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A RANT: Online Recipes

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Hawkeye10

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:ranton:

I am a retired professional chef, a pretty good one actually, plus I am working on a food blog so I am doing something I almost never do.....document what I do, including with pics....and I also am looking at online food blogs and what they do as I try to get up to speed on blogging.....and I have noticed that online recipes can be very very bad. In some cases I am sure that no one ever tried to cook the recipe even once, it is all BS. And the pictures?? OMG, food porn it is called, so perfect and unrealistic and too often flat out flaked... the pic is not of the recipe in question, maybe the food was amended to get it too look that good, or maybe it is of something else entirely(which can get to be funny when say you(F) see peas in that casserole when there are no peas called for). I mean this is as bad as the 1980's Rockford Il Gannett owned Rockford Morning Star newspaper routinely flunky conjured bad, and the newspaper recipes did get so bad that even my mom gave up on them, and they were her favorite part of the paper other than the obits (we shall not go there). I can kinda sorta get an idea in like 10 seconds if the recipe makes any sense and might the food produced by it taste good. The first thing with me is a fast look at the ingredients to see if the flavor combinations make any sense. I would say a good 25% time I say "they dont have xxx, this cant be right. If things still look good I look at the process, not because I am going to follow it cause I almost never do, I either know the way to do it already or I have a plan to experiment, but if the person who wrote the recipe does not know then I am done with this recipe, and most likely this blog. I am into baking now as hobby, something that I have pretty much never done, so I am online for that a lot. I do catering in Seattle, coffee and pastry sorts of deals, 20-100 people, needs to be Seattle quality or better, and a lot of times I am making something the day before, I dont have time to do it over, and I have never done it before. This gets to a thread I did here long ago about the culinary high wire act, does anyone else do this cause I love it, really gets the juices going....see I like to make things harder on myself than they need to be cause damn it I need to have my fun, too safe too boring does not work for me, I am like TRUMP. I need a recipe that not only is not crap or OK, it has to solid, and AMAZING would be better. I have found some amazing, which has earned be great tips on my jobs, they are there. But the average recipe? OMG.

God Damn there is too much crap in this world

:rantoff:
 
Hawkeye10 said:
:ranton:

I am a retired professional chef, a pretty good one actually, plus I am working on a food blog so I am doing something I almost never do.....document what I do, including with pics....and I also am looking at online food blogs and what they do as I try to get up to speed on blogging.....and I have noticed that online recipes can be very very bad. In some cases I am sure that no one ever tried to cook the recipe even once, it is all BS. And the pictures?? OMG, food porn it is called, so perfect and unrealistic and too often flat out flaked... the pic is not of the recipe in question, maybe the food was amended to get it too look that good, or maybe it is of something else entirely(which can get to be funny when say you(F) see peas in that casserole when there are no peas called for). I mean this is as bad as the 1980's Rockford Il Gannett owned Rockford Morning Star newspaper routinely flunky conjured bad, and the newspaper recipes did get so bad that even my mom gave up on them, and they were her favorite part of the paper other than the obits (we shall not go there). I can kinda sorta get an idea in like 10 seconds if the recipe makes any sense and might the food produced by it taste good. The first thing with me is a fast look at the ingredients to see if the flavor combinations make any sense. I would say a good 25% time I say "they dont have xxx, this cant be right. If things still look good I look at the process, not because I am going to follow it cause I almost never do, I either know the way to do it already or I have a plan to experiment, but if the person who wrote the recipe does not know then I am done with this recipe, and most likely this blog. I am into baking now as hobby, something that I have pretty much never done, so I am online for that a lot. I do catering in Seattle, coffee and pastry sorts of deals, 20-100 people, needs to be Seattle quality or better, and a lot of times I am making something the day before, I dont have time to do it over, and I have never done it before. This gets to a thread I did here long ago about the culinary high wire act, does anyone else do this cause I love it, really gets the juices going....see I like to make things harder on myself than they need to be cause damn it I need to have my fun, too safe too boring does not work for me, I am like TRUMP. I need a recipe that not only is not crap or OK, it has to solid, and AMAZING would be better. I have found some amazing, which has earned be great tips on my jobs, they are there. But the average recipe? OMG.

God Damn there is too much crap in this world

:rantoff:
Click to expand...

Trump can cook? I bet he's never been near a kitchen in his life.
 
Hawkeye10 said:
:ranton:

I am a retired professional chef, a pretty good one actually, plus I am working on a food blog so I am doing something I almost never do.....document what I do, including with pics....and I also am looking at online food blogs and what they do as I try to get up to speed on blogging.....and I have noticed that online recipes can be very very bad. In some cases I am sure that no one ever tried to cook the recipe even once, it is all BS. And the pictures?? OMG, food porn it is called, so perfect and unrealistic and too often flat out flaked... the pic is not of the recipe in question, maybe the food was amended to get it too look that good, or maybe it is of something else entirely(which can get to be funny when say you(F) see peas in that casserole when there are no peas called for). I mean this is as bad as the 1980's Rockford Il Gannett owned Rockford Morning Star newspaper routinely flunky conjured bad, and the newspaper recipes did get so bad that even my mom gave up on them, and they were her favorite part of the paper other than the obits (we shall not go there). I can kinda sorta get an idea in like 10 seconds if the recipe makes any sense and might the food produced by it taste good. The first thing with me is a fast look at the ingredients to see if the flavor combinations make any sense. I would say a good 25% time I say "they dont have xxx, this cant be right. If things still look good I look at the process, not because I am going to follow it cause I almost never do, I either know the way to do it already or I have a plan to experiment, but if the person who wrote the recipe does not know then I am done with this recipe, and most likely this blog. I am into baking now as hobby, something that I have pretty much never done, so I am online for that a lot. I do catering in Seattle, coffee and pastry sorts of deals, 20-100 people, needs to be Seattle quality or better, and a lot of times I am making something the day before, I dont have time to do it over, and I have never done it before. This gets to a thread I did here long ago about the culinary high wire act, does anyone else do this cause I love it, really gets the juices going....see I like to make things harder on myself than they need to be cause damn it I need to have my fun, too safe too boring does not work for me, I am like TRUMP. I need a recipe that not only is not crap or OK, it has to solid, and AMAZING would be better. I have found some amazing, which has earned be great tips on my jobs, they are there. But the average recipe? OMG.

God Damn there is too much crap in this world

:rantoff:
Click to expand...

We've noticed that.
 
Jetboogieman said:
Ah, so after all that, the actual objective of all this thread/rant was to get attention.
Click to expand...

So it was interesting then....that represents a quality post.

Scale of one to ten, how interesting?

And no.

tyvm
 
Last edited:
Hawkeye10 said:
:ranton:

I am a retired professional chef, a pretty good one actually, plus I am working on a food blog so I am doing something I almost never do.....document what I do, including with pics....and I also am looking at online food blogs and what they do as I try to get up to speed on blogging.....and I have noticed that online recipes can be very very bad. In some cases I am sure that no one ever tried to cook the recipe even once, it is all BS. And the pictures?? OMG, food porn it is called, so perfect and unrealistic and too often flat out flaked... the pic is not of the recipe in question, maybe the food was amended to get it too look that good, or maybe it is of something else entirely(which can get to be funny when say you(F) see peas in that casserole when there are no peas called for). I mean this is as bad as the 1980's Rockford Il Gannett owned Rockford Morning Star newspaper routinely flunky conjured bad, and the newspaper recipes did get so bad that even my mom gave up on them, and they were her favorite part of the paper other than the obits (we shall not go there). I can kinda sorta get an idea in like 10 seconds if the recipe makes any sense and might the food produced by it taste good. The first thing with me is a fast look at the ingredients to see if the flavor combinations make any sense. I would say a good 25% time I say "they dont have xxx, this cant be right. If things still look good I look at the process, not because I am going to follow it cause I almost never do, I either know the way to do it already or I have a plan to experiment, but if the person who wrote the recipe does not know then I am done with this recipe, and most likely this blog. I am into baking now as hobby, something that I have pretty much never done, so I am online for that a lot. I do catering in Seattle, coffee and pastry sorts of deals, 20-100 people, needs to be Seattle quality or better, and a lot of times I am making something the day before, I dont have time to do it over, and I have never done it before. This gets to a thread I did here long ago about the culinary high wire act, does anyone else do this cause I love it, really gets the juices going....see I like to make things harder on myself than they need to be cause damn it I need to have my fun, too safe too boring does not work for me, I am like TRUMP. I need a recipe that not only is not crap or OK, it has to solid, and AMAZING would be better. I have found some amazing, which has earned be great tips on my jobs, they are there. But the average recipe? OMG.

God Damn there is too much crap in this world

:rantoff:
Click to expand...

I am absolutely NOT a professional chef, but have a pretty good reputation as a home cook and also occasionaly running a large kitchen to feed a lot of people from a church crowd to the homeless. I would be tempted to try out for "Master Chef" (to find the best home cook) if they ever had try outs close to my locale, even though I am older than the usual contestants on that show.

So now that we have both established our credentials, I would like to address your thread topic.

I have actually tried a few of those recipes that are featured on Facebook and not one--count them, not ONE--has truly impressed me. Most are way long on good looks on the page and way short on flavor or the actual execution doesn't measure up to the picture or sales pitch.

And the few that might have had promise called for ingredients that I've never heard of or wouldn't be stocked at the local Albertsons. Then you read the accolades in the comments but note that most left out one or more listed ingredients and added such and such or doubled the whatever and it turned out great. But the great food that was turned out was something very different from the original recipe, yes?

And that brings me to a special pet peeve. How about recipes that teach you how to make something fantastic out of the stuff you have in your fridge and pantry? I mean is Himalayan ginger root really that much different than the one I picked up at Sprouts earlier today? If you don't happen to have Dead Sea salt on hand, won't table salt work just as well? That kind of thing. Yes Tumeric is credited with helping to cure everything from cancer to ulcerative colitis, but will my recipe for eight really suffer if I leave out the quarter teaspoon of tumeric the recipe calls for?

In other words I like to cook basic foods with basic ingredients that look outstanding and taste amazing and have folks clamoring for more. Is that too much to ask?
 
11Bravo said:
everyone has been near a kitchen.
Click to expand...

In the mansions he has lived in the kitchen is a long way from the living quarters.

55e9f8581d0000ea01146dbf.jpg

A real man of the people.
 
AlbqOwl said:
I am absolutely NOT a professional chef, but have a pretty good reputation as a home cook and also occasionaly running a large kitchen to feed a lot of people from a church crowd to the homeless. I would be tempted to try out for "Master Chef" (to find the best home cook) if they ever had try outs close to my locale, even though I am older than the usual contestants on that show.

So now that we have both established our credentials, I would like to address your thread topic.

I have actually tried a few of those recipes that are featured on Facebook and not one--count them, not ONE--has truly impressed me. Most are way long on good looks on the page and way short on flavor or the actual execution doesn't measure up to the picture or sales pitch.

And the few that might have had promise called for ingredients that I've never heard of or wouldn't be stocked at the local Albertsons. Then you read the accolades in the comments but note that most left out one or more listed ingredients and added such and such or doubled the whatever and it turned out great. But the great food that was turned out was something very different from the original recipe, yes?

And that brings me to a special pet peeve. How about recipes that teach you how to make something fantastic out of the stuff you have in your fridge and pantry? I mean is Himalayan ginger root really that much different than the one I picked up at Sprouts earlier today? If you don't happen to have Dead Sea salt on hand, won't table salt work just as well? That kind of thing. Yes Tumeric is credited with helping to cure everything from cancer to ulcerative colitis, but will my recipe for eight really suffer if I leave out the quarter teaspoon of tumeric the recipe calls for?

In other words I like to cook basic foods with basic ingredients that look outstanding and taste amazing and have folks clamoring for more. Is that too much to ask?
Click to expand...

I for sure have the same pet peeve, so much of the food blog world is made up of women who have nothing to do and need to look busy so they can act like they work like their men do, they dont represent America. America is not going to spend this kind of money on ingredients, and the people who could afford it probably call somebody and place an order if they want that product, they are not in their kitchens cooking. But maybe people read food blogs because we are daydreaming about our better life if only we can get there, maybe a big part of the demand for food blogs is aspirational.

I am for sure going to be a contrarian...my wife and I have since I retired picked a protein for week, then I make something awesome, then we have it on day 2 as a leftover. After that I do my best to transform the ingredients, and if I am going to eat the same protein for a week I had better do that well because otherwise I might get sick of eating that protein..success matters. I am going to not only write out what I do each day, but I am also going to say just a bit on why I went the way I did, which will often have to do with what I have around the house. Sometimes I even challenge myself by making it no allowed to go to the story, I need to figure it out with what I have, which is an OK pantry but not great.

I dont see a single blog like that, which probably means that it is a stupid idea, but it sounds like fun. I have no interest in most of what I see out there, and trying to do one of those kinds of blogs would be torture to me...all perfect...and expensive, which I cant do anyways because of the bankruptcy. Will anyone read it IDK, I care about that in a winning/losing way, counting eyeballs is like counting money to see if we are winning or not, but at base I dont care much.

Having fun is the main thing.
 
I used online recipes as a starting point only...as a way to get an idea of how something specific is...the basis of it. Take...stroganoff. I'll use an online recipe to realize that it's not just heavy cream, it needs sour cream, too. But then I add my own flare, like a touch of chili powder and smoked paprika. Or a cheese cake recipe, to get a basis, then I add peanut butter, and minus out a little cream cheese to keep the batch size the same, and make a brownie crust.

I use them to figure out how to make new things, and then make those things my own.
 
11Bravo said:
theres not one American that wouldnt wanna have that kinda cash. lol u couldnt sound more jelus.
Click to expand...

This American considers himself fortunate that he has never had anything approaching "that kinda cash."
 
11Bravo said:
u must represent the 350 million
Click to expand...

Naa, man. Some of the best times I have ever had was when I didn't have a pit to poss in. Some of the worst times I've ever had were when I had more money than I knew what to do with. Happiness for me is somewhere in the middle of the two extremes.

When I was making a lot of money I discovered almost too late that it was too much money for me. Everyone has their own personal limit and it is my belief that most of us don't know where that limit is until we reach it. Some, many, most (?) never know even after they reach their personal limit.

I'm a fortunate person. I somehow figured it out; too much money mad me an asshole and being an asshole made me and the people around me miserable. It happens probably more than we all realize.

In no way am I saying that you couldn't be a good human being while having great wealth. I just know that I couldn't and I was never close to great wealth.
 
I am a retired professional chef, a pretty good one actually ...
Click to expand...
Sometimes I even challenge myself by making it no allowed to go to the story, I need to figure it out with what I have, which is an OK pantry but not great.
Click to expand...
this does not speak to professionalism from my limited vantage
if your pantry is missing something essential to cook a professionally prepared product, and you failed to include it because of a limited pantry, then it was not a professionally prepared item
you took a shortcut; no different than a mechanic returning your vehicle without installing an essential part, only because it was not available to him when he was performing the repair. he half-assed it ... and you did, too

I do catering in Seattle, coffee and pastry sorts of deals, 20-100 people, needs to be Seattle quality or better, and a lot of times I am making something the day before, I dont have time to do it over, and I have never done it before. This gets to a thread I did here long ago about the culinary high wire act, does anyone else do this cause I love it, really gets the juices going....see I like to make things harder on myself than they need to be cause damn it I need to have my fun, too safe too boring does not work for me ...
Click to expand...
to me, this speaks to the cause of your business bankruptcy
you accepted a catering assignment and dared offer a recipe you had never first attempted. good, bad, or indifferent, you are left with having to serve the catered guests the food you prepared
you insist this is having your fun, getting your high-wire thrills. and i see that as being very selfish and indifferent to the needs of your client
what if that untried recipe sux?! you have possibly ruined your client's affair - as well as your reputation as a caterer
you said it yourself:
... Damn there is too much crap in this world
Click to expand...





that said, i recognize the resemblance:
... I am like TRUMP
Click to expand...
 
KevinKohler said:
I used online recipes as a starting point only...as a way to get an idea of how something specific is...the basis of it. Take...stroganoff. I'll use an online recipe to realize that it's not just heavy cream, it needs sour cream, too. But then I add my own flare, like a touch of chili powder and smoked paprika. Or a cheese cake recipe, to get a basis, then I add peanut butter, and minus out a little cream cheese to keep the batch size the same, and make a brownie crust.

I use them to figure out how to make new things, and then make those things my own.
Click to expand...

Ditto.
 
11Bravo said:
theres not one American that wouldnt wanna have that kinda cash. lol u couldnt sound more jelus.
Click to expand...

What does "jelus" mean? We usually post in English here.
 
KevinKohler said:
I used online recipes as a starting point only...as a way to get an idea of how something specific is...the basis of it. Take...stroganoff. I'll use an online recipe to realize that it's not just heavy cream, it needs sour cream, too. But then I add my own flare, like a touch of chili powder and smoked paprika. Or a cheese cake recipe, to get a basis, then I add peanut butter, and minus out a little cream cheese to keep the batch size the same, and make a brownie crust.

I use them to figure out how to make new things, and then make those things my own.
Click to expand...
Same here. They're good as a starting point, or if you like uber-bland, but that's about it. I also add my own touches. If you read the comments on most of them you can see that most people do the same thing. I suspect that if you're a bad cook it doesn't matter anyway.
 
11Bravo said:
jelus is when u want somethin some1 else has
Click to expand...

Why has this some person got a number? Quit trolling, type English and stick to the topic of the thread please.
 
zyzygy said:
Why has this some person got a number? Quit trolling, type English and stick to the topic of the thread please.
Click to expand...

they r called shortcuts. my kids u using them. trying to learn so i can keep up w/ there sms text messaging system
 
11Bravo said:
they r called shortcuts. my kids u using them. trying to learn so i can keep up w/ there sms text messaging system
Click to expand...

We are not texting each other here.
 
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