Divorced Fathers

How do you think you were treated by the judicial system? Has your child support payments put you at an economic disadvantage compared to your ex? Have you lost your home? What do you think should be done differently if anything?

c0wardlyli0n said:

How do you think you were treated by the judicial system? Has your child support payments put you at an economic disadvantage compared to your ex? Have you lost your home? What do you think should be done differently if anything?

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The only issue I had was that if someone is married and has children and loses their job the budget gets cut during that time, but when a parent, father or mother, that is paying child support loses their job the payments do not reduce and they will even take the UE benefits. That is neither logical or fair.

Casper said:

The only issue I had was that if someone is married and has children and loses their job the budget gets cut during that time, but when a parent, father or mother, that is paying child support loses their job the payments do not reduce and they will even take the UE benefits. That is neither logical or fair.

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I agree that is certainly unfair.

I think there should be some oversight. The money is taken after taxes from one person and given tax-free to the other without any sort of monitoring of those funds.

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c0wardlyli0n said:

How do you think you were treated by the judicial system? Has your child support payments put you at an economic disadvantage compared to your ex? Have you lost your home? What do you think should be done differently if anything?

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My only concern is that the non-custodial parent, male or female, be treated equally under the law.

Now it is true that in a divorce or abandonment it is usually the mother who keeps the children. Thus men end up paying the child support. But in those cases where the woman gives up her parental duties she should be held to the same standard of fiscal responsibility.

c0wardlyli0n said:

I think there should be some oversight. The money is taken after taxes from one person and given tax-free to the other without any sort of monitoring of those funds.

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....and this is different from situations with couples who remain married in what way?

Whomever is the bread winner in a happily or not-so happily married couple, their income is also taxed and the remaining balance is then used to take care of normal family expenses. Including food, clothing, shelter shared by all members of the family unit.

Captain Adverse said:

My only concern is that the non-custodial parent, male or female, be treated equally under the law.

Now it is true that in a divorce or abandonment it is usually the mother who keeps the children. Thus men end up paying the child support. But in those cases where the woman gives up her parental duties she should be held to the same standard of fiscal responsibility.



....and this is different from situations with couples who remain married in what way?

Whomever is the bread winner in a happily or not-so happily married couple, their income is also taxed and the remaining balance is then used to take care of normal family expenses. Including food, clothing, shelter shared by all members of the family unit.

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It's different because a set percentage of income is taken regardless of whether there is a need to spend that much on the child week to week. When a couple is married, they decide what to spend, hopefully in a responsible manner, based on what is needed by the children. After divorce, this changes.

Things may have changed by now. I didn't like that the Guardian Ad Litem wouldn't take a personal check. I had to go to the bank for a cashiers check once a month.

One time I lost the envelope that had their address on it. There is no contacting the GAL. Fortunately, I found that the envelope had got stuck behind my drawer. You really just send payment to a P.O. box. I did find out the lawyer's name and city when I got served papers suing me for $40,000.

The ex and I didn't want to use the system, but we got a judge that insisted we would. It's like being on probation for 15 years. We have two children (adults now), so we figured that we would half the child support after the oldest turned 18. The youngest is eight years younger. The 40G was for the other half for that time period.

I received no notice, letter, or anything from this mysterious attorney. Just a visit from the Constable serving me papers after the youngest turned 18. So I had to hire a lawyer to get out of that mess. So the ex signed a document that said that we were both in agreement about the payments that I had made (I was pleased). But then she decided that I needed to pay her new husband over $5,200 because he had paid for the kids health insurance. I looked in the decree and it was stated that we had to split the HC. Well, I covered them for the first 7.5 years of the 15, so I ignored letters from her attorney. It was dropped. Probably after the attorney read the same passage in the decree that I did.

Divorce isn't easy. I wasn't going to let marriage happen to me again. Then I proposed to my current wife after a 9 year courtship. We have been married for 15 years now. We also don't have children between us.

Divorce is messy. Divorce with children is tragic.

c0wardlyli0n said:

How do you think you were treated by the judicial system? Has your child support payments put you at an economic disadvantage compared to your ex? Have you lost your home? What do you think should be done differently if anything?

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I've never been divorced but have had to deal with more divorced people and their finances than I care to. Pretty common for both sides in a divorce to perceive they've gotten screwed. Ugly business.