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Spying on your kids

Lutherf said:
Let's say, speaking purely hypothetically, that you've got a teenager or two and you're noticing some attitude changes. You don't want to breach the trust you have spent so long establishing with your kids but you've got a feeling that things aren't quite right. You happen to be an expert hacker who could, if you wanted to, hack your kid's phone and online history with no possibility of being detected but you're a responsible parent and would never stoop to that level of distrust. You choose, instead, to hack the phones and online history of all your kid's friends just to make sure that they aren't causing any trouble. You figure that if your kids friends are OK then your kids are probably OK. Also, if your kid's messages happen to get caught up in the data collection that's not really something you did and, therefore, it's not spying.....right?
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Is this some veiled attempt to say that Obama was directly spying on Trump?
 
Kal'Stang said:
If you play your cards right early in their life it won't ever come up. ;) Best thing to do is pretend like you know everything that they do whether they're near you or not. Get a few friends to tell you what they see them doing...without letting them know that they are being seen. They'll wonder how you knew what they were doing. Simply say either ":shrug: I'm daddy" or "a little bird told me". Then while they are home listen to what they are doing...then pounce on what they're doing without turning around. (when they're doing something wrong of course) They get so amazed that I didn't even turn around and yet still know what they're doing. I also use the fact that kids are fairly predictable so I essentially know what they're thinking too at times. That gets them ruffled a bit also. ;)

Right now my kids are dead certain that I actually DO know everything they are doing no matter what. This will of course become harder once they're older. That's when the spying will come in and because of the ground work I've laid out I can still use the same ploy.

Ages btw is 9 for the youngest, and the oldest will be 12 in May.
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IDK, we always just went with the route of just asking them. Our 26yo visited us a couple of weeks ago and we took him for a few beers, dinner and conversation (and we'll talk about anything). He actually told us his mom and I are some of the only people he completely trusts. Long route to get there but totally worth it.
 
Keeping track of your own kids is expected. Google just updated their app that allows you to track their cell phone in real time. It's been part of Apple's apps for a long time. You not only can do it, you need to do it, or at least have the option to do it if you think you need to. But that's your own kids. You have no legal, ethical or moral ability to track someone else's kids and are possibly committing a crime by trying. What other people's kids do is none of your damn business.
 
Ikari said:
Is this some veiled attempt to say that Obama was directly spying on Trump?
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No. It's a veiled attempt to suggest how Obama may have been indirectly spying on Trump.
 
My parents spied on at one point.

They stopped when they realized I was a boring.
 
Kal'Stang said:
If you play your cards right early in their life it won't ever come up. ;) Best thing to do is pretend like you know everything that they do whether they're near you or not. Get a few friends to tell you what they see them doing...without letting them know that they are being seen. They'll wonder how you knew what they were doing. Simply say either ":shrug: I'm daddy" or "a little bird told me". Then while they are home listen to what they are doing...then pounce on what they're doing without turning around. (when they're doing something wrong of course) They get so amazed that I didn't even turn around and yet still know what they're doing. I also use the fact that kids are fairly predictable so I essentially know what they're thinking too at times. That gets them ruffled a bit also. ;)

Right now my kids are dead certain that I actually DO know everything they are doing no matter what. This will of course become harder once they're older. That's when the spying will come in and because of the ground work I've laid out I can still use the same ploy.

Ages btw is 9 for the youngest, and the oldest will be 12 in May.
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Excellent advice and I agree wholeheartedly.

However she is an a adult now and I am a senior citizens. From the result it appears we didn't make many mistakes at least no serious ones.
 
Depends on the child and the situation. I am generally inclined against it for multiple reasons, but there could be situations when something was so off kilter that a parent needs to be more proactive. Screwing up and getting yourself out of your situations yourself is part of growing up. Kids are too micro-managed. Giving them their space to scheme and plot to keep from getting caught will benefit them more than catching them in everything they do.
 
I have the authority to wiretap my children, because I actually own the phone.

Anyone texting them will be sending information that I will incidentally collect.
 
Lutherf said:
Let's say, speaking purely hypothetically, that you've got a teenager or two and you're noticing some attitude changes. You don't want to breach the trust you have spent so long establishing with your kids but you've got a feeling that things aren't quite right. You happen to be an expert hacker who could, if you wanted to, hack your kid's phone and online history with no possibility of being detected but you're a responsible parent and would never stoop to that level of distrust. You choose, instead, to hack the phones and online history of all your kid's friends just to make sure that they aren't causing any trouble. You figure that if your kids friends are OK then your kids are probably OK. Also, if your kid's messages happen to get caught up in the data collection that's not really something you did and, therefore, it's not spying.....right?
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A parent that trusts a teenager is not responsible.

It will be my responsibility to know what my kid is doing and who he is doing it with when he reaches that age.

No excuses and he will know it up front not to pull crap.
 
Goshin said:
I have zero shame about this. IMHO if you're not spying your ass off on your teens you're not doing your utmost to parent well.


Just don't get caught.
:)
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Why do you have a problem with the kid knowing you are spying?

It will keep them in line, or make it harder for you to know, which is a lot more work than most of them want to go through.
 
Mason66 said:
Why do you have a problem with the kid knowing you are spying?

It will keep them in line, or make it harder for you to know, which is a lot more work than most of them want to go through.
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Need to maintain a mysterious aura of unexplainable omniscience. :)
 
Why not, the DHS does it already
 
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