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What is the matter with single moms?

MaggieD

MaggieD

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I hear of so many women who don't take dads to family court to firm up child support. Shame on them! I often watch court shows, and the guy inevitably says, "If my child needs something, I will pay for it."

That merely puts mom in the position of having to ask for money and justify it. Child support is the right of the child... why don't moms make it formal?
 
MaggieD said:
I hear of so many women who don't take dads to family court to firm up child support. Shame on them! I often watch court shows, and the guy inevitably says, "If my child needs something, I will pay for it."

That merely puts mom in the position of having to ask for money and justify it. Child support is the right of the child... why don't moms make it formal?
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Do you have any familiarity with how poorly family courts and such tend to function now?

Maybe horror stories involving great expense to the citizens involved to reach a bad decision which harmed the citizens involved?
 
MaggieD said:
I hear of so many women who don't take dads to family court to firm up child support. Shame on them! I often watch court shows, and the guy inevitably says, "If my child needs something, I will pay for it."

That merely puts mom in the position of having to ask for money and justify it. Child support is the right of the child... why don't moms make it formal?
Click to expand...

In some cases, perhaps because single parents just don't have the money for even more court fees.

In some cases, because they know the child support may be leveraged for other stuff they may want, and they'd rather try to go it alone than subject their child to that.

For my dad (men can be single parents too, you know...), who didn't ask for child support even though my mother was the higher earner, it was some of both. He made it work, and I didn't want for anything.
 
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MaggieD said:
I hear of so many women who don't take dads to family court to firm up child support. Shame on them! I often watch court shows, and the guy inevitably says, "If my child needs something, I will pay for it."

That merely puts mom in the position of having to ask for money and justify it. Child support is the right of the child... why don't moms make it formal?
Click to expand...

???... If the woman isn't asking for child support why are they in court?
 
SenorXm/Sirius said:
???... If the woman isn't asking for child support why are they in court?
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For various things. "He promised he'd pay half the dental bill." "I lent him money to fix his car, and he's not paying me back." TV court shows don't deal in child support.
 
Jesse Booth said:
Divorce?
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Which usually involves child support and alimony? No?

Maybe I'm nit picking but if the man is in court saying he will pay if the child needs something. Are the women refusing the help? It doesn't seem to add up.
 
MaggieD said:
For various things. "He promised he'd pay half the dental bill." "I lent him money to fix his car, and he's not paying me back." TV court shows don't deal in child support.
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Oh.. I never have watched Court TV, so I thought it was dealing with child support.. Makes more sense now.
 
From my experience, many single moms eschew child support because they'd rather not deal with dad.

Which is sad for everyone, IMO.
 
MaggieD said:
I hear of so many women who don't take dads to family court to firm up child support. Shame on them! I often watch court shows, and the guy inevitably says, "If my child needs something, I will pay for it."

That merely puts mom in the position of having to ask for money and justify it. Child support is the right of the child... why don't moms make it formal?
Click to expand...

Theres no shame in it at all.
I know a lot of moms don't because child support is an easier path to visitation rights. All the women I personally know but one that dont seek support have that has their reason. 4 out of 5. The one is very well off herself and with family.
I myself never took my daughters egg donor for child support for that very same reason.

She had primary custody initially and i paid child support. Then i won primary custody, then sole custody then her legal rights were negated. I never pursued child support because it would have been an in for her to have visitation. Now she would of lost visitation anyway but it was easier this way.
 
AGENT J said:
Theres no shame in it at all.
I know a lot of moms don't because child support is an easier path to visitation rights. All the women I personally know but one that dont seek support have that has their reason. 4 out of 5. The one is very well off herself and with family.
I myself never took my daughters egg donor for child support for that very same reason.

She had primary custody initially and i paid child support. Then i won primary custody, then sole custody then her legal rights were negated. I never pursued child support because it would have been an in for her to have visitation. Now she would of lost visitation anyway but it was easier this way.
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Parental visitation can't be blocked for nonpayment of support. And to use child support as blackmail to keep a parent from his or her child is just plain wrong.
 
MaggieD said:
1.)Parental visitation can't be blocked for nonpayment of support.
2.) And to use child support as blackmail to keep a parent from his or her child is just plain wrong.
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1.) who said it could?
2.) I agree, who is doing that?

obviously you didnt read a thing I said or understand it. :shrug:
 
AGENT J said:
1.) who said it could?
2.) I agree, who is doing that?

obviously you didnt read a thing I said or understand it. :shrug:
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What?? Your sexond sentence addressed exactly that.
 
MaggieD said:
What?? Your sexond sentence addressed exactly that.
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No it doesnt do that in anyway shape of form what so ever.

Theres zero talk about blackmail in my post nor is there anything in there about blocking visitation based on nonpayment. How do you come up with this stuff?
 
About a friend's family.

Her Dad got behind in child support.

Her Mom told her Dad "let my new husband adopt her and you won't have to pay the back child support."

Her Dad was laid up with a bad back and could not work.

So he did it.

Small town. The daughter would visit with her Dad several times a week on the way to or from school.

When she was 15, she told Mom "I am going over whenever I want, or you and I are going to court."
 
AGENT J said:
No it doesnt do that in anyway shape of form what so ever.

Theres zero talk about blackmail in my post nor is there anything in there about blocking visitation based on nonpayment. How do you come up with this stuff?
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I know a lot of moms don't because child support is an easier path to visitation rights
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And what you meant by this quote is...?
 
MaggieD said:
And what you meant by this quote is...?
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exactly what it says. a lot of moms dont do it because its an easier path to visitation.

where do you see blackmail at? (there is none)

where do you see blocking visitation because of nonpayment? (no payments are required so the concept of nonpayment doesn't even exist)

How you can ever arrive to such a conclusion and illogical jump is beyond me. There little nothign in my post that supports your assumptions.
 
SenorXm/Sirius said:
Which usually involves child support and alimony? No?

Maybe I'm nit picking but if the man is in court saying he will pay if the child needs something. Are the women refusing the help? It doesn't seem to add up.
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The problem is when they don't pay what they agree to in the divorce. Then the custodial parent has to go to court for enforcement. PITA and costs money.
 
MaggieD said:
I hear of so many women who don't take dads to family court to firm up child support. Shame on them! I often watch court shows, and the guy inevitably says, "If my child needs something, I will pay for it."

That merely puts mom in the position of having to ask for money and justify it. Child support is the right of the child... why don't moms make it formal?
Click to expand...
Courts are already pretty tough on deadbeat dad's, not to mention society. Next...

Sent from my Z833 using Tapatalk
 
AGENT J said:
exactly what it says. a lot of moms dont do it because its an easier path to visitation.

where do you see blackmail at? (there is none)

where do you see blocking visitation because of nonpayment? (no payments are required so the concept of nonpayment doesn't even exist)

How you can ever arrive to such a conclusion and illogical jump is beyond me. There little nothign in my post that supports your assumptions.
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Maggie D is right and you are wrong. End of story. I won't reply to this part of the thread from now on.
 
JamesBY said:
Maggie D is right and you are wrong. End of story. I won't reply to this part of the thread from now on.
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Doesn't matter what you think facts prove both of you wrong :shrug:
Disagree? simply qoute where the blackmail is or where the hold out because of nonpayment is, i'd love to read it. You wont cause you cant. lol
:popcorn2:
 
AGENT J said:
Doesn't matter what you think facts prove both of you wrong :shrug:
Disagree? simply qoute where the blackmail is or where the hold out because of nonpayment is, i'd love to read it. You wont cause you cant. lol
:popcorn2:
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I think I understand what you were saying because it's something my husbands ex did. She did not file for child support because she didn't want him to have better visitation rights. He even tried working with the state to get on it but was denied because the mother has to file.
 
americanwoman said:
I think I understand what you were saying because it's something my husbands ex did. She did not file for child support because she didn't want him to have better visitation rights. He even tried working with the state to get on it but was denied because the mother has to file.
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The mom doesnt have to file for him to get them but it does make the path easier. If you are already in court then it just simply gets addressed. If a father is paying, then the question is simply asked why doesnt he have visitation. If none of that happens it typically means lawyer and multiple things need done.
 
AGENT J said:
The mom doesnt have to file for him to get them but it does make the path easier. If you are already in court then it just simply gets addressed. If a father is paying, then the question is simply asked why doesnt he have visitation. If none of that happens it typically means lawyer and multiple things need done.
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Single moms already have a tough enough time as it is. It's not the single mom that something is wrong, it's the supporting cast.

People in America today need help. A fair economic opportunity would be nice.

Love you my single mom. Peace.

Sent from my Z833 using Tapatalk
 
Dirt Sands said:
Single moms already have a tough enough time as it is. It's not the single mom that something is wrong, it's the supporting cast.

People in America today need help. A fair economic opportunity would be nice.

Love you my single mom. Peace.

Sent from my Z833 using Tapatalk
Click to expand...

not sure what your post has to do with mine but I agree with it <shrug>
 
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