Completely disagree. I love nice guys -- I've only dated nice guys. I'd never been interested in anyone who isn't a nice guy.
I'm not referring specifically to you. I'm referring to the royal you.
But there is a line between "nice guy" and "doormat". There are nice guys who aren't afraid to stand up for themselves or hold opposing opinions to their girl. There are nice guys who are confident, decision-makers and know how to compromise when there's a disagreement. Those aren't "TOO nice" guys.
Right, but you do understand that this is all subjective in relation to you? Your perception of who is a doormat that is too nice versus who is just the right amount is a sliding scale that is entirely relative to you.
For many men, it isn't a lack of confidence that keeps them from "standing up for themselves." It is a belief that they are strong enough to make some sacrifices to help make things easier for you. It's not fear or insecurity, it is if anything an abundance of security. They see it as having thick skin, and not letting trivial **** bother them. But if you disagree about what is trivial and what is not you see them as a doormat for not standing up for themselves. If you yourself have very thin skin, you're going to have a tendency to see more men as weak even though it's actually you that is weak.
TOO nice guys are doormats. They're puppy dogs. They will do anything and everything their girl says even if they disagree. They're afraid to stand up for themselves, afraid to voice a differing opinion and aren't good decision makers because they're constantly worried that, God forbid, their girl might disagree.
Again, it's not that they're afraid that their girl might disagree. It's that in their minds it doesn't matter much to them. They're good either way so they see it as doing you a favor and going with what you want since both are found.
I remember a while back I went on a trip with this girl I was interested in. I kept letting her decide where we went and what restaurants we ate at. Too me it didn't matter. I knew I'd have fun either way, but after the trip was over she freaked out about it as if I was somehow weak and indecisive for not being able to choose. It had nothing to do with being able to choose, it just didn't matter to me so I thought I'd be nice and let her pick.
What I realized, later on, is that too her, choosing was hard. She was afraid to choose because she was worried she'd make a bad choice, and I would judge her negatively for it. She wanted me to choose so that she could judge me. Nowadays when I go on a date I always choose. Unless the girl I'm with stops me and indicates she doesn't like my choice I just keep making them. It's not that I got stronger or became less of a doormat, it's that I simply realized how insecure most women are and that many find it difficult to make decisions.
I don't know why everything always has to go back to Trump and politics.
I don't find "bold and brash" a turn-on at all. I find sweet, romantic, funny and confident a turn-on.
Well, the sad reality is that this whole conversation really speaks to what is going on with the alt-right, the incels, the MRA, redpill, the PUA d-bags. It is an inability of these men to navigate this issue that drives them to the extremes of misogyny, and that is what Trump and the Republican party rely on for their most ardent supporters.