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How do you deal with cackling hens in the office space?

SDET

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I have an answer in mind, but I want to see other's answers first before I chime in.

Scenario: Imagine retracing your steps through 15,000 lines of code as a final verification to make sure you haven't missed handling any application state. There's not only all those lines of code, but all the entity relationships.

Half way through these hens start cackling things like "My husband had better have done the dishes when I get home or someone is sleeping on the couch." That's just an example, but it can be any mindless non-work-related conversation.

What would you do to remedy such a scenario?
 
What would you do to remedy such a scenario?

Never did programming professionally, but I have worked in situations where I needed complete focus. In those cases, I used noise cancelling headphones. Not because of the chatter but because of background noises from machines, lights, etc. that were bothering me. If your company won't let you use those than the only remedy is to explain the situation either to the individuals or your supervisor. I seriously doubt, unless you are able to score an office with a door, that you will be able to eliminate any chatter so the headphones would be your best bet I think.
 
What would you do to remedy such a scenario?

Learn how to focus on what you are doing, and quit allowing yourself to come up with the umpteenth reason to dislike women.
 
I have an answer in mind, but I want to see other's answers first before I chime in.

Scenario: Imagine retracing your steps through 15,000 lines of code as a final verification to make sure you haven't missed handling any application state. There's not only all those lines of code, but all the entity relationships.

Half way through these hens start cackling things like "My husband had better have done the dishes when I get home or someone is sleeping on the couch." That's just an example, but it can be any mindless non-work-related conversation.

What would you do to remedy such a scenario?

I heard Susie in accounting is pregnant with twins. Wonder who the father is.
 
I have an answer in mind, but I want to see other's answers first before I chime in.

Scenario: Imagine retracing your steps through 15,000 lines of code as a final verification to make sure you haven't missed handling any application state. There's not only all those lines of code, but all the entity relationships.

Half way through these hens start cackling things like "My husband had better have done the dishes when I get home or someone is sleeping on the couch." That's just an example, but it can be any mindless non-work-related conversation.

What would you do to remedy such a scenario?

Wear headphones and control what you are hearing.
 
I have an answer in mind, but I want to see other's answers first before I chime in.

Scenario: Imagine retracing your steps through 15,000 lines of code as a final verification to make sure you haven't missed handling any application state. There's not only all those lines of code, but all the entity relationships.

Half way through these hens start cackling things like "My husband had better have done the dishes when I get home or someone is sleeping on the couch." That's just an example, but it can be any mindless non-work-related conversation.

What would you do to remedy such a scenario?

Find a job where women don't work around you, maybe a remote work at home position where there are no hens to bother you. Go to your boss and tell them how you feel and suggest working at home, who knows they may agree you should not be in the office.
 
I have an answer in mind, but I want to see other's answers first before I chime in.

Scenario: Imagine retracing your steps through 15,000 lines of code as a final verification to make sure you haven't missed handling any application state. There's not only all those lines of code, but all the entity relationships.

Half way through these hens start cackling things like "My husband had better have done the dishes when I get home or someone is sleeping on the couch." That's just an example, but it can be any mindless non-work-related conversation.

What would you do to remedy such a scenario?

I'd STFU and do the job they're paying me to do.
 
Out of umpteen, that's probably #2. Number one would be an unqualified diversity hire manager demanding things be done in a nonfunctional or least dysfunctional way. I will define dysfunctional as defect-prone. One of my pet peeves is allowing screen recording as demos where they capture that one miraculous time the thing works. If you can demo the actual application running, you shouldn't be demoing.

Learn how to focus on what you are doing, and quit allowing yourself to come up with the umpteenth reason to dislike women.
 
I have an answer in mind, but I want to see other's answers first before I chime in.

Scenario: Imagine retracing your steps through 15,000 lines of code as a final verification to make sure you haven't missed handling any application state. There's not only all those lines of code, but all the entity relationships.

Half way through these hens start cackling things like "My husband had better have done the dishes when I get home or someone is sleeping on the couch." That's just an example, but it can be any mindless non-work-related conversation.

What would you do to remedy such a scenario?

Grindr maybe?
 
It's not me doing the talking! The mentality you describe is the source of software defects and industrial accidents.

I'd STFU and do the job they're paying me to do.
 
I have an answer in mind, but I want to see other's answers first before I chime in.

Scenario: Imagine retracing your steps through 15,000 lines of code as a final verification to make sure you haven't missed handling any application state. There's not only all those lines of code, but all the entity relationships.

Half way through these hens start cackling things like "My husband had better have done the dishes when I get home or someone is sleeping on the couch." That's just an example, but it can be any mindless non-work-related conversation.

What would you do to remedy such a scenario?

Find a job with all male employees: coal mining, ditch digging, septic tank pumping, conservative Christian preaching
 
It's not me doing the talking! The mentality you describe is the source of software defects and industrial accidents.

Obviously worthwhile sacrifices for the cause of political correctness.
 
Now, I will chime in with my experience. First of all companies go to great lengths to protect these busybodies. HR departments generally have a "women first" mentality and protect women and are generally staffed by women. I have seen companies move whole departments to accommodate such gossips. They call it "collaboration" They become annoyed at the "whiny geeks. But "whiny geeks" have to be tolerated unless they want to go back to metal filing cabinets and manila folders.

The steps stop when the problem gets solved.

Step 1: See if others are being impeded by the chatter and complain as a group

Step 2: See if your manager can solve the problem. Don't mention a specific solution; see if your manager comes up with something you didn't think of.

Step 3: See if you can get a diagnosis for some disability that is aggravated by noise

Step 4: Send a certified letter to HR including the diagnosis. Do not discuss verbally, which will leave the company room for deniability. Some solutions are:
Recognize that not respecting others work situation, especially if it affects multiple people, is unprofessional and enforce a quiet work area
Being allowed to work remotely. However in some companies WFH is a coveted perk only for the most preferred employees and highly political.
Being given a work area in an isolated part of the building.
Locate department where teams that need lots of concentration are kept together. Don't put your IT development team next to HR
Have "huddle rooms" for those that need to work undisturbed.

Step 5: If HR is unresponsive to your letter, begin the process of suing the company. Inform the legal department of each step you take.

Step 6: If the company STILL won't budge, offer to resign in exchange for SIX MONTHS severance. Don't accept less than that.

Step 7: Picket the company for being hostile to the disabled. Such picketing is an EEOC protected activity. If the company retaliates for this action, that's a separate and additional lawsuit

Step 8: Continue your legal action until you either get a substantial settlement or a judgment against the company.

In the above process: AVOID SAYING OR DOING ANYTHING THAT THE COMPANY CAN USE AGAINST YOU!!!!
 
Or an IT company that makes heavy use of H1B Visas. Indians generally work quietly.

Find a job with all male employees: coal mining, ditch digging, septic tank pumping, conservative Christian preaching
 
Now, I will chime in with my experience. First of all companies go to great lengths to protect these busybodies. HR departments generally have a "women first" mentality and protect women and are generally staffed by women. I have seen companies move whole departments to accommodate such gossips. They call it "collaboration" They become annoyed at the "whiny geeks. But "whiny geeks" have to be tolerated unless they want to go back to metal filing cabinets and manila folders.

The steps stop when the problem gets solved.

Step 1: See if others are being impeded by the chatter and complain as a group

Step 2: See if your manager can solve the problem. Don't mention a specific solution; see if your manager comes up with something you didn't think of.

Step 3: See if you can get a diagnosis for some disability that is aggravated by noise

Step 4: Send a certified letter to HR including the diagnosis. Do not discuss verbally, which will leave the company room for deniability. Some solutions are:
Recognize that not respecting others work situation, especially if it affects multiple people, is unprofessional and enforce a quiet work area
Being allowed to work remotely. However in some companies WFH is a coveted perk only for the most preferred employees and highly political.
Being given a work area in an isolated part of the building.
Locate department where teams that need lots of concentration are kept together. Don't put your IT development team next to HR
Have "huddle rooms" for those that need to work undisturbed.

Step 5: If HR is unresponsive to your letter, begin the process of suing the company. Inform the legal department of each step you take.

Step 6: If the company STILL won't budge, offer to resign in exchange for SIX MONTHS severance. Don't accept less than that.

Step 7: Picket the company for being hostile to the disabled. Such picketing is an EEOC protected activity. If the company retaliates for this action, that's a separate and additional lawsuit

Step 8: Continue your legal action until you either get a substantial settlement or a judgment against the company.

In the above process: AVOID SAYING OR DOING ANYTHING THAT THE COMPANY CAN USE AGAINST YOU!!!!

Or Step 1: Put headphones on. Problem solved.
 
I have an answer in mind, but I want to see other's answers first before I chime in.

Scenario: Imagine retracing your steps through 15,000 lines of code as a final verification to make sure you haven't missed handling any application state. There's not only all those lines of code, but all the entity relationships.

Half way through these hens start cackling things like "My husband had better have done the dishes when I get home or someone is sleeping on the couch." That's just an example, but it can be any mindless non-work-related conversation.

What would you do to remedy such a scenario?

Play this real loud...

 
That's useful up to perhaps two hours per day. Ears need to get air. You could get open headphones, but everyone else around you hears what you're listening to. Open headphones would be an interesting passive-aggressive solution.

Or Step 1: Put headphones on. Problem solved.

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The bottom line is that I offer empowering, useful solutions when so many other replies amount to a variation of "suck it up and eat the turd sandwich". Eating the turd sandwich of usually unnecessary with the right know-how. Getting what you want on an adversarial basis is an indispensable skill to sharpen.
 
The bottom line is that I offer empowering, useful solutions when so many other replies amount to a variation of "suck it up and eat the turd sandwich". Eating the turd sandwich of usually unnecessary with the right know-how. Getting what you want on an adversarial basis is an indispensable skill to sharpen.

Oh yeah, being adversarial always works well.
 
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