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What level of effort does the Autistic community owe others?

SDET

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I have been to support groups where there are those who expend considerable money and effort to be "people pleasers". They generally stay unemployed and alone, basically having their lunch eaten at every turn. Then there are those of us that say "screw it", this trying to attune to people feelings and social concerns has a poor return on investment. The law demands certain things of us, but it also enables us to demand things of others. I tell these disadvantaged people (people who make social demands call them "losers" or even "incels") to just worry about what the law expects of them, but otherwise don't consider other people when pursuing your desires. When push comes to shove, they will walk all over you if it serves their interests.

The thing to keep in mind is to never be a sucker.

There are YouTube videos that talk about "simps" who think that there's an unwritten social contract that says others will take care of you if you just be a people pleaser. I say it's a scam. What say you?
 
I have been to support groups where there are those who expend considerable money and effort to be "people pleasers". They generally stay unemployed and alone, basically having their lunch eaten at every turn. Then there are those of us that say "screw it", this trying to attune to people feelings and social concerns has a poor return on investment. The law demands certain things of us, but it also enables us to demand things of others. I tell these disadvantaged people (people who make social demands call them "losers" or even "incels") to just worry about what the law expects of them, but otherwise don't consider other people when pursuing your desires. When push comes to shove, they will walk all over you if it serves their interests.

The thing to keep in mind is to never be a sucker.

There are YouTube videos that talk about "simps" who think that there's an unwritten social contract that says others will take care of you if you just be a people pleaser. I say it's a scam. What say you?

What in the actual hell?
 
I have been to support groups where there are those who expend considerable money and effort to be "people pleasers". They generally stay unemployed and alone, basically having their lunch eaten at every turn. Then there are those of us that say "screw it", this trying to attune to people feelings and social concerns has a poor return on investment. The law demands certain things of us, but it also enables us to demand things of others. I tell these disadvantaged people (people who make social demands call them "losers" or even "incels") to just worry about what the law expects of them, but otherwise don't consider other people when pursuing your desires. When push comes to shove, they will walk all over you if it serves their interests.

The thing to keep in mind is to never be a sucker.

There are YouTube videos that talk about "simps" who think that there's an unwritten social contract that says others will take care of you if you just be a people pleaser. I say it's a scam. What say you?
What did I just read?
 
What did I just read?

I'm talking about people that spend big bucks and years of effort on "rehabilitation" only to wind up unemployed and alone. I have seen others endure this and it makes my blood boil. It's often at the hands of relatives that want to "help". The best rehabilitation school is the school of hard knocks.
 
What in the actual hell?

Angry aspergers.

I have aspergers. Aspergers people are kinda dangerous. We don't understand you.

I got a big dose of the genes for compassion so I'm OK.

But the rest mostly find somewhere to hide where their knack for complex systems afford them a decent life.

A few become amoral.

Mercer the rich Guy who bailed out trump after the ***** grabbing bit is obviously aa aspergers person who read too much conservative porn while developing the algorithm that made him rich AF.

Explains a lot of this poster's posts.
 
I have been to support groups where there are those who expend considerable money and effort to be "people pleasers". They generally stay unemployed and alone, basically having their lunch eaten at every turn. Then there are those of us that say "screw it", this trying to attune to people feelings and social concerns has a poor return on investment. The law demands certain things of us, but it also enables us to demand things of others. I tell these disadvantaged people (people who make social demands call them "losers" or even "incels") to just worry about what the law expects of them, but otherwise don't consider other people when pursuing your desires. When push comes to shove, they will walk all over you if it serves their interests.

The thing to keep in mind is to never be a sucker.

There are YouTube videos that talk about "simps" who think that there's an unwritten social contract that says others will take care of you if you just be a people pleaser. I say it's a scam. What say you?

Sounds like sour grapes to me.
 
Angry aspergers.

I have aspergers. Aspergers people are kinda dangerous. We don't understand you.

I got a big dose of the genes for compassion so I'm OK.

But the rest mostly find somewhere to hide where their knack for complex systems afford them a decent life.

A few become amoral.

Mercer the rich Guy who bailed out trump after the ***** grabbing bit is obviously aa aspergers person who read too much conservative porn while developing the algorithm that made him rich AF.

Explains a lot of this poster's posts.

Hello fellow traveler.
I broke out of my windowless room with the help of pyschedelics as a teen.
That is not a recommendation, just a recounting of my own personal experience.

I never really knew much about the autism spectrum but I knew I had grown up as a kid who was vastly different from others, but I wasn't officially diagnosed as an Aspie until age 46, which had the effect of making everything fall into place.
It was a strange feeling, but also a relief.
 
I have been to support groups where there are those who expend considerable money and effort to be "people pleasers". They generally stay unemployed and alone, basically having their lunch eaten at every turn. Then there are those of us that say "screw it", this trying to attune to people feelings and social concerns has a poor return on investment. The law demands certain things of us, but it also enables us to demand things of others. I tell these disadvantaged people (people who make social demands call them "losers" or even "incels") to just worry about what the law expects of them, but otherwise don't consider other people when pursuing your desires. When push comes to shove, they will walk all over you if it serves their interests.

The thing to keep in mind is to never be a sucker.

There are YouTube videos that talk about "simps" who think that there's an unwritten social contract that says others will take care of you if you just be a people pleaser. I say it's a scam. What say you?

Psychotherapy is a scam. An excessive desire to please others is bad in general. But unless we're talking about people who are severely autistic, it's really not that unreasonable to expect people to understand basic social cues by the time they reach adulthood.
 
What I recommend Aspies do is learn as much law as possible. It serves as a boundary to what you can get away with, but it also limits what others can do to you. There is criminal, civil and regulatory law. Let's say your landlord doesn't like you and starts being crappy towards you. There's no goodwill left, so you have nothing to lose. How about memorizing the building code? Turn in violations one at at time and stretch it out over time. That also adds leverage of reporting any adverse behavior or treatment as retaliation for turning in violations which is illegal in many states. It puts control back in your hands and leaves your adversary, the landlord off balance.

This is but one example of how to deal with people who act badly towards you for social skills you don't have. It turns the tables AND you get what you want from people.

Oftentimes your adversary will surrender and ask what is necessary to make peace with you. You can then communicate your demands.
 
Psychotherapy is a scam. An excessive desire to please others is bad in general. But unless we're talking about people who are severely autistic, it's really not that unreasonable to expect people to understand basic social cues by the time they reach adulthood.

I turned the aspie focus to the social cue problem.

I now appear quite socially adept. But it takes focus.

IMO its not missing social cues but not getting the neurochemical rewards associated with them.

For instance I have leadership talent. But I get no pleasure from it. I can also be subordinate but don't feel comfortable because I have leadership.

I have no interest in "status" games. Being above somebody does nothing for me. Neither does being below make me aspire to their position.
 
What I recommend Aspies do is learn as much law as possible. It serves as a boundary to what you can get away with, but it also limits what others can do to you. There is criminal, civil and regulatory law. Let's say your landlord doesn't like you and starts being crappy towards you. There's no goodwill left, so you have nothing to lose. How about memorizing the building code? Turn in violations one at at time and stretch it out over time. That also adds leverage of reporting any adverse behavior or treatment as retaliation for turning in violations which is illegal in many states. It puts control back in your hands and leaves your adversary, the landlord off balance.

This is but one example of how to deal with people who act badly towards you for social skills you don't have. It turns the tables AND you get what you want from people.

Oftentimes your adversary will surrender and ask what is necessary to make peace with you. You can then communicate your demands.

Its probably too late for you, but it is possible to put aspire focus to the social problem.

I did, and now i appear to be a "real boy". Quite socially adept. It still isn't "instinctive" I have to pay attention.

But I am not handicapped anymore as many are.

I would advise against the adversarial position you are taking. You are on a path to amoral manipulation.

And we don't need any more of us getting into that.
 
Psychotherapy is a scam. An excessive desire to please others is bad in general. But unless we're talking about people who are severely autistic, it's really not that unreasonable to expect people to understand basic social cues by the time they reach adulthood.

If it is a scam, better you be the scammer than the scamee. Once you get designated "disabled", many things that would otherwise be legal to do to you suddenly become illegal or at least civilly actionable. I have profited perhaps to the tune of $100K with help from psychotherapists.
 
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