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He defeated his wife, but he wrecked himself

SDET

SDET

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I once had a friend that told me how much he despised his wife. At the time his kids were pre-teens. Knowing that he would lose his kids if he divorced, he followed the following game plan:

He happened to like working as an IT contractor. He started staying on unemployment longer between contracts. When I told him about opportunities that might require a fifty mile commute, he wasn't interested. He began drawing money out of retirement and buying stuff for his kids. Looking back, it appears that he was doing that as "custody insurance". He abandoned his profession and scraped by from repairing junk cars and reselling them. More years went by and he used what remained of his retirement to prepay college as soon as his kids finished high school. Finally when he had no assets and almost no income he divorced his wife after 12 years of careful planning. He gloated to me how she got NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING and as an added bonus, the kids don't like her very much either.

He has since had a stroke and I'm not bothering with him anymore and haven't for quite awhile because we have nothing in common. In the past, we had a mutual interest of "comparing notes" on how to keep one's IT career sharp, lucrative and enjoyable. That, of course, is gone.

He obviously went too extreme. I'm all for men not being suckers, but in a way maximizes their options, not in a way that limits them.
 
SDET said:
I once had a friend that told me how much he despised his wife. At the time his kids were pre-teens. Knowing that he would lose his kids if he divorced, he followed the following game plan:

He happened to like working as an IT contractor. He started staying on unemployment longer between contracts. When I told him about opportunities that might require a fifty mile commute, he wasn't interested. He began drawing money out of retirement and buying stuff for his kids. Looking back, it appears that he was doing that as "custody insurance". He abandoned his profession and scraped by from repairing junk cars and reselling them. More years went by and he used what remained of his retirement to prepay college as soon as his kids finished high school. Finally when he had no assets and almost no income he divorced his wife after 12 years of careful planning. He gloated to me how she got NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING and as an added bonus, the kids don't like her very much either.

He has since had a stroke and I'm not bothering with him anymore and haven't for quite awhile because we have nothing in common. In the past, we had a mutual interest of "comparing notes" on how to keep one's IT career sharp, lucrative and enjoyable. That, of course, is gone.

He obviously went too extreme. I'm all for men not being suckers, but in a way maximizes their options, not in a way that limits them.
Click to expand...

He could have achieved the same protection by keeping everything he owned leveraged to the hilt. That is how my old boss did it. As soon as he had some equity, he would refinance it, strip it out and reinvest it in other property so he had a ton of property and income, but no real assets.
 
SDET said:
I once had a friend that told me how much he despised his wife. At the time his kids were pre-teens. Knowing that he would lose his kids if he divorced, he followed the following game plan:

He happened to like working as an IT contractor. He started staying on unemployment longer between contracts. When I told him about opportunities that might require a fifty mile commute, he wasn't interested. He began drawing money out of retirement and buying stuff for his kids. Looking back, it appears that he was doing that as "custody insurance". He abandoned his profession and scraped by from repairing junk cars and reselling them. More years went by and he used what remained of his retirement to prepay college as soon as his kids finished high school. Finally when he had no assets and almost no income he divorced his wife after 12 years of careful planning. He gloated to me how she got NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING and as an added bonus, the kids don't like her very much either.

He has since had a stroke and I'm not bothering with him anymore and haven't for quite awhile because we have nothing in common. In the past, we had a mutual interest of "comparing notes" on how to keep one's IT career sharp, lucrative and enjoyable. That, of course, is gone.

He obviously went too extreme. I'm all for men not being suckers, but in a way maximizes their options, not in a way that limits them.
Click to expand...

A sad little man.... Destroy yourself to "get even".
 
If I understand you right, the hidden asset was the difference between reported value of the properties and what he knew he could sell them for. Also, he would have income from any rent collected.

Drawdown said:
He could have achieved the same protection by keeping everything he owned leveraged to the hilt. That is how my old boss did it. As soon as he had some equity, he would refinance it, strip it out and reinvest it in other property so he had a ton of property and income, but no real assets.
Click to expand...
 
Or, he could just have gotten divorced, paid his dues, avoided living through 12 miserable years of stress and probably not had a ****ing stroke. :doh
 
SDET said:
If I understand you right, the hidden asset was the difference between reported value of the properties and what he knew he could sell them for. Also, he would have income from any rent collected.
Click to expand...

No he just held a ton of properties and kept stripping out the equity to buy more property so that in the event of a divorce, he could just stop paying or it would show up as having little to no value. Anyway, he died in a car wreck and all of them except 1 of the family's two homes were lost in foreclosure. She just didn't want the property and the liens and to be a landlord. She had 6 kids to raise. The life insurance and wrongful death money took care of what she needed taking care of so she lucked out in that sense.
 
SDET said:
I once had a friend that told me how much he despised his wife. At the time his kids were pre-teens. Knowing that he would lose his kids if he divorced, he followed the following game plan:

He happened to like working as an IT contractor. He started staying on unemployment longer between contracts. When I told him about opportunities that might require a fifty mile commute, he wasn't interested. He began drawing money out of retirement and buying stuff for his kids. Looking back, it appears that he was doing that as "custody insurance". He abandoned his profession and scraped by from repairing junk cars and reselling them. More years went by and he used what remained of his retirement to prepay college as soon as his kids finished high school. Finally when he had no assets and almost no income he divorced his wife after 12 years of careful planning. He gloated to me how she got NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING and as an added bonus, the kids don't like her very much either.

He has since had a stroke and I'm not bothering with him anymore and haven't for quite awhile because we have nothing in common. In the past, we had a mutual interest of "comparing notes" on how to keep one's IT career sharp, lucrative and enjoyable. That, of course, is gone.

He obviously went too extreme. I'm all for men not being suckers, but in a way maximizes their options, not in a way that limits them.
Click to expand...

I knew quite a few people facing divorce, whe I worked in cali it was common for another shop to sell my shop a boat, or a second house, or something else for near nothing then hint hint wink wink the divorce is final I need my stuff back. Sometimes the lawyers would catch on but most of the time they ignored it and did ziltch about it and they would keep their best stuff.
 
beerftw said:
I knew quite a few people facing divorce, whe I worked in cali it was common for another shop to sell my shop a boat, or a second house, or something else for near nothing then hint hint wink wink the divorce is final I need my stuff back. Sometimes the lawyers would catch on but most of the time they ignored it and did ziltch about it and they would keep their best stuff.
Click to expand...

The most likely scenario I have seen play out, repeatedly, is what we labeled the "crash burn." Divorced dude loses job, gets dui, gets hooked up with more losers, and eventually either spirals straight down to rock bottom or finds some savior female who puts him back on the straight and narrow path he was on before his marriage went to crap.

Very few exceptions.
 
SDET said:
I once had a friend that told me how much he despised his wife. At the time his kids were pre-teens. Knowing that he would lose his kids if he divorced, he followed the following game plan:

He happened to like working as an IT contractor. He started staying on unemployment longer between contracts. When I told him about opportunities that might require a fifty mile commute, he wasn't interested. He began drawing money out of retirement and buying stuff for his kids. Looking back, it appears that he was doing that as "custody insurance". He abandoned his profession and scraped by from repairing junk cars and reselling them. More years went by and he used what remained of his retirement to prepay college as soon as his kids finished high school. Finally when he had no assets and almost no income he divorced his wife after 12 years of careful planning. He gloated to me how she got NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING and as an added bonus, the kids don't like her very much either.

He has since had a stroke and I'm not bothering with him anymore and haven't for quite awhile because we have nothing in common. In the past, we had a mutual interest of "comparing notes" on how to keep one's IT career sharp, lucrative and enjoyable. That, of course, is gone.

He obviously went too extreme. I'm all for men not being suckers, but in a way maximizes their options, not in a way that limits them.
Click to expand...

17456480-288-k72234.jpg
 
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