To you grunts out there...MRE coffee...I feel your pain.

Being a squid, I had never had the "pleasure" of sampling MRE coffee until zero dark thirty today.

I was going through some stuff to take to a "swap or buy" with my outdoor camping group and discovered an MRE STAR packet i had squirreled away for the Zombie Apocalypse.

Pinto bean stew with ham. It was actually very good. The huge, devoid of salt crackers were not bad either, and the sugar cookies were so-so.
Then i tried the coffee. This stuff should be banned on humanitarian grounds.

I put 8oz of boiling water in a cup, put in the packet of coffee and it dissovled nicely. Then i put in the packet (only one) of sugar...no problem.
Then the "cream'....more accurately described as chalk dust from a 50's classroom. Almost none of it dissolved, but just floated on top in big and little chunks.

OK, I had come this far, so let's have a drink.

)*&*&^%$#%$%^&&)(*_)(*(*&^*^%$^#))()(*&*&%$

is an accurate description of what my mouth and taste buds were telling me.

Every coffee maker in the world should give you a lifetime card for free coffee anywhere you grunts may go in the world.
You have earned it.

It's caffeine. If a powder doesn't dissolve in hot water, try a little cold water then mix the paste.

I'd rather eat MREs for weeks than ride a metal boat in the middle of the ocean.

PleasantValley said:

Being a squid, I had never had the "pleasure" of sampling MRE coffee until zero dark thirty today.

I was going through some stuff to take to a "swap or buy" with my outdoor camping group and discovered an MRE STAR packet i had squirreled away for the Zombie Apocalypse.

Pinto bean stew with ham. It was actually very good. The huge, devoid of salt crackers were not bad either, and the sugar cookies were so-so.
Then i tried the coffee. This stuff should be banned on humanitarian grounds.

I put 8oz of boiling water in a cup, put in the packet of coffee and it dissovled nicely. Then i put in the packet (only one) of sugar...no problem.
Then the "cream'....more accurately described as chalk dust from a 50's classroom. Almost none of it dissolved, but just floated on top in big and little chunks.

OK, I had come this far, so let's have a drink.

)*&*&^%$#%$%^&&)(*_)(*(*&^*^%$^#))()(*&*&%$

is an accurate description of what my mouth and taste buds were telling me.

Every coffee maker in the world should give you a lifetime card for free coffee anywhere you grunts may go in the world.
You have earned it.

Click to expand...

Retired Navy here. Being from the MS Delta, I honestly thought the food in boot camp - and even on our ships - was pretty doggone good. Heck, when I was on a supply ship, it was normal for us to get freaking Alaskan king crab legs every few months or so (not kidding - I've still got a scar on my left hand from my first try at opening a crab leg while in the First Class Mess, thus earning several years' worth of ridicule whenever crab legs were served). And when I was on a sub tender, I found out that yeah, the guys on the subs eat pretty doggone well, too.

So in my experience squids have it really good when it comes to food - three square meals a day plus MidRats (though I never did like the powdered eggs and I utterly despised the sterilized milk - that stuff was rancid - but I never saw it again after 1986). And - unlike Marines and soldiers - we pretty much always have a warm (if noisy) place to sleep and a place to keep all our crap.

Life in the Navy, then, is not bad at all. It's got its challenges, such as being in some ways more industrial than military, and being completely surrounded by metal and technology 24/7 while deployed...but overall, not bad at all.

As a former Airborne Infantryman with a 15 month deployment behind me I can say I've eaten close to a thousand MREs over the years. Honestly no instant coffee will ever taste amazing, but really all that matters is that it's caffeine. We used to pack it behind our lower lips like dip as it's quick and the caffeine hits hard when you do it that way.

RabidAlpaca said:

We used to pack it behind our lower lips like dip as it's quick and the caffeine hits hard when you do it that way.

Click to expand...

"Creamer didn't work" is funny.

'Sir, it's not for coffee, it's for the diesel-dirt stove.' Quite flammable.


Edit: For those who lacked humvees or hill billies: A diesel dirt stove is mixing diesel and dirt in a small hole and lighting it to heat a metal cup.

PleasantValley said:

Being a squid, I had never had the "pleasure" of sampling MRE coffee until zero dark thirty today.

I was going through some stuff to take to a "swap or buy" with my outdoor camping group and discovered an MRE STAR packet i had squirreled away for the Zombie Apocalypse.

Pinto bean stew with ham. It was actually very good. The huge, devoid of salt crackers were not bad either, and the sugar cookies were so-so.
Then i tried the coffee. This stuff should be banned on humanitarian grounds.

I put 8oz of boiling water in a cup, put in the packet of coffee and it dissovled nicely. Then i put in the packet (only one) of sugar...no problem.
Then the "cream'....more accurately described as chalk dust from a 50's classroom. Almost none of it dissolved, but just floated on top in big and little chunks.

OK, I had come this far, so let's have a drink.

)*&*&^%$#%$%^&&)(*_)(*(*&^*^%$^#))()(*&*&%$

is an accurate description of what my mouth and taste buds were telling me.

Every coffee maker in the world should give you a lifetime card for free coffee anywhere you grunts may go in the world.
You have earned it.

Click to expand...

The best thing out of those MREs was the chocolate.. and that isn't saying much.

I got one with a fruit salad in it once. That or it was a blown out diaper, none of us could really decide on first glance.

Wow, I didn't think anything could be worse than standard American coffee. My commiserations.

Never had MREs. C rations were the field food. Army 72-75, worst was Lima beans and Ham (Ham & Claymores), best was Beans & Franks. Always included not enough striking paper and a four pack of Pall Malls. Many boxes were dated from the 1940s. When the field kitchen was deployed, chow was very good.

Obesity wuz not an issue back in the day. Grunts in my unit during conscription were trim if not powerful every one, but neither were they obese. This was true of regulars and draftees both, career hackers or the one-term wonders such as myself, to include officers, nco and below.

Army grub which is what it wuz such as **** on a shingle didn't make grunts bigger or smaller. It just made 'em run faster. Scrambled eggs that looked like a yellow gob and tasted like it got swilled down but only with a stoic silence. Coffee wuz coffee. On post the coffee was scalding and in the field it was like flavored dishwater. The good ol' dayze for sure they were.

I dunno about today but back then officers had to pay for each meal. Certainly where I was (Ft. Myer next to Pentagon and Arlington National Cemetery). You can take my word for it no company officer thought for a moment the slop wuz fit for a Russian soup kitchen never mind the American Army. So the company officers always avoided paying. The Lt boys were the worst but never mind while no one asked the captain company commander to cash up. The cq had to collect from the officers in the morning and the orderly had to do it for noon and supper. The company officers stiffed each guy every time -- or as much as they could get away with. Whether the guy was cq or orderly he had to produce the bucks to the 1stSgt for each company officer who ate at each meal. So each grunt had to pay out of pocket for the officers who slipped away from the officers mess room. Back then an E-5 made $250 bucks a month while a 1Lt made $350, so the whole scheme based on TIS was seriously out of whack to begin with. Vietnam war and all that. I didn't go because I didn't have to go over there unless I volunteered and we all know about volunteering.

Thx to the OP for his hilarious post btw.



(Grunts trying to scold OP about military cream and coffee and cold water and the like might need a good dose packet of military justice by a board of E-3. With an E-7 as chairman ha.)

Rexedgar said:

Never had MREs. C rations were the field food. Army 72-75, worst was Lima beans and Ham (Ham & Claymores), best was Beans & Franks. Always included not enough striking paper and a four pack of Pall Malls. Many boxes were dated from the 1940s. When the field kitchen was deployed, chow was very good.

Click to expand...

Army 66-70 and uni Rotc 62-66. Dunno about youse guyz but we figured C rations were surplus from Nazi pow camps. Also found out why Army called hardtack hardtack. Dinged a tank with it one time. Word came down the ltc said my rotc platoon and I were liars. With a snarling ltc on my ass I wuz happy to get out of there.

In the Army itself canned fruit in the field was a godsend. Back at post the pie was hugely popular. One dark morning a conscript E-2 on kp got caught pissing into the pot of orange juice. In the Army then we wuz.

PleasantValley said:

Being a squid, I had never had the "pleasure" of sampling MRE coffee until zero dark thirty today. I was going through some stuff to take to a "swap or buy" with my outdoor camping group and discovered an MRE STAR packet i had squirreled away for the Zombie Apocalypse. Pinto bean stew with ham. It was actually very good. The huge, devoid of salt crackers were not bad either, and the sugar cookies were so-so. Then i tried the coffee. This stuff should be banned on humanitarian grounds. I put 8oz of boiling water in a cup, put in the packet of coffee and it dissovled nicely. Then i put in the packet (only one) of sugar...no problem.
Then the "cream'....more accurately described as chalk dust from a 50's classroom. Almost none of it dissolved, but just floated on top in big and little chunks. OK, I had come this far, so let's have a drink. )*&*&^%$#%$%^&&)(*_)(*(*&^*^%$^#))()(*&*&%$ is an accurate description of what my mouth and taste buds were telling me.

Every coffee maker in the world should give you a lifetime card for free coffee anywhere you grunts may go in the world.
You have earned it.

Click to expand...

LMAO, pretty nasty stuff ain't it? Ever had Sanka? You probably won't like it much either.

It works on the principle of something is better than nothing...

More than once I was damn glad to wrap my hand around a blackened canteen cup of instant coffee. We would dig a small hole put some C-4, or heat tab down in there, place two tent pegs across it to hold up the cup and make that swill. The hella Eisbit folding heaters were worth gold nuggets.

Some of us carried that dry chipped beef, far cheaper than jerky and as 'durable'. Back in the day I'd gut you if you stole my stash (carried in old PRiC battery plastic bags stuffed into an empty LAW tube with smokes, matches and real TP.) but doubt I've had it more than twice in the decades since.

Being a grunt does effect you long after your service- for the good I'd like to think so I'm good with paying for 'real' coffee (BTW that means with chicory )

But you did make my day Squid... eace

ecofarm said:

It's caffeine. If a powder doesn't dissolve in hot water, try a little cold water then mix the paste.

I'd rather eat MREs for weeks than ride a metal boat in the middle of the ocean.

Click to expand...

A Marine i knew expressed those same sentiments.
He was temporarily on a cruiser in Vietnam when the GQ sounded and warnings were made NVA MIGs were inbound.
He said he never felt so helpless.
Then they actually attacked and the ship's guns blew one away.
I think he said the others left.
Turns out he was there when history was in the making with the USS Bainbridge.
It was a DLG, but he can be forgiven, being a Marine and all.

He said there was nowhere to go and nowhere to hide.
He was just sitting out there "on a big metal boat", as you said.

RabidAlpaca said:

As a former Airborne Infantryman with a 15 month deployment behind me I can say I've eaten close to a thousand MREs over the years. Honestly no instant coffee will ever taste amazing, but really all that matters is that it's caffeine. We used to pack it behind our lower lips like dip as it's quick and the caffeine hits hard when you do it that way.

Click to expand...

nice tips. It might come in handy one day. Who knows?
Thank you.

To everyone here.

Ever notice how we can fuss and cuss in other sections, but in this MILITARY section we are all brothers?
I like that.

When I joined, for the first several years we were still getting old remnant boxed C-Rats. The MREs man...that was living. I remember in basic they issued the meals but everyone had to turn in the smokes.

The only real vital care package accessory was Tabasco Sauce. I prefer Louisiana hot sauce to Tabasco, but hot sauce blends with food. Tabasco is reliable...it just tastes like Tabasco sauce. You can even get down the omelette meal with enough Tabasco. And the peanut butter and crackers could be used to make emergency bomb shelters. The coffee was nasty but mix it with about a third cup of hot water if you could get it and throw it down like espresso.

I learned 2 lessons about coffee in the navy growing up on boats. 1- its black. Period. 2- NEVER wash the Chief's coffee cups.

Rexedgar said:

Never had MREs. C rations were the field food. Army 72-75, worst was Lima beans and Ham (Ham & Claymores), best was Beans & Franks. Always included not enough striking paper and a four pack of Pall Malls. Many boxes were dated from the 1940s. When the field kitchen was deployed, chow was very good.

Click to expand...

We caught the tail end of the C rats. I think they ran out of inventory around the mid 80s.

PleasantValley said:

Being a squid, I had never had the "pleasure" of sampling MRE coffee until zero dark thirty today.

I was going through some stuff to take to a "swap or buy" with my outdoor camping group and discovered an MRE STAR packet i had squirreled away for the Zombie Apocalypse.

Pinto bean stew with ham. It was actually very good. The huge, devoid of salt crackers were not bad either, and the sugar cookies were so-so.
Then i tried the coffee. This stuff should be banned on humanitarian grounds.

I put 8oz of boiling water in a cup, put in the packet of coffee and it dissovled nicely. Then i put in the packet (only one) of sugar...no problem.
Then the "cream'....more accurately described as chalk dust from a 50's classroom. Almost none of it dissolved, but just floated on top in big and little chunks.

OK, I had come this far, so let's have a drink.

)*&*&^%$#%$%^&&)(*_)(*(*&^*^%$^#))()(*&*&%$

is an accurate description of what my mouth and taste buds were telling me.

Every coffee maker in the world should give you a lifetime card for free coffee anywhere you grunts may go in the world.
You have earned it.

Click to expand...

:lamo


Nasty, innit?

C's for two years in Vietnam. MRE's later. T-rats a bit better than MRE's.

Yeah...I've seen them all up till the early 90's.

Just as an aside...if anyone is interested in a truly Vet owned vet supported coffee company...look into Black Rifle Coffee Company.







The coffee is more than Folgers...but its great coffee.

RabidAlpaca said:

As a former Airborne Infantryman with a 15 month deployment behind me I can say I've eaten close to a thousand MREs over the years. Honestly no instant coffee will ever taste amazing, but really all that matters is that it's caffeine. We used to pack it behind our lower lips like dip as it's quick and the caffeine hits hard when you do it that way.

Click to expand...

Never tried the lip thing... After some no sleep nights I could have used it.

VanceMack said:

When I joined, for the first several years we were still getting old remnant boxed C-Rats. The MREs man...that was living. I remember in basic they issued the meals but everyone had to turn in the smokes.

The only real vital care package accessory was Tabasco Sauce. I prefer Louisiana hot sauce to Tabasco, but hot sauce blends with food. Tabasco is reliable...it just tastes like Tabasco sauce. You can even get down the omelette meal with enough Tabasco. And the peanut butter and crackers could be used to make emergency bomb shelters. The coffee was nasty but mix it with about a third cup of hot water if you could get it and throw it down like espresso.

I learned 2 lessons about coffee in the navy growing up on boats. 1- its black. Period. 2- NEVER wash the Chief's coffee cups.

Click to expand...

Two exceptions on the first run of MREs... The beef patty and the pork patty. Both were vile and never reconstituted well.

PleasantValley said:

Being a squid, I had never had the "pleasure" of sampling MRE coffee until zero dark thirty today.

I was going through some stuff to take to a "swap or buy" with my outdoor camping group and discovered an MRE STAR packet i had squirreled away for the Zombie Apocalypse.

Pinto bean stew with ham. It was actually very good. The huge, devoid of salt crackers were not bad either, and the sugar cookies were so-so.
Then i tried the coffee. This stuff should be banned on humanitarian grounds.

I put 8oz of boiling water in a cup, put in the packet of coffee and it dissovled nicely. Then i put in the packet (only one) of sugar...no problem.
Then the "cream'....more accurately described as chalk dust from a 50's classroom. Almost none of it dissolved, but just floated on top in big and little chunks.

OK, I had come this far, so let's have a drink.

)*&*&^%$#%$%^&&)(*_)(*(*&^*^%$^#))()(*&*&%$

is an accurate description of what my mouth and taste buds were telling me.

Every coffee maker in the world should give you a lifetime card for free coffee anywhere you grunts may go in the world.
You have earned it.

Click to expand...

You did it wrong. Mix with cold water and chug it faster than your taste buds can engage, kinda have to loosen up the back of the throat, which you get skilled at doing in the Army. Btw...any buffalo chicken MREs are mine. You probably wouldn't like them anyways as it's spicy going in and spicy going out.

spud_meister said:

Wow, I didn't think anything could be worse than standard American coffee. My commiserations.

Click to expand...

Tried the beer?

Fledermaus said:

Two exceptions on the first run of MREs... The beef patty and the pork patty. Both were vile and never reconstituted well.

Click to expand...

I didnt mind the pork patty so much. The 'beef'...yeah....

Fishking said:

You did it wrong. Mix with cold water and chug it faster than your taste buds can engage, kinda have to loosen up the back of the throat, which you get skilled at doing in the Army. Btw...any buffalo chicken MREs are mine. You probably wouldn't like them anyways as it's spicy going in and spicy going out.

Click to expand...

I knew a guy who made Chief in just nine years. Loosen up the back of my throat like he did?
Takes skill and practice. :mrgreen:

...another good tip with the coffee. I can see the cold water thing working really well for a caffeine rush.