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Well, I sort of just went through this with Tom. We had been together for 17 years and he cheated and lied his pants off. I told my story as objectively as humanly possibly to his sister, brother and his girlfriend of many years. Talked to his daughter and his son and his best friend and wife. I left out many of the gory details.
Big difference is that he said nothing bad about me except two ultimate lies: I threw him out and he was heartbroken.
My friends knew and lived through every detail because they were at my home when it all blew up. My posse they call themselves.
Whenever we try to make another person look bad, we look bad ourselves. My suggestion to you is to tell the people who matter most to you the varnished truth and leave the rest to their good judgment.
Maybe something like, “Look, I’ve discovered Long Tall Sally has been saying a lot of things that aren’t true about our relationship and the reason for our breakup, it matters to me what you think, and I hope you know me well enough to sort the truth from lies. We were very much in love for a long time, and then she strayed. I did not. We’re better apart. And I hope we, younand I, can keep our friendship. It means a great deal to me.”
Just an idea. But believe me, you will be doing yourself no favor by sharing gory details with casual friends...
I’m sorry. I know it’s painful. And I know you are very angry.
Mags you are the best. Sorry you had to deal with that crap. Argh.