The trooper comes back and opens the door.
Trooper: alright, so I am going to issue a warning for the traffic violation.
Me: yes, sir. Thank you.
Trooper: we put everything back, except the weed of course. Your firearm is still under your seat and your car keys are on top of your car. Drive safe and don’t do this in Oklahoma again, ok?
Me: ...
Trooper: get out of here.
I get out of his car and I actually shake their hands and say thank you. And then I got the hell out of there.
During rest of the drive I did some thinking and came to a few conclusions.
First, the officers really cut me a break. I had enough weed that they
could have made a case for intent to sell. I think the way I conducted myself, from announcing the presence of a weapon at the very beginning and not lying and having a clean record and being a veteran probably helped sway them.
Second, it is so ****ed up that the government won’t let me use something that helps me cope with a condition that I got in the service of that same government.
Third, I need to consider moving to a free state so I don’t risk going through that again.
Fourth, this issue I have is worse than I thought. The stress from that incident was enough for me to lose my grip on reality for a moment. It could have triggered a fight or flight response. What if I had been armed in that moment when I delusionally thought lives were on the line?
So for the time being I have turned my guns over to my best friend for safe keeping. I know there is a risk in doing that as well, but I don’t know what else to do.
God DAMN it, I’m crying again. I just want to live a normal ****ing life without these “demons” knocking around in my brain.
I’ll stop. I wasn’t intending to rehash
this thread. It is 4:00 am. I guess I should try to sleep.
I could really have used that weed right about now. Oh well.