• This is a political forum that is non-biased/non-partisan and treats every person's position on topics equally. This debate forum is not aligned to any political party. In today's politics, many ideas are split between and even within all the political parties. Often we find ourselves agreeing on one platform but some topics break our mold. We are here to discuss them in a civil political debate. If this is your first visit to our political forums, be sure to check out the RULES. Registering for debate politics is necessary before posting. Register today to participate - it's free!

Question for the guys

Let me present a different situation. Although it’s very similar in some ways. This is actually the situation I’m in currently. I have been married to my wife for 12 years now. I knew at age 6 that I wasn’t male. Although I was born male. Out of fear I hide this about myself for 36 years. I never intended on telling anyone. But after 36 years I couldn’t handle it anymore and I told my wife. It’s been 2 since I told her. I have just now started hormones. How would you feel in this situation.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

A completely different situation. What I think, which is just "It's between you two. Best of luck", doesn't matter. It's what you and your wife work out. What anyone else thinks is irrelevant IMO.
 
A completely different situation. What I think, which is just "It's between you two. Best of luck", doesn't matter. It's what you and your wife work out. What anyone else thinks is irrelevant IMO.

My purpose in presenting this situation is to maybe understand how my wife is feeling. She is a loving woman and supports me through everything. But I don’t want her to resent me.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
My purpose in presenting this situation is to maybe understand how my wife is feeling. She is a loving woman and supports me through everything. But I don’t want her to resent me.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Asking women would yield better information than asking men in this situation.
 
Let me present a different situation. Although it’s very similar in some ways. This is actually the situation I’m in currently. I have been married to my wife for 12 years now. I knew at age 6 that I wasn’t male. Although I was born male. Out of fear I hide this about myself for 36 years. I never intended on telling anyone. But after 36 years I couldn’t handle it anymore and I told my wife. It’s been 2 since I told her. I have just now started hormones. How would you feel in this situation.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I wouldn't be in that situation. lol JK

It would depend on the situation, the relationship and so on. If for example my wife (of 22 years) came to me with a similar scenario, for one I would be hurt given that in all those years she did not love or trust me enough to talk to me on that level. Of course you cannot blame her (or me) if one of us cannot accept the new you as a partner. Some partners may be willing (I have seen some) but (unless their assholes) you cannot hold anything against them if they do not want to continue a relationship. It is after all their choice.

But I assume that you two stayed together? If so thats great I hope you have many more years together.
 
I wouldn't be in that situation. lol JK

It would depend on the situation, the relationship and so on. If for example my wife (of 22 years) came to me with a similar scenario, for one I would be hurt given that in all those years she did not love or trust me enough to talk to me on that level. Of course you cannot blame her (or me) if one of us cannot accept the new you as a partner. Some partners may be willing (I have seen some) but (unless their assholes) you cannot hold anything against them if they do not want to continue a relationship. It is after all their choice.

But I assume that you two stayed together? If so thats great I hope you have many more years together.

I don’t blame her for anything. I do feel a little guilty myself. I know it’s not fair to her. Any but I would put after those statements just feels wrong.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
I'm not transphobic, but I can be pretty phallophobic if it catches me off-guard.

Out of sight, out of mind.
 
Let's imagine that you had sex with a "woman", and "she" only told you about her trans-ness after you had slept with her. What would your reaction be?

Let's be honest.

'Fool me once, shame on you...Fool me twice, shame on me.'
 
Let's imagine that you had sex with a "woman", and "she" only told you about her trans-ness after you had slept with her. What would your reaction be?

Let's be honest.

"Do you have a sister?"
 
Let's imagine that you had sex with a "woman", and "she" only told you about her trans-ness after you had slept with her. What would your reaction be?

Let's be honest.
In other words, your only sister had a brother, but now she has a sister instead.
And you want to start dating.
Yikes. No touchy.
 
I'm not transphobic, but I can be pretty phallophobic if it catches me off-guard.

Out of sight, out of mind.
So since there was no phallus like organ when you slept with the hypothetical in question, how does the phallophobia come into play?

Sent from my Z982 using Tapatalk
 
Let's imagine that you had sex with a "woman", and "she" only told you about her trans-ness after you had slept with her. What would your reaction be?

Let's be honest.
Surprise.

Another thought-provoking thread, Wan. You're the devil's sweetest advocate. A DP treasure.
Keep on keeping on, girl!
 
So since there was no phallus like organ when you slept with the hypothetical in question, how does the phallophobia come into play?

It wouldn't come into play, at all. If she gets around to telling me, it'll be good to know.
 
It wouldn't come into play, at all. If she gets around to telling me, it'll be good to know.
So basically pre op could be a problem but post op is fine?

Sent from my Z982 using Tapatalk
 
So basically pre op could be a problem but post op is fine?

Yeah. This isn't a matter of gender or orientation, it's a matter of trauma.

I mean... as long as we both understand that her skirt stays on, pre-op isn't really a problem either. In the short term, at least.
 
Let's imagine that you had sex with a "woman", and "she" only told you about her trans-ness after you had slept with her. What would your reaction be?

Let's be honest.

Way back when I picked up women it would have been exactly the same: "No, you can't move in with me. Thanks, but it's time for you to go now."
 
What would upset me is if she told me she's married after-the-fact. That kind of trouble no man needs.
 
Let's imagine that you had sex with a "woman", and "she" only told you about her trans-ness after you had slept with her. What would your reaction be?

Let's be honest.

I would be infuriated. I would feel intensely personally violated - date-raped, almost. It would not only immediately end that relationship, it would likely end the relationship with any mutual acquaintances who had known but not told me.
 
Back
Top Bottom