Pressing the wrong button.

Elderly citizens all over the country were heartened and enraged by recent news reports of an employee working for the Hawaiian Emergency Management Agency (HEMA) that hit the wrong button on a computer sending an incoming missile alert to panicked citizens on the Island.

Bedlam ensued while horrified island residents grabbed their guns and stuffed children down manholes. For about 38 minutes pandemonium reached a fever pitch while people who thought they were fleeing mushroom clouds filled their pockets with sandwiches and headed for the hills.

Then as suddenly as it started it was over; it was all just an honest mistake. According to various authorities and experts a poorly crafted computer drop-down page was to blame. The display was arranged so the button to launch a test alert was located right next to the button to activate an actual alert.

To make it even more confusing for the employee a third alert was in play that warned a real alarm was being initiated and asked if this was intention. It was so confusing-just a bad manufacturing mistake on the part of the computer program. The button got pressed and for 38 minutes the employee had no idea that he/she was victimized by inferior technology.

Well, the elderly in this community just want to know one thing: Who the hell designed our automobiles so the gas pedal is located right next to the brake pedal? That HEMA worker had a bad day but it was nothing compared to the honest mistake of an old timer plowing a vehicle through the brick wall of a drugstore because some nincompoop
built a car with the accelerator and the brake right beside each other!

This incident in Hawaii is a foreboding of a national disaster that would make a nuclear attack look like a picnic. Due to advances in modern medicine older demographics are growing at a rapid rate while they’re still operating cars that require pushing the correct pedal.

We could be on the brink of facing a national calamity of 40 million octogenarians all having a vehicle senior moment simultaneously. With store employees and customers flying like bowling pins from coast to coast it could be known as the Great Walmart Holocaust.

Now that we have been made aware that we can blame our mistakes on bad technology the elderly can now put their foot down-hopefully on the right pedal.

I don't understand this thread. Are you saying because of outdated Government software and human error that the elderly who are medically losing the motor function to operate regular sized phones and TV Remotes should be able to operate heavy machinery like cars?

CMPancake said:

I don't understand this thread. Are you saying because of outdated Government software and human error that the elderly who are medically losing the motor function to operate regular sized phones and TV Remotes should be able to operate heavy machinery like cars?

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No. I'm using humor to say that the elderly do not make excuses and blame their cars for hitting the wrong pedal but professional government employees blame their equipment instead to taking responsibility for their mistakes.

Ray9 said:

No. I'm using humor to say that the elderly do not make excuses and blame their cars for hitting the wrong pedal but professional government employees blame their equipment instead to taking responsibility for their mistakes.

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You know why the elderly cause car accidents? It's human error brought on from their deteriorating physical condition. We're talking about peope who no longer have the same cognitive functions they once possessed. That's insane.

I will freely admit that this incident has prompted me to pay more attention when my computer asks me if I'm sure I want to delete or close something.

thank you for your input. Here's the rewrite:



Elderly citizens all over the country were heartened and enraged by recent news reports of an employee working for the Hawaiian Emergency Management Agency (HEMA) that hit the wrong button on a computer sending an incoming missile alert to panicked citizens on the Island.

Bedlam ensued while horrified island residents grabbed their guns and stuffed children down manholes. For about 38 minutes pandemonium reached a fever pitch while people who thought they were fleeing mushroom clouds filled their pockets with sandwiches and headed for the hills.

Then as suddenly as it started it was over; it was all just an honest mistake. According to various authorities and experts a poorly crafted computer drop-down page was to blame. The display was arranged so the button to launch a test alert was located right next to the button to activate an actual alert.

To make it even more confusing for the employee a third alert was in play that warned a real alarm was being initiated and asked if this was the intention. It was so confusing-just a bad manufacturing mistake on the part of the computer program. The button got pressed and for 38 minutes the employee had no idea that he/she was victimized by inferior technology.

Octogenarians can now breathe a sigh of relief after they’ve launched their vehicles through the front door of a Walmart sending store employees and shoppers scattering in all directions like bowling pins. You see some idiot engineers did a bad job of designing their cars by putting the gas pedal right next to the brake pedal.

The old timers in our community occasionally suffer from a cerebral deficit that slows and distorts processing speed resulting in reflexive mistakes of vehicle operation that should be second nature. Their neurons and synapses sometimes become morons and relapses. They are quickly taken off the road-“hey Pop, you’re done”. No reprieve is forthcoming for a poorly crafted automobile.

In our modern, progressive society is isn’t clear if the professional government employee responsible for this potentially tragic debacle had a prescription for medical marijuana or maybe started the weekend early with a few martinis-or both. We’ll never find out. But it is certain that the employee experienced a cerebral deficit and zigged when he/she should have zagged without a fail-safe or copilot mechanism in place.

Based on the current state of our government agencies maybe we all better learn to duck and cover.