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Thread: The Bad Boy Syndrome

  1. #11
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    Re: The Bad Boy Syndrome

    Quote Originally Posted by lwf View Post
    True. Depends on how ones defines "bad boy." But the women who are attracted to someone you define as a "bad boy" are unlikely to share your definition of "bad boy" don't you agree? Don't you think they probably look at the men they see as "bad boys" and see the qualities I listed rather than the ones you listed?

    An ordinary man can have all of those qualities. "Bad boys" project these qualities in spades. Much like ordinary women can have qualities that men find attractive, but women who project their assets often get more attention than those who don't.
    The difference is, the ones you're describing exhibit flaws that some women are convinced that they were born to fix.
    "If only I could fix him, he'd be PERFECT!"

    Not trying to toot any bad boy horn but I can confidently say I've lived a pretty exciting life...well...maybe not in the last four or five years but that's because I'm becoming old and decrepit, but I sure had a lot of fun.

    And for some reason the women I wind up in long term relationships with always find me after they've exited a relationship with the poster child for bad boy syndrome.

    My first wife was previously married to a famous Hollywood screenwriter.
    He produced the original Red Dawn movie and "Raid On Entebbe", hung out with other famous "bad boys" like John Milius, Jan Michael Vincent, Gary Busey, he drove the requisite custom Porsche, and performed the requisite weekly or even daily beatings on his wife, after which he would magnanimously throw a few thousand in cash at her and tell her to "go shopping".
    After one beating where he dislocated her upper jaw, broke her lower jaw and fractured her cheekbone, she had enough, and stuffed it all down for a few years and wandered into my life.

    And then, about two or three years later, after enough booze and cocaine, all that previous baggage came boiling back up and suddenly it was as if she had psychologically pasted Barry's face over mine. She would even call me "Barry" while in one of her drunken hazes. I never laid a hand on her, not once.

    So I guess I might have a bit of personal firsthand experience with the women who seek out bad boys. Linda spent years talking about how she wished she could just fix Barry's issues. Well, you can't. And sometimes some women go through their entire lives refusing to accept that.
    Or...they go through life saying:

    dog this-is-fine.1.jpg

    My wife, the one I should have married in the first place...HER first husband, also a certifiable "bad boy". She paid innumerable DUI's, replaced innumerable wrecked cars, took beatings, bailed him out of jail on innumerable assault charges, etc.
    And then he walked out on their marriage after she bore him a disabled son.

    And I almost ended up shooting him one night in Dallas, after he threatened the both of us in our own home. No, I am not happy about that. Yes, I am glad it didn't happen.
    Last edited by Checkerboard Strangler; 05-15-19 at 08:19 PM.

  2. #12
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    Re: The Bad Boy Syndrome

    Alpha fux, beta bux. The bad boy gets to turn her tight hot pocket into a ham and cheese. The beta gets her after she's worn out, but has to spend full retail on her, meaning fully support her. Whodathunk that being incapable of empathy would make me a "bad boy" to at least some women. I'm sure that there are others very much more so, but the phenomenon is interesting. I still don't understand why my wife became MORE attracted to me after finding out I was a sex tourist. I'm glad she is, but I don't understand why.

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    Re: The Bad Boy Syndrome

    Quote Originally Posted by lwf View Post
    Straight women like men period. Take the sexual factor out: Regardless of your gender or sexual orientation, who would you rather spend a Friday night with? Someone who is confident, exciting, fearless, and always shows you a good time, or someone predictable, boring, easily daunted, and needy?

    "Bad boys" are men with qualities we all wish we had and we all prefer to spend time with people who exhibit qualities we admire and want to cultivate in ourselves.
    Someone who's predictable.
    Let go and let God


  4. #14
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    Re: The Bad Boy Syndrome

    Quote Originally Posted by KevinKohler View Post
    Danger and wrongness are exciting. Its not rocket science.
    I think you may be right this time: it's psychology, not rocket science.
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    Re: The Bad Boy Syndrome

    I'm too tired to give a an in-depth reply, but by 'bad-boy', we might not all be talking about the same thing. Some people project a 'bad-boy' persona, but are actually harmless. Others may seem like harmless guys who act tough, but are are actually showing some real signs of a truly vicious and toxic nature.

    When I was growing up, my mother was in a really bad relationship with a guy who became increasingly unhinged as the years went on. Or perhaps, I simply noticed it more. Her reasons for falling for that type of person were probably not different from the reasons that I initially admired him. He was charismatic.

  6. #16
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    Re: The Bad Boy Syndrome

    Quote Originally Posted by Angel View Post
    I think you may be right this time: it's psychology, not rocket science.
    Lol, yeah, yeah. Nice one.

    Why do people street race when there's a drag strip right down the road? Why do people do their own fireworks when the town they live in does a much larger, more extravagant (and completely safe) show on the same night?

    As kids, we get hard wired to not wanting to do what we are told, and that stays with us into adulthood.
    Quote Originally Posted by calamity View Post
    Reports indicate that everyone knew he was hauling a bunch of guns up there. But, since you brought it up, there's something which should be illegal: guns that breakdown.

  7. #17
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    Re: The Bad Boy Syndrome

    Quote Originally Posted by Checkerboard Strangler View Post
    The difference is, the ones you're describing exhibit flaws that some women are convinced that they were born to fix.
    "If only I could fix him, he'd be PERFECT!"

    Not trying to toot any bad boy horn but I can confidently say I've lived a pretty exciting life...well...maybe not in the last four or five years but that's because I'm becoming old and decrepit, but I sure had a lot of fun.

    And for some reason the women I wind up in long term relationships with always find me after they've exited a relationship with the poster child for bad boy syndrome.

    My first wife was previously married to a famous Hollywood screenwriter.
    He produced the original Red Dawn movie and "Raid On Entebbe", hung out with other famous "bad boys" like John Milius, Jan Michael Vincent, Gary Busey, he drove the requisite custom Porsche, and performed the requisite weekly or even daily beatings on his wife, after which he would magnanimously throw a few thousand in cash at her and tell her to "go shopping".
    After one beating where he dislocated her upper jaw, broke her lower jaw and fractured her cheekbone, she had enough, and stuffed it all down for a few years and wandered into my life.

    And then, about two or three years later, after enough booze and cocaine, all that previous baggage came boiling back up and suddenly it was as if she had psychologically pasted Barry's face over mine. She would even call me "Barry" while in one of her drunken hazes. I never laid a hand on her, not once.

    So I guess I might have a bit of personal firsthand experience with the women who seek out bad boys. Linda spent years talking about how she wished she could just fix Barry's issues. Well, you can't. And sometimes some women go through their entire lives refusing to accept that.
    Or...they go through life saying:

    dog this-is-fine.1.jpg

    My wife, the one I should have married in the first place...HER first husband, also a certifiable "bad boy". She paid innumerable DUI's, replaced innumerable wrecked cars, took beatings, bailed him out of jail on innumerable assault charges, etc.
    And then he walked out on their marriage after she bore him a disabled son.

    And I almost ended up shooting him one night in Dallas, after he threatened the both of us in our own home. No, I am not happy about that. Yes, I am glad it didn't happen.
    Good point. There are always people who enjoy a good "project." I find this to be a red flag, personally. If someone thinks I need to change, then they obviously are looking for someone else and have mistaken me for them.

  8. #18
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    Re: The Bad Boy Syndrome

    Quote Originally Posted by Lovebug View Post
    Someone who's predictable.
    I like predictable too. I like women who I can predict with 100% certainty are going to keep me on my toes.

  9. #19
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    Re: The Bad Boy Syndrome

    Here's a fun fact: Different women have different tastes and desires. It's as if no two are alike!
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  10. #20
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    Re: The Bad Boy Syndrome

    Quote Originally Posted by Angel View Post
    The Bad Boy Syndrome

    Thread inspired by Wan's thread found here:

    The Nice Guy Syndrome

    Why are women drawn to "bad boys" -- the rebels and heels and assholes of the masculine persuasion?

    Or is this just a stereotype?

    Or have things changed in the last forty years with the advent of the New Millennial Woman?

    As Wan says: Let's share our thoughts.
    I don't know. My mom admitted she was attracted to the bad boys, i.e. wrong kind of guys. She married two of them (not at the same time of course) and after the second divorce gave up. But she did continue to date and sure enough she dated the bad boys. She had the chance to get serious about a guy who happened to attend the church my husband and I attended and we were really hoping that would work out for her. He was reasonably well off and could have taken care of her, was a good Christian, a pillar of the community, all round good guy and all that. But alas he bored her.

    And looking at other friends and associates who seemed to be drawn to guys who were going to lie to them, cheat on them, disrespect them, even mistreat them, coupled with my mom's experience, I think that might be the real reason. Certain women find good men boring. And boring is pretty deadly in any relationship.
    --Nobody deserves to be automatically judged guilty just because somebody accuses them. The accusation itself could be the crime.
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