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Thread: Are religious beliefs important when looking for a partner?

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    Are religious beliefs important when looking for a partner?

    When you start dating someone with the goal of establishing a long-term relationship that might lead to marriage, how important are their religious beliefs for you? Would you date someone you liked and got along well with if they adhered to a different religion and were pretty obvious about trying to convert you? Do you think a relationship would work if the partners were believers, but belonged to different religions (e.g. Christian and Buddhist) or different denominations of the same religion (e.g. Orthodox and Protestant)?

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    Re: Are religious beliefs important when looking for a partner?

    I’d argue that it isn’t religion that prevents relationships from working, it’s people. We know it’s possible for long-term relationships between people of different religions to work because there are plenty of real examples out there. It’s also demonstrably possible for relationships to break up over differences of socio-political opinions that have nothing to do with any religion at all. It two people really want to be together, they’ll find a way to accommodate all their differences one way or another.

    Active efforts to convert feel like a different matter and while it’s perfectly understandable to want your partner to share in your religion and it can be raised though I’d expect it to be relatively early in the relationship, certain before marriage is being considered. It doesn’t feel healthy for a relationship if it’s a ongoing pressure.

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    Re: Are religious beliefs important when looking for a partner?

    If it is required that one MUST fully adopt the religion of the other, then no. It would be too miserable, if not impossible, to pretend to be very religious for a religion you do not actually believe.

    If both are FULLY tolerant of a significant religious difference between them, then yes it can work just fine.

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    Re: Are religious beliefs important when looking for a partner?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lucian Hodoboc View Post
    When you start dating someone with the goal of establishing a long-term relationship that might lead to marriage, how important are their religious beliefs for you? Would you date someone you liked and got along well with if they adhered to a different religion and were pretty obvious about trying to convert you? Do you think a relationship would work if the partners were believers, but belonged to different religions (e.g. Christian and Buddhist) or different denominations of the same religion (e.g. Orthodox and Protestant)?
    While I can be friends with a broad scope of people, I don't think I could ever be in relationship with a religious person, or someone that didn't share similar political views. I'm too passionate about both subjects for it to work. Here, people don't have to put up with me 24/7. I'm often playing Richard Dawkins and Secular Talk vids over YouTube, something that anyone living with me ends up getting subjected to. I've actually put a great deal of thought into this, and with the way I am, and what any spouse would have to put up with, I think I'd end up getting shanked in my sleep, lol.

    I don't ussually have a problem with friends and acquaintances on this front, but I'm basically barred from talking about politics by some family members. As soon as someone says, 'How 'bout them Cardinals?' it's a signal for me to shut the **** up.

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    Re: Are religious beliefs important when looking for a partner?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lucian Hodoboc View Post
    When you start dating someone with the goal of establishing a long-term relationship that might lead to marriage, how important are their religious beliefs for you? Would you date someone you liked and got along well with if they adhered to a different religion and were pretty obvious about trying to convert you? Do you think a relationship would work if the partners were believers, but belonged to different religions (e.g. Christian and Buddhist) or different denominations of the same religion (e.g. Orthodox and Protestant)?
    I think that it is important to avoid freaks no matter what they believe or do not believe.
    "There is nothing I dread So much, as a Division of the Republick into two great Parties, each arranged under its Leader, and concerting Measures in opposition to each other. This, in my humble Apprehension is to be dreaded as the greatest political Evil, under our Constitution." - John Adams

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    Re: Are religious beliefs important when looking for a partner?

    Quote Originally Posted by DH Kirkwood View Post
    While I can be friends with a broad scope of people, I don't think I could ever be in relationship with a religious person, or someone that didn't share similar political views. I'm too passionate about both subjects for it to work. Here, people don't have to put up with me 24/7. I'm often playing Richard Dawkins and Secular Talk vids over YouTube, something that anyone living with me ends up getting subjected to. I've actually put a great deal of thought into this, and with the way I am, and what any spouse would have to put up with, I think I'd end up getting shanked in my sleep, lol.

    I don't ussually have a problem with friends and acquaintances on this front, but I'm basically barred from talking about politics by some family members. As soon as someone says, 'How 'bout them Cardinals?' it's a signal for me to shut the **** up.
    How 'bout them Cardinals?
    "There is nothing I dread So much, as a Division of the Republick into two great Parties, each arranged under its Leader, and concerting Measures in opposition to each other. This, in my humble Apprehension is to be dreaded as the greatest political Evil, under our Constitution." - John Adams

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    Re: Are religious beliefs important when looking for a partner?

    Quote Originally Posted by freedomfromall View Post
    how 'bout them cardinals?
    . . . .

    :p

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    Re: Are religious beliefs important when looking for a partner?

    Absolutely paramount. I wouldn’t even have considered dating my wife if our beliefs were not compatible. It’s not that it could not work, but it’s too much risk IMO. Far too many compatible partners to even waste time with it.
    “Tyranny is defined as that which is legal for the government but illegal for the citizenry.”
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    Re: Are religious beliefs important when looking for a partner?

    Quote Originally Posted by Aberration View Post
    Absolutely paramount. I wouldn’t even have considered dating my wife if our beliefs were not compatible. It’s not that it could not work, but it’s too much risk IMO. Far too many compatible partners to even waste time with it.
    Agreed...been there, done that...got the T-shirt to prove it...
    "No man can come to me unless the Father, who sent me, draws him..." John 6:44

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    Re: Are religious beliefs important when looking for a partner?

    Quote Originally Posted by Aberration View Post
    Absolutely paramount. I wouldn’t even have considered dating my wife if our beliefs were not compatible. It’s not that it could not work, but it’s too much risk IMO. Far too many compatible partners to even waste time with it.
    Meh...it depends on what type of people are involved. My wife is Baptist, I'm Lutheran - not exactly "gentile and Jew", but close enough. We don't argue about religious differences ever, and have worked out a way to expose our son to both points of view, so when he's old enough he can decide for himself. Love and mutual respect go a long way.

    Thing is, you can easily get along with people who's beliefs differ, so long as both people respect each other's differences, and haven't deluded themselves into thinking they have all the answers.

    Some people can do that, others cannot. I would expect that those who cannot would be a pain in the ass to deal with on any front, even if matched perfectly religiously. To me that's the bigger thing to watch out for.
    Life's too short...

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