come, let us go'; but there was no answer. So the man placed her on an ass and started out again for home." (Judges 19:25-28)

"And the males likewise gave up natural relations with females and burned with lust for one another. Males did shameful things with males and thus received in their own persons the due penalty for their perversity." (Romans 1:27)

"Jephthah made a vow to the Lord. 'If you deliver the Ammonites into my power,' he said, 'whoever comes out of the doors of my house to meet me when I return in triumph from the Ammonites shall belong to the Lord. I shall offer him up as a holocaust.' ... When Jephthah returned to his house in Mizpah, it was his daughter who came forth, playing the tambourines and dancing. She was an only child: he had neither son nor daughter besides her. When he saw her, he rent his garments and said, 'Alas, daughter, you have struck me down and brought calamity upon me. For I have made a vow to the Lord and I cannot retract'." (Judges 11:30-1, 34-5)

"Then God said: 'Take your son Isaac, your only one, whom you love, and go to the land of Moriah. There you shall offer him up as a holocaust on a height that I will point out to you'."(Genesis 22:2)

"Wives should be subordinate to their husbands as to the Lord." (Ephesians 5:22)

"Slaves, be subject to your masters with all reverence, not only to those who are good and equitable but also to those who are perverse." (1 Peter 2:18)
 
ethanUNC said:
Would one of you
Click to expand...

One of you WHAT?

I am so seldom any part of a plural "you" that it would help to narrow things down a bit.
 
Mr Fact said:
There must be millions of Christers with very little faith. There is no good reason to uproot a perfectly good mulberry tree and toss it in the ocean but I do have a lot of weeds in my lawn so could some of you Christers ask God in Jesus' name to weed my lawn and toss the weeds in a pile?


Jesus repeats this lie and add to it in Matthew 12:20 And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.


I guess that old liar and scoundrel Jesus didn't think that anybody would be taking notes and writing this stuff down.


It gets worse! Jesus sometimes would claim to be God and God claims to know everything BUT apparently he forgot that a mustard seed is not the smallest of all seed but being the liar that he was, he said it was. “The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and sowed in his field; and this is smaller than all other seeds; but when it is full grown, it is larger than the garden plants, and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and nest in its branches,” (Matt. 13:31)


There will be Christers that will lie and say that Jesus was only talking about local seeds but clearly he meant all seeds because that is what he said and wouldn't God be precise especially if he knew this **** was going to get written down and presented as his "Word"?

God Is Hate
Click to expand...

I'm guessing you must have missed the day in class, where metaphor was explained. ;)
 
lizzie said:
I'm guessing you must have missed the day in class, where metaphor was explained. ;)
Click to expand...

Would you kindly explain the metaphors in the quotes that I posted? I love literary analysis.

Let's start with this one:
"Happy those who seize your children and smash them against a rock." (Psalm 137:9)
 
Mr Fact said:
Here are the quotes from Jesus that prove that he lied about prayer:


1) And Jesus answered and said to them, "Truly I say to you, if you have faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what was done to the fig tree, but even if you say to this mountain, `Be taken up and cast into the sea,' it will happen. "And all things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive." (Matthew 21:21-22 )

2) Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. (Matthew 7:7-8)


I want the sky to turn green with purple polka dots for a week. Did you hear that God? If it doesn't happen then Jesus lied about prayer.

3) Again I say to you, that if two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father who is in heaven. For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst. (Matthew 18:19-20)

4) Amen, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, 'Be lifted up and thrown into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it shall be done for him. Therefore I tell you, all that you ask for in prayer, believe that you will receive it and it shall be yours. (Mark 11:24-25)

5) And I tell you, ask and you will receive; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. (Luke 11:9-13 NAB)


Knock! Knock! Who's there? God. God who? The same God who is punishing all humanity because Eve ate an apple.


6) And whatever you ask in my name, I will do, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask anything of me in my name, I will do it. (John 14:13-14)



7) If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask for whatever you want and it will be done for you. (John 15:7 NAB)


Well Jesus I read in the hidden Gospel of Mark how found you were of little Greek boys. Did you get into one of them? I think you did?


8) It was not you who chose me, but I who chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit that will remain, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name he may give you. (John 15:16 NAB)


Lord won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz? In Jesus name of course.

9) On that day you will not question me about anything. Amen, amen, I say to you, whatever you ask the Father in my name he will give you. Until now you have not asked anything in my name; ask and you will receive, so that your joy may be complete. (John 16:23-24 NAB)


I want a beer.

10) The Lord replied, "If you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you could say to this mulberry tree, 'Be uprooted and planted in the sea,' and it would obey you! (Luke 17:6)

There must be millions of Christers with very little faith. There is no good reason to uproot a perfectly good mulberry tree and toss it in the ocean but I do have a lot of weeds in my lawn so could some of you Christers ask God in Jesus' name to weed my lawn and toss the weeds in a pile?


Jesus repeats this lie and add to it in Matthew 12:20 And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.

I guess that old liar and scoundrel Jesus didn't think that anybody would be taking notes and writing this stuff down.
Click to expand...

Didn't anyone educate you on Biblical principles so that you would know that it helps greatly to be in the will of the Lord so that your prayers are answered? The probable reason your greedy prayers aren't answered is because the Lord likely looks at you as a stiff-necked, Christ-mocking heathen.

Mr Fact said:
It gets worse! Jesus sometimes would claim to be God and God claims to know everything BUT apparently he forgot that a mustard seed is not the smallest of all seed but being the liar that he was, he said it was. “The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and sowed in his field; and this is smaller than all other seeds; but when it is full grown, it is larger than the garden plants, and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and nest in its branches,” (Matt. 13:31)
Click to expand...

Contradictions: Seeds of Dissent - Answers in Genesis
 
ecofarm said:
Literalism is lame.
Click to expand...

Tell that to the people who use it to attack science, discriminate against gays, and oppress women. Do something about the believers in your midst who are moved to evil because of this text than atheists who say it's nonsense.

Logicman said:
Didn't anyone educate you on Biblical principles so that you would know that it helps greatly to be in the will of the Lord so that your prayers are answered? The probable reason your greedy prayers aren't answered is because the Lord likely looks at you as a stiff-necked, Christ-mocking heathen.
Click to expand...

You do know that they've done studies of this sort of thing. They've taken people who really did believe, and measured if prayers for healing had any effect. They did not. Unless you think that god was spiting the sick people in order to ensure that people looking for evidence of his existence couldn't find it... then belief has no effect on the outcome of prayer.
 
lizzie said:
I'm guessing you must have missed the day in class, where metaphor was explained. ;)
Click to expand...
I'm guessing that class is yet a few years off. ;)
 
Paschendale said:
You do know that they've done studies of this sort of thing. They've taken people who really did believe, and measured if prayers for healing had any effect. They did not. Unless you think that god was spiting the sick people in order to ensure that people looking for evidence of his existence couldn't find it... then belief has no effect on the outcome of prayer.
Click to expand...

Did you forget about what Jesus said: "You shall not put the Lord thy God to the test."
 
ethanUNC said:
Would you kindly explain the metaphors in the quotes that I posted? I love literary analysis.

Let's start with this one:
"Happy those who seize your children and smash them against a rock." (Psalm 137:9)
Click to expand...

Ummm, if you even have to ask, then you missed the point. As for your Psalm, that was OT. Jesus was NT. ;)
 
You start with the assumption that an unsubstantiated claim is true... namely that the character of Christ is true in the Christian religion... and then you try to prove that Christian claims are false.

The mistake is yours. You assume religious claims are true and then you try to use logic and reason to prove them wrong. It ain't gonna happen. You can either refute all religious claims are false by definition, or stop accepting some of their claims and then wonder why the rest of their claims are true or not.
 
Logicman said:
Did you forget about what Jesus said: "You shall not put the Lord thy God to the test."
Click to expand...

And you think that god is so spiteful that he would refuse to help people who were being prayed for merely because other people were testing it?
 
Paralogic said:
You start with the assumption that an unsubstantiated claim is true... namely that the character of Christ is true in the Christian religion... and then you try to prove that Christian claims are false.

The mistake is yours. You assume religious claims are true and then you try to use logic and reason to prove them wrong. It ain't gonna happen. You can either refute all religious claims are false by definition, or stop accepting some of their claims and then wonder why the rest of their claims are true or not.
Click to expand...
:blink: :thinking :blink:
 
lizzie said:
Ummm, if you even have to ask, then you missed the point. As for your Psalm, that was OT. Jesus was NT. ;)
Click to expand...

What point did I miss? Is there a loving message in here I'm not seeing? Maybe it's written in code.
 
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