The Morning After - the AS diaries

cpwill · Mar 1, 2013

Sometime Yesterday (the President had to officially sign it into existence), the Sequestration went into effect. My fellow netizens, we are now in year 0 AS (after sequestration).

I miss the old world, I admit. It's not pretty outside. Lots of bodies piled up in the street from where the meteor struck the crowd of suddenly unemployed Border Patrol agents. Fortunately, the fact that we no longer have animal shelters or any ability to control wildlife means that the population of wild dogs that now rules the neighborhood should take care of them quickly.

We took in a former teacher. Apparently some little-noticed portion of their contract read "In case of sequestration, the school board will hunt down all teachers and carve out their eyes", so they've been wandering around blinded, which, as you can imagine, is a problem with the dogs. We tried to give her a sense of purpose by offering to exchange room and board for educating our children, but she insisted that she be allowed to unionize and receive a guaranteed annual 6% increase in Room with a lifetime of Board after 15 years of service... so now she's just unemployed, but still getting roomed and boarded.

Alright, gotta run real quick. Looks like my survival garden is getting raided by a bunch of hedge fund guys. Fortunately, I took the VP's advice, so I've got a double barreled shotgun. Unfortunately, I live in a "gun crime free zone", so I'm not allowed to have any ammunition, and will have to use it as a club. Let me know how you guys are doing, and if you are okay.

lizzie · Mar 1, 2013

cpwill said:
Sometime Yesterday (the President had to officially sign it into existence), the Sequestration went into effect. My fellow netizens, we are now in year 0 AS (after sequestration).

I miss the old world, I admit. It's not pretty outside. Lots of bodies piled up in the street from where the meteor struck the crowd of suddenly unemployed Border Patrol agents. Fortunately, the fact that we no longer have animal shelters or any ability to control wildlife means that the population of wild dogs that now rules the neighborhood should take care of them quickly.

We took in a former teacher. Apparently some little-noticed portion of their contract read "In case of sequestration, the school board will hunt down all teachers and carve out their eyes", so they've been wandering around blinded, which, as you can imagine, is a problem with the dogs. We tried to give her a sense of purpose by offering to exchange room and board for educating our children, but she insisted that she be allowed to unionize and receive a guaranteed annual 6% increase in Room with a lifetime of Board after 15 years of service... so now she's just unemployed, but still getting roomed and boarded.

Alright, gotta run real quick. Looks like my survival garden is getting raided by a bunch of hedge fund guys. Fortunately, I took the VP's advice, so I've got a double barreled shotgun. Unfortunately, I live in a "gun crime free zone", so I'm not allowed to have any ammunition, and will have to use it as a club. Let me know how you guys are doing, and if you are okay.

Haha- excellent post- fun reading! :lol:

Wiseone · Mar 1, 2013

I don't get it.

digsbe · Mar 1, 2013

It snowed today... in MARCH! Not only are we all going to suffer from the sequestering, but it has also enhanced global warming. We'll all be dead within the week and it's all due to those mean old Republicans.

MaggieD · Mar 1, 2013

cpwill said:
Sometime Yesterday (the President had to officially sign it into existence), the Sequestration went into effect. My fellow netizens, we are now in year 0 AS (after sequestration).

I miss the old world, I admit. It's not pretty outside. Lots of bodies piled up in the street from where the meteor struck the crowd of suddenly unemployed Border Patrol agents. Fortunately, the fact that we no longer have animal shelters or any ability to control wildlife means that the population of wild dogs that now rules the neighborhood should take care of them quickly.

We took in a former teacher. Apparently some little-noticed portion of their contract read "In case of sequestration, the school board will hunt down all teachers and carve out their eyes", so they've been wandering around blinded, which, as you can imagine, is a problem with the dogs. We tried to give her a sense of purpose by offering to exchange room and board for educating our children, but she insisted that she be allowed to unionize and receive a guaranteed annual 6% increase in Room with a lifetime of Board after 15 years of service... so now she's just unemployed, but still getting roomed and boarded.

Alright, gotta run real quick. Looks like my survival garden is getting raided by a bunch of hedge fund guys. Fortunately, I took the VP's advice, so I've got a double barreled shotgun. Unfortunately, I live in a "gun crime free zone", so I'm not allowed to have any ammunition, and will have to use it as a club. Let me know how you guys are doing, and if you are okay.

All police and fire fighters in my town have been fired. Their pensions have been suspended, pension trust raided and used to pay electric bills. There are children starving in my streets. I must admit I've fed them . . . but that will quickly stop as food stores are coming up empty. The homeless who usually come to my church to sleep on Friday nights have been rounded up and put into concentration camps somewhere in the heartland. There are crosses burning on lawns and the national guard guys are sleeping in a truck down the street. They're out of gas.

IOW, a typical Friday.

lemmiwinx · Mar 1, 2013

Sequestration is never easy. Don't let anyone tell you any different.

cpwill · Mar 1, 2013

digsbe said:
It snowed today... in MARCH! Not only are we all going to suffer from the sequestering, but it has also enhanced global warming. We'll all be dead within the week and it's all due to those mean old Republicans.

I saw a crow flying backwards, and cats and dogs living together. Truly we are living in the end times.

How could we have been so blind!?!?!

Like this wouldn't cause societal collapse:

???

What were we thinking???

Oh well. No time to dwell on the past now. Apparently Hannibal Lecter has been released from Prison and so now we have to organize a Posse to stop him from feeding on middle-class children. But we don't want to enable criminals to murder people, so instead of weapons our posse is going to carry explanatory pamphlets describing how Violence Hurts Us All. Anyone know any Kinko's that survived the night?

Wiseone · Mar 1, 2013

cpwill said:
I saw a crow flying backwards, and cats and dogs living together. Truly we are living in the end times.

How could we have been so blind!?!?!

Like this wouldn't cause societal collapse:

???

What were we thinking???

Oh well. No time to dwell on the past now. Apparently Hannibal Lecter has been released from Prison and so now we have to organize a Posse to stop him from feeding on middle-class children. But we don't want to enable criminals to murder people, so instead of weapons our posse is going to carry explanatory pamphlets describing how Violence Hurts Us All. Anyone know any Kinko's that survived the night?

Good Source you've got there

Apocalypse Cometh | You are not going to like the future

I like the "about" section

This site is all about the future our parents left us. There is no “American Dream”, there is no “Path to Prosperity”, there is only tax servitude and likely police beatings or death to those that resist. So this is the circumstance in which this site was born. The collapse is imminent, I just hope that some of the information here will be helpful when it does. Just a little advice, if it’s wearing blue, green or black uniforms in the chaos…They’re not there to help.

Risky Thicket · Mar 1, 2013

cpwill said:
Sometime Yesterday (the President had to officially sign it into existence), the Sequestration went into effect. My fellow netizens, we are now in year 0 AS (after sequestration).

I miss the old world, I admit. It's not pretty outside. Lots of bodies piled up in the street from where the meteor struck the crowd of suddenly unemployed Border Patrol agents. Fortunately, the fact that we no longer have animal shelters or any ability to control wildlife means that the population of wild dogs that now rules the neighborhood should take care of them quickly.

We took in a former teacher. Apparently some little-noticed portion of their contract read "In case of sequestration, the school board will hunt down all teachers and carve out their eyes", so they've been wandering around blinded, which, as you can imagine, is a problem with the dogs. We tried to give her a sense of purpose by offering to exchange room and board for educating our children, but she insisted that she be allowed to unionize and receive a guaranteed annual 6% increase in Room with a lifetime of Board after 15 years of service... so now she's just unemployed, but still getting roomed and boarded.

Alright, gotta run real quick. Looks like my survival garden is getting raided by a bunch of hedge fund guys. Fortunately, I took the VP's advice, so I've got a double barreled shotgun. Unfortunately, I live in a "gun crime free zone", so I'm not allowed to have any ammunition, and will have to use it as a club. Let me know how you guys are doing, and if you are okay.

Chin up. If you do find a box of shells for your side by side and you have to shoot it, there won't be any cops to investigate it.

Risky Thicket · Mar 1, 2013

MaggieD said:
All police and fire fighters in my town have been fired. Their pensions have been suspended, pension trust raided and used to pay electric bills. There are children starving in my streets. I must admit I've fed them . . . but that will quickly stop as food stores are coming up empty. The homeless who usually come to my church to sleep on Friday nights have been rounded up and put into concentration camps somewhere in the heartland. There are crosses burning on lawns and the national guard guys are sleeping in a truck down the street. They're out of gas.

IOW, a typical Friday.

Fortunately, it's Chicago. So when the hungry do get fed, it's pretty damned good food.

cpwill · Mar 1, 2013

Wiseone said:
Good Source you've got there

The Congressional Budget Office? Well, I think that their static scoring methodology is wildly implausible and weakens our national discourse, but they are generally widely accepted.

Wiseone · Mar 1, 2013

cpwill said:
The Congressional Budget Office? Well, I think that their static scoring methodology is wildly implausible and weakens our national discourse, but they are generally widely accepted.

No I mean the source where you got that image from

Risky Thicket · Mar 1, 2013

cpwill said:
The Congressional Budget Office? Well, I think that their static scoring methodology is wildly implausible and weakens our national discourse, but they are generally widely accepted.

There is a Congressional Budget Office???

Wiseone · Mar 1, 2013

Risky Thicket said:
There is a Congressional Budget Office???

Yes, stop wasting time with dumb posts.

Risky Thicket · Mar 1, 2013

Wiseone said:
Yes, stop wasting time with dumb posts.

I got your dumb post hanging.

cpwill · Mar 2, 2013

Wiseone said:
No I mean the source where you got that image from

If you will check the lower right hand corner, you will see that the figures come from the Congressional Budget Office. Literally I googled the graph and put it up there. Feel free to argue about the Mercatus center all you like; but it seems like a bit small-minded of a move, now that we are living in the post-apocalypse age.

Wiseone · Mar 2, 2013

cpwill said:
If you will check the lower right hand corner, you will see that the figures come from the Congressional Budget Office. Literally I googled the graph and put it up there. Feel free to argue about the Mercatus center all you like; but it seems like a bit small-minded of a move, now that we are living in the post-apocalypse age.

So your source isn't actually the CBO, because you didn't find this graph at the CBO, your source is a website call "Apocalypse Cometh" that hosts an image with CBO in the bottom right corner.

Instead of googling for something and trusting an image off of some wacko's blog because it had "CBO" placed in the corner, why don't you link it directly from the CBO or at least a more reputable source?

cpwill · Mar 2, 2013

Wiseone said:
So your source isn't actually the CBO, because you didn't find this graph at the CBO, your source is a website call "Apocalypse Cometh" that hosts an image with CBO in the bottom right corner.

Instead of googling for something and trusting an image off of some wacko's blog because it had "CBO" placed in the corner, why don't you link it directly from the CBO or at least a more reputable source?

Because it was the first one google had that was the right friggin size. The data is correct and easily verifiable. However, since apparently you have a boner for this, would you like to actually make the explicit claim that the graph is incorrect? Or is it that you simply have nothing to add, but wanted to speak up anyway in order to divert the thread?

cpwill · Mar 2, 2013

:lamo wait a minute. Apocalypsecometh didn't create that chart. The Mercatus Center did.

Of George Mason University

:lamo So you quoted the post, noticed the website, and went off on a tear about checking source-material without even checking your source material :lamo

:mrgreen: aaahhhhh, too funny

Wiseone · Mar 2, 2013

cpwill said:
Because it was the first one google had that was the right friggin size. The data is correct and easily verifiable. However, since apparently you have a boner for this, would you like to actually make the explicit claim that the graph is incorrect? Or is it that you simply have nothing to add, but wanted to speak up anyway in order to divert the thread?

I'm just saying the source is unreliable, its an unknown, finding it on google and having it hosted on Apocalypse Cometh doesn't lend it any credence. And have CBO in the corner isn't something magical either since anybody can slap some text in the corner of a document

cpwill · Mar 2, 2013

Wiseone said:
I'm just saying the source is unreliable, its an unknown,

The Source of the chart is the Mercatus Center, which yes, is reliable. It was posted on a site that's an unknown. Just like it was posted here. I could go back and argue that any piece of evidence you have ever presented is equally invalid because it was on a site called "debatepolitics". The numbers came from the CBO.

Again, are you willing to actually dispute those facts? Or are you just here to ruin a perfectly fun thread with ninnyism?

Deuce · Mar 2, 2013

About a third of the nation's air traffic control towers are slated to be closed. What could possibly go wrong?

The Morning After - the AS diaries

cpwill

lizzie

Wiseone

digsbe

Truth will set you free

MaggieD

lemmiwinx

cpwill

Wiseone

Risky Thicket

Sewer Rat

Risky Thicket

Sewer Rat

cpwill

Wiseone

Risky Thicket

Sewer Rat

Wiseone

Risky Thicket

Sewer Rat

cpwill

Wiseone

cpwill

cpwill

Wiseone

cpwill

Deuce

Outer space potato man