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Question for the guys

W

Wan

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Let's imagine that you had sex with a "woman", and "she" only told you about her trans-ness after you had slept with her. What would your reaction be?

Let's be honest.
 
Wan said:
Let's imagine that you had sex with a "woman", and "she" only told you about her trans-ness after you had slept with her. What would your reaction be?

Let's be honest.
Click to expand...

Is this coming from personal experience?
 
Wan said:
Let's imagine that you had sex with a "woman", and "she" only told you about her trans-ness after you had slept with her. What would your reaction be?

Let's be honest.
Click to expand...
I am assuming that she is post op, otherwise I would have found out earlier.

Personally, I would be more upset over finding it out after than before. Being MtF isn't a deal breaker. I've known a couple whom I never would have guessed if they hadn't told me. I even dated one once briefly before she had to move away.

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Wan said:
Let's imagine that you had sex with a "woman", and "she" only told you about her trans-ness after you had slept with her. What would your reaction be?

Let's be honest.
Click to expand...

My wife was sexually abused as a kid for years, her primary abuser brother killed himself a few years after he was done....

She told me everything before we decided to get married, which was 6 months after we met, which felt like the right time.

I spect that would hold here as well, dont string people along for years without coming clean, and dont agree to get married without coming clean.
 
Upset I was deceived. Grossed out. And a bit impressed that the procedure is so good that was fooled.
 
Wan said:
Let's imagine that you had sex with a "woman", and "she" only told you about her trans-ness after you had slept with her. What would your reaction be?

Let's be honest.
Click to expand...

Intrigued, especially if I didn't recognize it during the act. Also mildly irked that I wasn't informed prior, because with a new partner, you should always openly communicate before getting it on.
 
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Wan said:
Let's imagine that you had sex with a "woman", and "she" only told you about her trans-ness after you had slept with her. What would your reaction be?
Click to expand...
Massive respect for the skills of her surgeon! If you can get to that point without noticing, I don’t see why it should be an issue in itself.

Of course, I wouldn’t be having a sexual relationship with someone I wasn’t intimate enough with to know that kind of thing already so would be disappointed they kept the secret for so long but not specifically because of the nature of that secret in this example.
 
Nearly happened to me when I was in Thailand. They have many kotoeys there and they look so close to actual women its hard to tell sometimes. I got into a taxi with one until I realized she wasnt a she so I got back out.
 
Wan said:
Let's imagine that you had sex with a "woman", and "she" only told you about her trans-ness after you had slept with her. What would your reaction be?

Let's be honest.
Click to expand...
I don't know what would be my reaction.

It's very hard for me to imagine myself having sex with folks whom I don't know well enough to know "what's what" or to have not noticed that "something's up."

There's a lot to think about as goes transsexuals -- medical issues, psychological issues, and physiological issues, not the least of which is whether one wants to sire/have sired kids. Having raised four kids and desiring no more, the "kid" issue would be a non-issue for me, but at the early stages of a relationship, it's really hard to say whether one ardor for someone is enough to move one to overlook a host of practical issues that may arise.

I'm almost 60, and, right now, the last thing I want is to introduce complexity, risk/uncertainty, and health-related challenges (beyond what's "inevitable") into my life. Accordingly, if such an encounter as you describe were even to happen, I suspect it wouldn't and couldn't go any further than a "friends with benefits" situation. Would it even get that far? I don't know.

Have you considered that maybe you're worrying about something that at this point in your relationship isn't worth fretting over? I have to ask because, well, how advanced can this relationship be if you have only just learned that the woman was born a man?
 
Wan said:
Let's imagine that you had sex with a "woman", and "she" only told you about her trans-ness after you had slept with her. What would your reaction be?

Let's be honest.
Click to expand...

Knowing how things work, it would be pretty obvious if someone had the work done and if this didn't come up before this point. Then its going to lead to some unfortunate social situations.

I have been in such a relationship. Though that information was already known to me before even the first date.

Some people are just embarrassed or too ashamed after their transition. Never really speaking about it with those that didn't even know them before about that topic. It sucks, but it happens.
 
That depends. How awesome was the sex?
 
Wan said:
Let's imagine that you had sex with a "woman", and "she" only told you about her trans-ness after you had slept with her. What would your reaction be?

Let's be honest.
Click to expand...


You can't perfectly replicate female genitalia, and intercourse would reveal it, if she's post op.


I've never met a trans I didn't know it about her very quickly. It's something you can sense, even if they are "passable" to many people.

There are a lot of transexuals in Hollywood, and I worked there for years in the 70s. I dont' think I can be fooled, so for me, the point is moot.


I remember the flick, the crying game. I was fooled, but on film, and up close, are two different things.
 
OscarLevant said:
You can't perfectly replicate female genitalia, and intercourse would reveal it, if she's post op.


I've never met a trans I didn't know it about her very quickly. It's something you can sense, even if they are "passable" to many people.

There are a lot of transexuals in Hollywood, and I worked there for years in the 70s. I dont' think I can be fooled, so for me, the point is moot.


I remember the flick, the crying game. I was fooled, but on film, and up close, are two different things.
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Well, drag queens probably don't or won't often fool me, but a transsexual just going about the business of living and dressing "normally" almost certainly will appear to me convincingly as whatever sex they appear to be, especially if we merely encounter each other on the sidewalk, on an elevator, in a hallway or some other casual manner.

To wit, the woman below doesn't look like a dude or former dude to me.

​
 
Wan said:
Let's imagine that you had sex with a "woman", and "she" only told you about her trans-ness after you had slept with her. What would your reaction be?

Let's be honest.
Click to expand...

Truth be told although I have known since I was 6 that I was trans even though I didn’t know the word for it. I didn’t tell my wife until we had been married 6 years. Now I’m considering going through transition. But I know I would loss my wife if I did. Keep in mind my wife was the first person I ever told.


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Wan said:
Let's imagine that you had sex with a "woman", and "she" only told you about her trans-ness after you had slept with her. What would your reaction be?

Let's be honest.
Click to expand...

I would sue the crap out of it.
 
Wan said:
Let's imagine that you had sex with a "woman", and "she" only told you about her trans-ness after you had slept with her. What would your reaction be?

Let's be honest.
Click to expand...
Given that I take relationships slow and sex would come after months of knowing each other when presumably a number of intimate talks would have occurred...and this wasn't mentioned...my trust in that person would be gone and I'd probably be overly cautious in the next relationship to the point of it failing.
 
As others have stated, sex simply wouldn't occur without knowing such things. To answer the question, though--yes, I would have a problem with it. I don't know why I would, or what logic is to be found in being uncomfortable with being intimate with a woman that you have to told once had a male body, but it is what it is. Perhaps if brought up in a society that isn't concerned with such things, that repulsion simply wouldn't exist.

Being honest ensures that guys like me will pass, unfortunately, but I would appreciate that honesty.
 
DH Kirkwood said:
As others have stated, sex simply wouldn't occur without knowing such things. To answer the question, though--yes, I would have a problem with it. I don't know why I would, or what logic is to be found in being uncomfortable with being intimate with a woman that you have to told once had a male body, but it is what it is. Perhaps if brought up in a society that isn't concerned with such things, that repulsion simply wouldn't exist.

Being honest ensures that guys like me will pass, unfortunately, but I would appreciate that honesty.
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Heterosexuals exist. The repulsion is actually natural for heterosexuals.
 
FreedomFromAll said:
Sexual assault.
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Good luck. Since you went into it willingly and did not find out until after the act was done, AND since it would not have a detrimental affect upon your life and health, it would be no more sexual assualt than if you found out that the woman you banged was married when she said she was single.

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What if it wasn’t sex and just a blow job. Would you be as upset then.


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FreedomFromAll said:
Heterosexuals exist. The repulsion is actually natural for heterosexuals.
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Of course heterosexuals exist. Cite where anyone has said differently. As to repulsion, while it is natural in some heterosexuals, it is not universally so. Likewise, heterosexual sex is repulsive to some homosexuals, although, also, not universally so.

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