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Are religious beliefs important when looking for a partner?

My son is 6, and he is unbaptized.

Good pickup on what the main issue would be, though...hehe...

My side of the family was disappointed, but ultimately the timing of baptism doesn't impact one's chance of being saved, so it wasn't a fight I was willing to have. And while my side of the family was disappointed, hers would have set the town on fire, so...hehe... We chose peace.
I have to interject and say I find this whole thread a bit weird. If religion is so great, how come their is so much disagreement that people need to seek out a partner with the same beliefs or it just won't work? That just seems weird to me. What it basically says is the same old tired thing, your god is not my god and my god is the only true god. Fighting over religion, isn't it wonderful?
 
Yes. I would prefer someone with no religious beliefs.

can you imagine dating someone who brought their religion into the bedroom?

I guess these folks exist though. Nut jobs.
 
I have to interject and say I find this whole thread a bit weird. If religion is so great, how come their is so much disagreement that people need to seek out a partner with the same beliefs or it just won't work? That just seems weird to me. What it basically says is the same old tired thing, your god is not my god and my god is the only true god. Fighting over religion, isn't it wonderful?

Two people, two religions, two one true God's!

LOL, dolts.
 
can you imagine dating someone who brought their religion into the bedroom?

I guess these folks exist though. Nut jobs.
I have a friend who is so immoral it's amazing. She cannot seem to control her sexual urges but not to worry, god will take care of everything. Just wild sexually but I couldn't put up with all of that god stuff especially when she's had too much to drink. Ironically she has recently had a severe stroke. So much for god taking care of her.
 
I have to interject and say I find this whole thread a bit weird. If religion is so great, how come their is so much disagreement that people need to seek out a partner with the same beliefs or it just won't work? That just seems weird to me. What it basically says is the same old tired thing, your god is not my god and my god is the only true god. Fighting over religion, isn't it wonderful?

I'm not sure anyone's fighting, and it follows societal norms. When picking a partner, you are highly likely to look for someone with common interests, beliefs, values, maybe even politics. I'm sure a 7th level Vegan isn't going to marry the butcher, that sort of thing. Sure, there are exceptions, we're definitely speaking in generalizations, but in general, people don't tend to do well in relationships if they disagree on core beliefs beyond a certain threshold.

Also, you can't control what goes on outside of your immediate sphere of influence. People will fight about literally anything and everything. My concern is peace in MY house. If the people are worth making slight sacrifices for, I'll do it - this is the case with my wife's family, who think differently that I do regarding faith. So, when they're around, because I love my wife, who loves them, I don't make it an issue. It's not that hard to do. When they leave, we go back to our life. When inappropriate influence is attempted, we politely inform them of our boundaries, and life goes on. It's amazing what can happen when you refuse to be a part of the fight. You don't have to win, you don't have to lose, you just do you. That's the Goldilocks zone, in my opinion.

Fighting over everything sucks, and we do it all the time. What I never understand is why some folks want to treat religion as if it was a one off...lol... I'd say far more people are fighting over politics than religion at this point. Tomorrow it'll be something else. The subject changes, but not the participants. Human beings are fighty, I guess...hehe...

Anyway...hopefully this doesn't seem as weird to you. To me it seems rather common, if regrettable...something that could describe any number of human phenomenon. :)
 
Two people, two religions, two one true God's!

LOL, dolts.

Sorry, was that aimed at me? I ask because you're quoting a quote of my post. If it was aimed at me I can clarify the situation, as you're not quite accurately describing it.
 
Yes. More importantly, so was my wife.

Dumb rules exist to be gamed.

Where there is opportunity, there will be opportunists. All one needs is to abandon conscience.
 
can you imagine dating someone who brought their religion into the bedroom?

I guess these folks exist though. Nut jobs.


Is Kama Sutra a religion?

;)
 
Where there is opportunity, there will be opportunists. All one needs is to abandon conscience.

Conscience exists to prevent harm. Me smiling and nodding through confirmation didn't harm anyone.
 
The more important question is “is she” I doubt she’s terribly invested in the faith if she accepted this.

She's not. She wanted the pretty wedding. Since then, we have been in church two (2) times, for the baptism of our kids, so that if they choose to embrace the faith, they wouldn't have to start from scratch.

So the last time any of us were in church would have been about 25 years go.
 
Conscience exists to prevent harm. Me smiling and nodding through confirmation didn't harm anyone.
Well except your soul. Because now you won’t be able to claim ignorance before the throne during your judgement.

you will also be held accountable to the soul of your wife since if you paid attention the church expects you to head the household and provide the spiritual direction to your family.
 
Well except your soul. Because now you won’t be able to claim ignorance before the throne during your judgement.

you will also be held accountable to the soul of your wife since if you paid attention the church expects you to head the household and provide the spiritual direction to your family.

If there is ever conflict between your conscience and common sense vs what the church tells you to do, which would you choose?
 
If there is ever conflict between your conscience and common sense vs what the church tells you to do, which would you choose?
Such a thing never happens. The moral philosophy of the Catholic Church is ordained by the creator who is all good. Any feelings of mine to the contrary are the temptations of the evil one and are thus to be ignored.
 
Conscience exists to prevent harm. Me smiling and nodding through confirmation didn't harm anyone.

"Conscience exists to prevent harm"? Well, how novel.
If there is ever conflict between your conscience and common sense vs what the church tells you to do, which would you choose?

I've never experienced any conflict.
 
I've never experienced any conflict.

That can’t be right. If your religion is always telling you to do the things that you like to do anyway, that’s just a projection of your most current opinions and beliefs to your God and religion. You are always having God say what would you like for Him to say. You you are putting your opinions in the mouth of God and using Him as your mouthpiece.

I am talking about something like the story of Abraham and Isaac: when God is commanding you to do something that you may find shocking and abhorrent. What would you do if you had a command like that- to slit your own son’s throat to prove your faith and loyalty? It’s clear which lesson the Bible is trying to teach there. Do you buy that lesson?
 
That can’t be right. If your religion is always telling you to do the things that you like to do anyway, that’s just a projection of your most current opinions and beliefs to your God and religion. You are always having God say what would you like for Him to say. You you are putting your opinions in the mouth of God and using Him as your mouthpiece.

I am talking about something like the story of Abraham and Isaac: when God is commanding you to do something that you may find shocking and abhorrent. What would you do if you had a command like that- to slit your own son’s throat to prove your faith and loyalty? It’s clear which lesson the Bible is trying to teach there. Do you buy that lesson?

I'm saying that there has never been any conflict between my conscience and my good sense and what I've been taught and have heard in church. And just who are you to tell me "That can't be right"? How very presumptuous of you to claim that I put my opinions in God's mouth when you don't know me, are unfamiliar with my opinions, and have no idea which church I attend?

Since you pretend to know what I think and believe, I'll just let you tell me what the lesson of Abraham and his son is and what I should think about it. And I'll even help you by sharing this Emily Dickinson poem you'll doubtless enjoy: https://www.poemhunter.com/poem/abraham-to-kill-him/
 
I'm saying that there has never been any conflict between my conscience and my good sense and what I've been taught and have heard in church. And just who are you to tell me "That can't be right"? How very presumptuous of you to claim that I put my opinions in God's mouth when you don't know me, are unfamiliar with my opinions, and have no idea which church I attend?

Since you pretend to know what I think and believe, I'll just let you tell me what the lesson of Abraham and his son is and what I should think about it. And I'll even help you by sharing this Emily Dickinson poem you'll doubtless enjoy: https://www.poemhunter.com/poem/abraham-to-kill-him/

You are denying your personal opinions and God’s will can ever be in conflict. Don’t you find that a little uncanny? Clearly the story of Abraham and Isaac suggests that should not always be the case.

Stop the faux outrage about being personally insulted that I presume to know anything about you. This is a question in the abstract: there are times when conscience and God’s command come into conflict. There have to be if this God is telling you anything you didnt already know and means anything. Otherwise, you are just using Him as your personal bullhorn.
 
You are denying your personal opinions and God’s will can ever be in conflict. Don’t you find that a little uncanny? Clearly the story of Abraham and Isaac suggests that should not always be the case.

Stop the faux outrage about being personally insulted that I presume to know anything about you. This is a question in the abstract: there are times when conscience and God’s command come into conflict. There have to be if this God is telling you anything you didnt already know and means anything. Otherwise, you are just using Him as your personal bullhorn.

Maybe if you provide some examples of where you think this conflict would arise, your question would be a little easier to answer? I'd take a stab at it.

And don't assume "faux" in front of the outrage. You're asking people to share their personal feelings and beliefs, you don't get to tell them what they're saying is right or wrong, anymore than they get to tell you the same when you share your personal feelings or beliefs. Pretty basic etiquette there, bud. Question aspects that perhaps you don't understand or would like clarified, but anything beyond that is pretty arrogant. It is a privilege to be given personal insights, no matter who they come from. Shitting on them is generally pretty bad form. If you're struggling to understand the problem, it's kinda like how atheists get pissed when Christians tell them atheism a belief.
 
You are denying your personal opinions and God’s will can ever be in conflict. Don’t you find that a little uncanny? Clearly the story of Abraham and Isaac suggests that should not always be the case.

Stop the faux outrage about being personally insulted that I presume to know anything about you. This is a question in the abstract: there are times when conscience and God’s command come into conflict. There have to be if this God is telling you anything you didnt already know and means anything. Otherwise, you are just using Him as your personal bullhorn.

Please tell me when God's command and my conscience have come into conflict.
 
I'm not sure anyone's fighting, and it follows societal norms. When picking a partner, you are highly likely to look for someone with common interests, beliefs, values, maybe even politics. I'm sure a 7th level Vegan isn't going to marry the butcher, that sort of thing. Sure, there are exceptions, we're definitely speaking in generalizations, but in general, people don't tend to do well in relationships if they disagree on core beliefs beyond a certain threshold.

Also, you can't control what goes on outside of your immediate sphere of influence. People will fight about literally anything and everything. My concern is peace in MY house. If the people are worth making slight sacrifices for, I'll do it - this is the case with my wife's family, who think differently that I do regarding faith. So, when they're around, because I love my wife, who loves them, I don't make it an issue. It's not that hard to do. When they leave, we go back to our life. When inappropriate influence is attempted, we politely inform them of our boundaries, and life goes on. It's amazing what can happen when you refuse to be a part of the fight. You don't have to win, you don't have to lose, you just do you. That's the Goldilocks zone, in my opinion.

Fighting over everything sucks, and we do it all the time. What I never understand is why some folks want to treat religion as if it was a one off...lol... I'd say far more people are fighting over politics than religion at this point. Tomorrow it'll be something else. The subject changes, but not the participants. Human beings are fighty, I guess...hehe...

Anyway...hopefully this doesn't seem as weird to you. To me it seems rather common, if regrettable...something that could describe any number of human phenomenon. :)
Nate look at the way folks in the gop view muslims and how crazy muslims view others who are not muslim. Fighting about religion has gone on for centuries as I'm sure you are aware. However we are speaking of two people and not the masses. I have a cousin who was brought up catholic as I was and she is pretty religious. She married someone from a different religion who refused to become a catholic and so she became his religion. Is it really that important? Isn't it enough to believe in jesus christ? I am also like you, I want my life to be gentle waves not an emotional roller coaster. For those we love we make sacrifices but changing religions is baffling to me.
 
Nate look at the way folks in the gop view muslims and how crazy muslims view others who are not muslim. Fighting about religion has gone on for centuries as I'm sure you are aware. However we are speaking of two people and not the masses. I have a cousin who was brought up catholic as I was and she is pretty religious. She married someone from a different religion who refused to become a catholic and so she became his religion. Is it really that important? Isn't it enough to believe in jesus christ? I am also like you, I want my life to be gentle waves not an emotional roller coaster. For those we love we make sacrifices but changing religions is baffling to me.

It's going to vary person by person, bud. It's tempting to say the world would be perfect if everyone was like me, but pretty quickly it becomes apparent that that would be boring AF. :)

I feel like most of the things we discuss down here are broader issues than maybe we allow. Asking someone to change anything fundamental about themselves is a tricky thing, and people will react differently to it. My wife and I are not different religions, but we are different denominations within the same religion that don't really align on some big topics. Baptism was mentioned, for example. There are family pressures that exist, and include the religious stuff, but also whose family hosts Christmas or Thanksgiving, whether or not a particular uncle would be remembered in our son's middle name, whether or not our kid should be vaccinated (yup, we got those in the mix too...lol). The list is endless, as I would imagine it to be in any family, but the vast majority of it is well meaning. Some of it has merit, and is worth listening to. Some of it is an easy concession to make when they're around, such as being discreet about not leaving my rum on my desk when her folks come around. And some of it gets met with a firm but respectful rejection. And we all still come together and love one another....it's on me, whether or not I let disapproving glances get to me, or if I let it remain their problem - whether their issue is religious, or any of the other things that people feel strongly about - we do NOT discuss politics...lol...at all.

For me, I can see making these decisions as a personal thing. I could be in a relationship with a person who has no religion, or holds a different religion than I do, but I could not be in a relationship with someone who demanded I changed a core belief to be with them. But while I did not set out to look for a "good Christian girl" (I didn't even really find out about my wife's religious background until it was time to meet her family), it is nice to be with someone who can understand the way I view the world, and shares that view to some extent. But that's me. :) Everyone has their own story and their own stuff. And shitty things happen. It sucks that shitty things happen in connection with religion, but I don't see it as being any more or less shitty than if the issue was about anything else.

Not sure if that makes sense, I feel like I might be simultaneously agreeing and disagreeing with you, but I suppose relationships, and life, are complicated, and there is rarely a binary outcome, soo... A rambling, confusing discussion about relationships, or anything human really, is probably what one should expect. ;)
 
Well except your soul. Because now you won’t be able to claim ignorance before the throne during your judgement.

you will also be held accountable to the soul of your wife since if you paid attention the church expects you to head the household and provide the spiritual direction to your family.


My belief in God does not hold him to be a petty tyrant or an egomaniac.

Also, the church can go **** itself. We operate just fine as a team. I didn't marry a doormat.
 
My belief in God does not hold him to be a petty tyrant or an egomaniac.

Also, the church can go **** itself. We operate just fine as a team. I didn't marry a doormat.

Just for the record, EMN does not speak for "the Church".
 
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