Idiots of the year awards, nominations!!

Here in this thread we can nominate people we feel are worthy of the idiot of the year 2015 award.

My first nomination is this one:

As yet unnamed 29 year old man from Germany who had the brilliant idea to get some extra cash for the upcoming new years day celebrations (or some other insane reason) and together with 2 other men he decided to blow up a condom machine with an as yet unknown explosive. They were very successful in their attempt to blow it up, too successful in fact because the 29 year old man was killed when he was struck with metal pieces that were catapulted from the metal box the condom dispenser was housed in.

His 2 accomplices managed to get the man to a hospital (not being smart enough to just call an ambulance) and lied to the hospital staff that he just fell of some stairs. The hospital staff did not believe this fib and called the police. There the 2 remaining thieves sang like little jail birds and came clean about what they did.

The police picked up the loot which was 14 euro's in change an a lot of condom packages strewn all over the place.

The way the culprit died after they lit the fuse on their explosive charge and ran for cover in their car, the first 2 managed to get inside the car but the third one (the deceased one) did not manage to close the passenger door and was struck by a piece of metal that was blasted from the condom machine and he was struck right in the head. He lost consciousness immediately and died in hospital.


I nominate this unknown German for idiot of the year, due to pure stupidity over the method and the target they choose to blow up (a condom machine, like there is a lot of money in such a thing).

I am curious to see what other candidates we get, after the biggest idiots are nominated I might just make an opinion poll so we can truly vote for biggest idiot of the year.

ah, a "hold my beer, and watch this thread" :beer:

I love these threads :bravo:

_Sal said:

ah, a "hold my beer, and watch this thread" :beer:

I love these threads :bravo:

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Ditto. I imagine that when the Darwin awards come out, that it'll be added to the thread. Those are always good too.

eohrnberger said:

Ditto. I imagine that when the Darwin awards come out, that it'll be added to the thread. Those are always good too.

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yes I love them too, adults from the shallow end of the gene pool can be quite entertaining

I like black humour...sue me. :lol:

America's Funniest Home Videos has a lot of examples. I think my favorite is the brain trust who tried to fire a high powered rifle by holding the butt of the gun a few inches from his forehead. The result, of course, was predictable.

Dittohead not! said:

America's Funniest Home Videos has a lot of examples. I think my favorite is the brain trust who tried to fire a high powered rifle by holding the butt of the gun a few inches from his forehead. The result, of course, was predictable.

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Well, I think ridiculousness is even a bigger show showing absolute idiots doing absolutely idiotic things.

in b4 obama!

I nominate Angela Merkel, who will through pure idiocy manage to kill off her nation of 80 million people. Wir Schaffen Das.

Natan said:

I nominate Angela Merkel, who will through pure idiocy manage to kill off her nation of 80 million people. Wir Schaffen Das.

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This is not a political thread, especially not with Merkel who I respect for her brave choices (even though I disagree with her on most issues). And if you do not want to get banned give the translation of what you write (Wir Schaffen Das - stands for - We will get it done).

And also, no other member of this forum can be named for this category (even though some might think some, including me I am sure, are worthy of that title).

This nominee picked the wrong victim.


Victim, 73, kicks purse thief in groin, deputies say | WFLA.com

ObamacareFail said:

This nominee picked the wrong victim.

Victim, 73, kicks purse thief in groin, deputies say | WFLA.com

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May the purse thief have suffered 2 bruised nuts and maybe he will no longer be able to reproduce, because he sounds like a coward and someone whose genes must have come from the shallow end of the gene pool. Or maybe that is even not low enough for his gene pool, maybe his genes came from the toddler paddling pool of genes.

Well, not quite Darwin Awards, but pretty close.

Well, I have the first nominee (IMHO) for the combined 2015/2016 award (because I started so late with the thread):

61 year old man from Helmond destroys/wrecks tree to save a drone he flew into the tree.

A 61 year old man from Helmond took extremely drastic measures to save his drone which he flew into a tree. He took a big saw and sawed off several trees which completely destroyed the tree.

The man from Helmond was playing with his drone Sunday afternoon (January 10th 2016) when his drone got caught in a tree on the Burgemeester Sweensstraat (burgemeester means mayor and straat means of course street). Because the man really wanted his drone back, he decided to start sawing up the tree branches until he was able to free his drone.

A witness however called the police. The incident was brought to the attention of city hall in Helmond, because the trees are property of the town. They then filed a police report with the police for destruction of town property.

Fine
The man will be fined several hundreds of dollars. "A fine that will most likely be much higher than the price he paid for the drone when he bought it new", according to a spokesperson from City Hall.

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This is my first entry, being a 61 year old with a drone is a bit "age inappropriate" (according to a lot of people), flying it into the tree was stupid, destroying a tree you do not own to save that drone is even more stupid. A true idiot of the year nominee IMHO.

Another person I want to nominate is Hilda from Oranje who came into fame last year for being a fool to most and a hero to some. I am one of the people who think she behaved like an idiot and thus is a worthy candidate.

First some information that you need up front. Earlier this year the government had planned to put more people up in an emergency asylum seeker center. To answer questions of the angry locals, the under secretary of the ministry of the interior/justice department took the trouble to come to the small village to explain what was going to happen. The mood darkened in the small town and some locals had parked cars across the road to prevent the undersecretary from leaving so his driver made a U-turn and made his way to another road out of town. There some local called Hilda stepped in front of the driving car and put her hands on the car trying to prevent the car from leaving and thus endangering the undersecretary, she stood there with a sheepish smile on her face and crowed "a big fat BMW people, a big fat BMW" while from the other side members of the mob that had tried to prevent the car from leaving where coming up from behind.

A police officer took the woman by the arm and said she needed to move herself. She pulled away, shouted no and fell, looking like a beached whale (and I am just as obese as her, maybe even more) and started kicking out with her feet, almost getting under the wheels of the car. Protesters from the mob reached the car just as it drove away, kicking at the car and cursing.

This video is from the moment she fell.



From what one can see there is no real damage there and if anything happened it most likely came from her throwing her arms around because the hold the officer had on her was not that extreme but the next day she suddenly was in hospital needing surgery on her elbow:



She in fact was operated on three times, because he elbow had been broken and the tendons, etc. had been torn as well. She has filed a police report against the officer who pulled her away from the car for causing her bodily harm.

She also said that she had expected a get well card from the undersecretary, she did not want an apology because it would not have been sincere so she did not want one.

To me this person is totally to blame for her own problems, she illegally hindered traffic, she endangered a member of the government by her actions and clearly resisted an officer who gently took her by the arm to lead her away from the car, the she then resisted/fell is totally her own doing and I do not think the officer will be prosecuted because I cannot see him doing anything illegal. He was more worried about her getting her feet under the car when she kicked out her feet.

Got a new nomination, from a Dutch newspaper:

Woman struggles with kittens and crashes.

ZANDHUIZEN - A remarkable accident in the Frisian village of Zandhuizen. A woman crashed into a tree with considerable force because she was wrestling with a box full of young kittens.

During the car drive the kittens escaped from the box, which was on the lap of the driver. When the woman, while continuing to drive, tried to wrestle the kittens back into the box, it all went horribly wrong. She drove her car off the road and ended up crashing into a tree at some considerable speed. Ambulance staff treated the woman. The kittens escaped without harm. In the back of her car was also a baby. The baby also escaped injury.

Top 10 stupidest thieves. Here's one:

1. Showing off your booty

Charles Taylor of Wichita, Kansas, was arrested for robbing a shoe store at knifepoint and stealing a $69 pair of size 10 1/2 tan hiking boots on December 18, 1996. At his trial, three months later, Taylor arrogantly rested his feet on the defence table. He was wearing a pair of size 10 1/2 tan hiking boots. The judge, James Fleetwood, was incredulous. ‘I leaned over and stared,’ he later said. ‘Surely nobody would be so stupid as to wear the boots he stole to his trial.’ But it turned out one person was that stupid. Taylor was convicted of aggravated robbery and sent back to jail in his stockinged feet.

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Dittohead not! said:

Top 10 stupidest thieves. Here's one:

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What a bunch of morons, all of them deserved to sit in jail, not only for their crimes but also for their biggest crime of all, being total and utter idiots.

Peter King said:

What a bunch of morons, all of them deserved to sit in jail, not only for their crimes but also for their biggest crime of all, being total and utter idiots.

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At least their stories are amusing.

Dittohead not! said:

At least their stories are amusing.

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For us yes, for them and their victims not so much.

A new nominee.

This time we have a name, Jenny Davies, a woman who is the habitual target by her boyfriend/fiancee pranks but this time he videotaped her about the Brexit (and part of the reason why the poorly educated voted to leave the EU, no doubt about that one).

He asked her what she was going to vote:

She said: "One, I don't want to have to watch the Euros next year, football, cause obviously England wont be in it.

"My other reason is purely based on the fact that I ain't got to walk down the shop and buy six eggs anymore.

"I'm going to go to Farmer John and I am going to watch my chicken make my egg and I am going to bring it home and I am going to have eggy soldiers.

"Or I'm going to have a nice friend egg and it ain't going to crack cause it has come from a good chicken.

She then discusses with comedian Holmes that eggs from Europe crack because they're from "bad chickens". Whereas if she goes to John, she can get a good egg.

Jenny then explains that the only "fact" that almost halted her decision was that she "won't be able to go to Disneyland Paris anymore cause of the borders".

She added: "If I vote out yeah, and it happens, we're out, I can't go Disneyland Paris and see Mickey and Minnie.

"Because the borders will be shut Brad, so I'll be stuck so I'll have to go to Chessington."

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Peter King said:

Here in this thread we can nominate people we feel are worthy of the idiot of the year 2015 award.

My first nomination is this one:

As yet unnamed 29 year old man from Germany who had the brilliant idea to get some extra cash for the upcoming new years day celebrations (or some other insane reason) and together with 2 other men he decided to blow up a condom machine with an as yet unknown explosive. They were very successful in their attempt to blow it up, too successful in fact because the 29 year old man was killed when he was struck with metal pieces that were catapulted from the metal box the condom dispenser was housed in.

His 2 accomplices managed to get the man to a hospital (not being smart enough to just call an ambulance) and lied to the hospital staff that he just fell of some stairs. The hospital staff did not believe this fib and called the police. There the 2 remaining thieves sang like little jail birds and came clean about what they did.

The police picked up the loot which was 14 euro's in change an a lot of condom packages strewn all over the place.

The way the culprit died after they lit the fuse on their explosive charge and ran for cover in their car, the first 2 managed to get inside the car but the third one (the deceased one) did not manage to close the passenger door and was struck by a piece of metal that was blasted from the condom machine and he was struck right in the head. He lost consciousness immediately and died in hospital.


I nominate this unknown German for idiot of the year, due to pure stupidity over the method and the target they choose to blow up (a condom machine, like there is a lot of money in such a thing).

I am curious to see what other candidates we get, after the biggest idiots are nominated I might just make an opinion poll so we can truly vote for biggest idiot of the year.

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Not even close. A man I knew, and did business with, was drinking with three buddies. There was an argument and one of the men pulled a gun and shot the sucked right between the eyes. Boom, down he went. A short while later, he came to. He heard them talking, remembered getting shot, so he didn't move. They were discussing where they could get a chainsaw to cut him up. As they talked they drank more and one of the guys started talking about "good ole Cline" and pretty soon all three were crying about their recently departed friend.

So, he popped up and said, "I'm not dead."
The man who had shot him pulled his gun and said, "I have to kill you now or I'll go to prison." The brilliant group worked out a story. Much better than falling down stairs. They took Cline to the emergency room and sat outside waiting.

"I was riding in the back of the pickup and we turned a corner kind of quick and I fell out and landed on a pointy rock and got this hole."
The doctor nodded and said, "And the powder burns?"

It turned out Cline head had been tilted back a bit and the bullet tunneled up over his hard head, across the top, and was still lodged in the back.

He lived and the band of brothers was broken up. My business? I was a cop. I did a lot of business with people who were sure they were always the smartest person in the room.

Well, there was also the rapist who decided to force his victim to perform a Bill Clinton on him. When the Sheriff's Deputy arrived the woman was having coffee in the kitchen, the man was gone, and the deputy said there was blood on the bed, all four walls of the bedroom, and on the ceiling. The rapist showed up at the hospital the next day saying he'd gotten his penis caught in his zipper.

Patrickt said:

Not even close. A man I knew, and did business with, was drinking with three buddies. There was an argument and one of the men pulled a gun and shot the sucked right between the eyes. Boom, down he went. A short while later, he came to. He heard them talking, remembered getting shot, so he didn't move. They were discussing where they could get a chainsaw to cut him up. As they talked they drank more and one of the guys started talking about "good ole Cline" and pretty soon all three were crying about their recently departed friend.

So, he popped up and said, "I'm not dead."
The man who had shot him pulled his gun and said, "I have to kill you now or I'll go to prison." The brilliant group worked out a story. Much better than falling down stairs. They took Cline to the emergency room and sat outside waiting.

"I was riding in the back of the pickup and we turned a corner kind of quick and I fell out and landed on a pointy rock and got this hole."
The doctor nodded and said, "And the powder burns?"

It turned out Cline head had been tilted back a bit and the bullet tunneled up over his hard head, across the top, and was still lodged in the back.

He lived and the band of brothers was broken up. My business? I was a cop. I did a lot of business with people who were sure they were always the smartest person in the room.

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Nothing like a little alcohol to clarify the thought process.

Dittohead not! said:

Nothing like a little alcohol to clarify the thought process.

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It's rather like all those folks who drive better after a few drinks. A few more and they race car drivers. At one point we had a list of questions we were required to read to drunken drivers and record their answers. One question was, "What city are you in?"
"Cheyenne?"
"Nope."
"Denver?"
"Nope."
"Boulder?"
"Nope, and it's not a multiple choice question."