Is it wrong to say "ma'am" (or "sir")....I got a chuckle this morning when reading that a 10-year-old boy in North Carolina was punished by his teacher for repeatedly using that word when speaking with her.
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When I was a mere whippersnapper in my late 60s (I'm now 81), I courteously (I thought) answered "Yes, ma'am" to someone who was (at least!) in her 60s, too. She exploded: "Don't call me 'ma'am'! Why, you are even older than I am!"
And I remember one time on a bus when a young man exploded on the bus when the driver addressed him courteously as "sir": "Don't call me 'sir.' I am not old!"
Red:
To the extent we're talking about a minor addressing an adult, whether it's "wrong" ("wrong" is hardly the word I'd use in this situation, but whatever...) depends on whether the teacher had instructed the kid to address her in a specific way and whether she'd specifically instructed her students not to call her "Ma'am." If she so instructed the kid(s), why she did is irrelevant. If she did, she did and the kid should have shown her the respect of acceding to her instruction for to do otherwise is a subtle form of insolence.
As kids, my parents stipulated that "yes" and "no" were to be followed by any of "Mother," "Mom," "Ma'am," "Father," "Dad," or "Sir," as appropriate. We weren't going to like what was coming next if we didn't. Other situations -- e.g., when objecting to something Momma or Dad had said -- also required our using a respectful title somewhere -- beginning, middle or end -- in our address to our parents, teachers, and other adults who didn't bid us to call them something other than "Mister," "Mrs/Miss," "Sir," or "Ma'am."
Even now, I don't call people by their given names until I'm invited to do so. Similarly, strangers peeve me when they address me familiarly, and it's clear they know my surname. If you've ever called a customer service number, been called by people selling something or soliciting donations, you'll know what I mean. It'd be different were they to ask to address me familiarly, but they don't; they just presume to do so.
Blue:
I think whoever those persons are/were miscomprehend the point of "Sir" and "Ma'am." "Ma'am," used as a title, is what speakers say to show respect for the person spoken to, not to allude to age differences between the parties to the conversation.
