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But that's just the point. Men don't actually do that. Women just convince themselves that men are trying to do that in order to justify not liking them. Men learn at a very early age that women don't sleep with you because you're nice. If all you want to do is get laid you're better off projecting dominance and confidence. So when are trying to be excessively nice to a girl it isn't because they're trying to get laid. Or at least it's not because they're trying to ONLY get laid. They do it because of they legitimately like a girl and want something long term. They believe themselves to be in love whether they are or not.
The guys who are trying to manipulate a woman into sex are the ones who are intentionally not nice. In the PUA world, it's called negging. They treat a woman poorly to ruin herself confidence and get her looking up to him. Sadly a lot of younger more insecure women judge their own personal value relative to the way men treat them. If a man treats them like a princess she thinks he is a desperate doormat who is beneath her. If a guy treats a woman like **** she thinks he must be a really impressive guy who is above her and therefore someone she should be after.
Most women grow out of this a bit as they mature, but it seems like every woman has to date at least three complete **** heads before she starts figuring it out.
I get what you're saying. But whether the goal is to "get laid" or "want something long term" the fact remains that there is a goal. "Getting laid" is no less honorable a pursuit than "looking for something long term." The dishonor is not in the end goal, it is the tactics used to get there. Either way, if the reason you are being nice is because you want something (anything, regardless of what it is,) you are being manipulative. Even if you want what's best for someone. It may be that you believe that what you want will be mutually beneficial to her. It may even be objectively true that a long term relationship with you would be good for her. But the mere fact that this is the motive behind your behavior makes your behavior manipulative and a turn off. In my experience, most women want to date a nice guy, but they are at best suspicious of the stereotypical "nice guy" who is looking to earn her affections.
I would argue that "legitimately like" and "want something" are difficult to reconcile. The more you can divorce yourself of an end goal and learn to accept and even enjoy things as they are, the less you will be perceived as "the nice guy" or "white knight" and the more you will be perceived simply as a nice guy.
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