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Esteban

Glowpun

Glowpun

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Will give this a shot.

A close friend of mine had a friend "Esteban" who he had known since college days. They at one time were close friends, but over time they each went their separate ways but kept in touch and maintained some kind of social relationship.

"Esteban" eventually got a job in another state. My friend told him that if/when he visited his old home area he was welcome to stay with him with the admonition that my friend be given at least two weeks notice due to the nature of his work.

It turns out "Esteban" would tell my friend he was going to show up at his doorstep in two days time. This of course annoyed my friend who made it clear to "Esteban" this was not going to work.

My friend showed me "Esteban's" text telling him they were parting ways because my friend was now in different circles. "Esteban" stated in his text that he was testing my friend about their relationship BUT had no intention of staying with my friend whenever he was in the area.

What do you think about "Esteban"? Since when does a friend test a friend on their relationship?
 
Glowpun said:
Will give this a shot.

A close friend of mine had a friend "Esteban" who he had known since college days. They at one time were close friends, but over time they each went their separate ways but kept in touch and maintained some kind of social relationship.

"Esteban" eventually got a job in another state. My friend told him that if/when he visited his old home area he was welcome to stay with him with the admonition that my friend be given at least two weeks notice due to the nature of his work.

It turns out "Esteban" would tell my friend he was going to show up at his doorstep in two days time. This of course annoyed my friend who made it clear to "Esteban" this was not going to work.

My friend showed me "Esteban's" text telling him they were parting ways because my friend was now in different circles. "Esteban" stated in his text that he was testing my friend about their relationship BUT had no intention of staying with my friend whenever he was in the area.

What do you think about "Esteban"? Since when does a friend test a friend on their relationship?
Click to expand...

People test/push/pull each other all the time if they are ever going to amount to anything, this causes us to get better, but in this case your so-called Esteban went over my line.

I had a situation with my HS friend Greg where we had a running argument for about three weeks which was long for us and then after I beat him he said that he had just taken a position because he thought that it would be a fun argument to have, he did not believe all that stuff he said. When the rules of the game were that we would say what ever we thought was true and that we would not let disagreements get in the way of our friendship.

In my opinion he broke the rules, which was also his opinion, but in his opinion this was no big thing, but to me the dishonesty was.

We were never the same after that.
 
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Glowpun said:
Will give this a shot.

A close friend of mine had a friend "Esteban" who he had known since college days. They at one time were close friends, but over time they each went their separate ways but kept in touch and maintained some kind of social relationship.

"Esteban" eventually got a job in another state. My friend told him that if/when he visited his old home area he was welcome to stay with him with the admonition that my friend be given at least two weeks notice due to the nature of his work.

It turns out "Esteban" would tell my friend he was going to show up at his doorstep in two days time. This of course annoyed my friend who made it clear to "Esteban" this was not going to work.

My friend showed me "Esteban's" text telling him they were parting ways because my friend was now in different circles. "Esteban" stated in his text that he was testing my friend about their relationship BUT had no intention of staying with my friend whenever he was in the area.

What do you think about "Esteban"? Since when does a friend test a friend on their relationship?
Click to expand...

In my experience there are different levels of friendship, but "best friends" don't have any "limits."

I have two best friends I've known for over 30 years. These are people I can count on for anything, and they can count on me for anything.

If either simply showed up at my door I would welcome them in and adjust to the situation, and they have proven the same loyalty to me.

IMO this "Esteban" was testing the limits of your "friend's" friendship, and determined he could not be counted on in that way.

So he has simply adjusted your "friend" to the lower level of old-school buddy type "friendship" with no expectations and no obligation to reciprocate.
 
Chicks, right?



;)
 
Captain Adverse said:
In my experience there are different levels of friendship, but "best friends" don't have any "limits."

I have two best friends I've known for over 30 years. These are people I can count on for anything, and they can count on me for anything.

If either simply showed up at my door I would welcome them in and adjust to the situation, and they have proven the same loyalty to me.

IMO this "Esteban" was testing the limits of your "friend's" friendship, and determined he could not be counted on in that way.

So he has simply adjusted your "friend" to the lower level of old-school buddy type "friendship" with no expectations and no obligation to reciprocate.
Click to expand...

"Esteban" from what I know has always been self-centered. He knew his friend's job at times takes him out of town (overnight), but that did not matter to him. You're looking at a guy who missed a flight because he just couldn't get his hair combed the way he wanted it!
 
Glowpun said:
"Esteban" from what I know has always been self-centered. He knew his friend's job at times takes him out of town (overnight), but that did not matter to him. You're looking at a guy who missed a flight because he just couldn't get his hair combed the way he wanted it!
Click to expand...

Ahhh, so defensive. :wassat1:

You asked for opinions on the topic. I gave you one such.

If you don't want honest opinions, then don't ask for them. :coffeepap:
 
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