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Should you expose the lies you ex is telling people to turn against you?

MaggieD said:
Well, I sort of just went through this with Tom. We had been together for 17 years and he cheated and lied his pants off. I told my story as objectively as humanly possibly to his sister, brother and his girlfriend of many years. Talked to his daughter and his son and his best friend and wife. I left out many of the gory details.

Big difference is that he said nothing bad about me except two ultimate lies: I threw him out and he was heartbroken.

My friends knew and lived through every detail because they were at my home when it all blew up. My posse they call themselves.

Whenever we try to make another person look bad, we look bad ourselves. My suggestion to you is to tell the people who matter most to you the varnished truth and leave the rest to their good judgment.

Maybe something like, “Look, I’ve discovered Long Tall Sally has been saying a lot of things that aren’t true about our relationship and the reason for our breakup, it matters to me what you think, and I hope you know me well enough to sort the truth from lies. We were very much in love for a long time, and then she strayed. I did not. We’re better apart. And I hope we, younand I, can keep our friendship. It means a great deal to me.”

Just an idea. But believe me, you will be doing yourself no favor by sharing gory details with casual friends...

I’m sorry. I know it’s painful. And I know you are very angry.
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Mags you are the best. Sorry you had to deal with that crap. Argh.
 
allalone said:
So here is my question...I was married for 7 years was together for 2 years before. My soon to be ex has been sleeping with multiple different men behind my back for months and I accidentally found out about it through text messages on her phone when I was just trying to text message an old friend that she had a number 2? so then I continue to look through her phone and find all kinds of things she's been verbally bashing me to friends family and Associates causing most of them to turn against me for no reason other than listening to what she's telling them and not asking my side.can I show people all the text messages and devious thing she's been doing or should I just let the truth catch up to her?either way I think it would be best just to drop every person out of my life completely friend or family that took her side and didn't even ask what happened or my side of the story can I have your thoughts and opinions please?
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If your friends believe her without even coming to you questioning you, then you are better off without them. ALL of them. What kind of true friend would automatically believe her, without even giving you the benefit of the doubt?

Cut the cord and move on. As someone else has already said, the best revenge is living well.

Best of luck to you.
 
allalone said:
So here is my question...I was married for 7 years was together for 2 years before. My soon to be ex has been sleeping with multiple different men behind my back for months and I accidentally found out about it through text messages on her phone when I was just trying to text message an old friend that she had a number 2? so then I continue to look through her phone and find all kinds of things she's been verbally bashing me to friends family and Associates causing most of them to turn against me for no reason other than listening to what she's telling them and not asking my side.can I show people all the text messages and devious thing she's been doing or should I just let the truth catch up to her?either way I think it would be best just to drop every person out of my life completely friend or family that took her side and didn't even ask what happened or my side of the story can I have your thoughts and opinions please?
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I have listened to people who are upset talking about an ex. I put into context and rarely would I "turn against" a person solely on what an ex said.

Most people listen to this to get gossip or drama.

I would just take the high road.
 
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