Which side of the bed is the left side?

nota bene said:

:lol: I have accepted my fate: If I had a bed as big as a bedroom, I would still be allowed only the same 14-16 inches.

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My wife tells me she prefers the left side of the bed so when she wakens for an early morning tap of the kidneys she can climb on me as she heads to the door of the bedroom on the right side of the bed, then I get to enjoy her knees pummeling me as I try to sleep upon her egress and ingress to the bed. As if her cold feet planted in the middle of my back as we sleep isn't enough of a pleasure.....

I need a nap.

OldFatGuy said:

My wife tells me she prefers the left side of the bed so when she wakens for an early morning tap of the kidneys she can climb on me as she heads to the door of the bedroom on the right side of the bed, then I get to enjoy her knees pummeling me as I try to sleep upon her egress and ingress to the bed. As if her cold feet planted in the middle of my back as we sleep isn't enough of a pleasure.....

I need a nap.

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Here's hoping she doesn't have boney elbows. Or feet. :lol:

nota bene said:

Here's hoping she doesn't have boney elbows. Or feet. :lol:

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5'4" 104 lbs. Everything is bony. And she kicks like a mule. My shins are evidence.

OldFatGuy said:

5'4" 104 lbs. Everything is bony. And she kicks like a mule. My shins are evidence.

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:lol: Smiling because my dad said exactly the same about my mom.

Just an observation. If you stood the bed on what is universally understood as the "foot" of the bed, with the "head" of the bed in the air, it would be quite easy to identify the right side and the left side of the bed.

nota bene said:

:lol: Smiling because my dad said exactly the same about my mom.

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Women are dangerous, and they cloud the mind. I wouldn't want to live without them in my life.

Last night we ate out with friends at Bareburger. My good friend's son who just hit 27 was staring at my wife throughout the meal, drooling and not from the food. She was wearing black slacks and a white blouse, almost no make up, minimal jewelry, yet she looked like she stepped out of a magazine. When she stepped up to hit the restroom, his eyes followed her like two beady magnets. His father chuckled, "Forget about it, you're outclassed." He couldn't have been more embarrassed. I said, "look all you want, the rest of the package is torture." My granddaughter gave me the evil eye. He barely mumbled two words to my wife throughout the evening. She seemed oblivious to his attentions. When his mom is at the beach in a bikini, she slays at 61. When we stepped outside for a walk after the meal, the two women couldn't stop laughing at him. My 17 year old granddaughter, with us, and who has a crush on him, tried to console him as they walked behind us. He's screwed. They're going bicycle riding tomorrow. His life is over and he doesn't know it, yet. The two women are already planning the wedding.

For some strange reason, the busboy was all over our table. She's 56, looks barely 30. I'm not a 100% certain, but I suspect the two women engineered this dinner. Neither of the kids usually dine out with us. They both find our behavior and conversations embarrassing. According to both of them, old people shouldn't be so obsessed with sex, and our discussion about the bordello scenes in Game of Thrones was on par for the four of us when we get together. Before the evening was over, my granddaughter called me an old pervert seven times, and she wouldn't even speak to my friend after the sixth time he told he told her he'd like her to join them for a threesome. He told me this morning, his wife made him suffer for that. "But I was just joking" didn't do him any good. She's a natural redhead, he should know better by now, even if she does color her hair these days.

This morning, my wife was humming during breakfast. This is going to cost me and my son a lot of money. She was extremely nice to me all day, totally out of character except when she has plans for spending my money. Bony old witch.

nota bene said:

So what's your self-analysis? Someone who likes to keep his options open? Who likes both beer and wine, depending?

Or, <snicker>, someone who doesn't have pets and is allowed to sleep where he chooses?

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I can do beer or wine but I prefer hard liquor like bourbon- maybe thats it...

OldFatGuy said:

My wife sleeps on both sides of the bed, whether I am there or not. That's why I often move to the living room couch for a peaceful rest. Then dog pushes me onto the floor. Thank god for thick carpeting.

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So the dog wears the pants in your family? Hookay... :2razz:

nota bene said:

"Do You Sleep On the Right or Left Side of the Bed? Study Claims the Answer Reveals a Lot About Your Personality"

Does your brain influence which side of the bed you sleep on?

According to new research, people who sleep on the left side of the bed consider themselves more left-brained and people who sleep on the right side of the bed consider themselves more right-brained.

This new statistic emerged in a study of 2,000 Americans, which found that Americans who sleep on the left side are more likely to prefer oldies music and drama films, whereas right-side sleepers prefer rock music and action flicks.

The survey, conducted by OnePoll on behalf of Slumber Cloud, also revealed right-siders tend to prefer wine over beer, whereas left-siders are the opposite. The stats also came out for political affiliation, as left-wingers tend to sleep on the left side of the bed, and right-wingers tend to sleep on the right side of the bed. Do you sleep on the right or left side of the bed? Study claims the answer reveals a lot about your personality | Fox News

So is the left side of the bed the side to the left when you're looking at/facing the bed, or is it the left side when you're in the bed?

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The left side is where my left arm lies when I am in bed.