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Why get married?

:D a good one

Thanks.

But to be honest, my wife is about the only person on the planet to that kept me on the straight and narrow. I would have been some "back street tuff" without her wisdom over the years.

40 years this Oct.15
 
You have to see someone at their worst and at their most vulnerable before you can really know their character.
Best take her or him on a week's sailing trip (and I mean a real sailing boat, not some floating palace). Especially in bad weather that brings out the best as well as the worst in anybody.:mrgreen:
 
Why do people still get married?

Over 50% end in divorce. Complications seeing your children. Ex-spouses often angry with each other. money spent on divorce.

If somebody told you that over 50% of the time your parachute would not open would you actually go skydiving? Obviously not...

Are you only asking about why people get the legal paperwork done, or are you seeking a broader answer?
 
Your chances are actually much better on your first marriage, the 50% statistic includes people who've divorced their second and third marriages

How do you mean that? Are you only saying that a first marriage has a less than 50% chance of divorce? Or are you saying that those with second and beyond marriages have a higher chance of divorce than first marriages. I do get the part that the 50% statistic is all inclusive and effectively counts a single person's multiple divorces.
 
How do you mean that? Are you only saying that a first marriage has a less than 50% chance of divorce? Or are you saying that those with second and beyond marriages have a higher chance of divorce than first marriages. I do get the part that the 50% statistic is all inclusive and effectively counts a single person's multiple divorces.

With each subsequent marriage, you chances of divorce increase.
 
With each subsequent marriage, you chances of divorce increase.

I'd like to see the numbers. While admittedly anecdotal, my experience is that second are more successful then first these days, although those who get a divorce in the second marriage are highly likely to have divorce and remarriage as a trend.
 
I'd like to see the numbers. While admittedly anecdotal, my experience is that second are more successful then first these days, although those who get a divorce in the second marriage are highly likely to have divorce and remarriage as a trend.

Anecdotally, I am finding third time to be the charm. :)
 
Anecdotally, I am finding third time to be the charm. :)

I think there is a point that there is a turn around, but I would be interested in knowing if there is a "learning curve" factor, which would make a subsequent married have a higher chance of success, and where is the average of that?
 
I think there is a point that there is a turn around, but I would be interested in knowing if there is a "learning curve" factor, which would make a subsequent married have a higher chance of success, and where is the average of that?

I agree that there has to be a turn-around, a certain maturity perhaps, maybe even taking a giant step away from past behaviors. Not many people can do that though, so they repeat cycles.
 
I agree that there has to be a turn-around, a certain maturity perhaps, maybe even taking a giant step away from past behaviors. Not many people can do that though, so they repeat cycles.

That they do. My youngest sis is on #3, she professes happiness but really I don't see a lot of difference in my current BIL from the previous 2. My other sister is on number 2, first guy was nice but had serious drinking problems which is what ended the marriage, her current husband is great and they've been married for 20 years.
 
That they do. My youngest sis is on #3, she professes happiness but really I don't see a lot of difference in my current BIL from the previous 2. My other sister is on number 2, first guy was nice but had serious drinking problems which is what ended the marriage, her current husband is great and they've been married for 20 years.

Yep. Kudos to your sister for breaking away from a bad marriage choice and finding a nice, responsible guy.

The biggest cycle to break is the addiction cycle. Repeatedly marrying addicts thinking you will change them; being an addict who married someone hoping they will change you; two addicts marrying each other...all are recipes for disaster. Same applies to the person marrying abusers, shop-aholics, cheaters, liars, etc. And, that they do this repeatedly seems to be more common than those who break the cycle. Not sure why. But, CC probably has an idea.
 
With each subsequent marriage, you chances of divorce increase.

That's generally, but not always, true. The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior, and that past behavior is generally what destroyed the past marriages. Sometimes, though, the newlywed has figured out what went wrong and knows how to fix it.

But generally not. Most of the time the person blames the spouse and thinks the new one will be different.

When things are going badly with a relationship, look within.
 
Legally...

Well in the case of my legal wife and I, it was purely for the legal benefits. We were claiming married as a social status for years, before we bothered with the legal paperwork. Before, it wasn't anything that was advantageous to us to have. Once we decided to start looking for a house did the advantage of getting the legal paperwork manifest.
 
I'll be 70 in a few months. Never engaged, married and the longest relationship I had was high school 3.5 years Dated many, many ,many women never felt the urge to have a long term relationship on casual and sexual. Freedom is something that can never be negotiated or compromised.
 
Why do people still get married?

Over 50% end in divorce. Complications seeing your children. Ex-spouses often angry with each other. money spent on divorce.

If somebody told you that over 50% of the time your parachute would not open would you actually go skydiving? Obviously not...

People need to try it.
 
Okay, I know I'm late as hell to this thread, but DIVORCE RATES AREN'T AS BAD AS THEY SEEM. There are two main factors that make divorce rates look so high on the surface (in America, I have no idea how things are in New Zealand): serial divorcers, and young/pregnant couples. A first time marriage in America these days has about a 25% chance of ending in dovorce, and that's including a TON of marriages where the couple was very young, or the woman was pregnant. If you can't automatically understand why a high school couple marrying as soon as they graduate or after one of them gets knocked up is a recipe for disaster, I'm not sure I can explain it to you.

As for the serial divorcers, every marriage after your first one is statistically more likely to lead to a divorce - the second marriage has a decent chance of working out fine, the third one's hifhly questionable, and anyone that's been married three times is most likely ****ed in the head & incapable of maintaining a healthy relationship - hence, all the divorces.

To put it simply, if you want your marriage to work out, date your prospective spouse for a few years, at least three or four so you know them fairly well. Make sure you understand them well enough to communicate effectively; if you ask your girlfriend what's wrong when she looks agitated, and she responds with "you wouldn't understand," one or both of you are ****ing up BAD. I don't have a good conclusion sentence, ****ing sue me.
 
There is no reason to get married.

How do I benefit from being married? What can I do as a married man that I can't do with a live-in girlfriend?
 
There is no reason to get married.

How do I benefit from being married? What can I do as a married man that I can't do with a live-in girlfriend?

Inherit her estate of have her inherit yours when one of you unexpectedly dies.

If you're immortal, then you don't have to worry about that.
 
Inherit her estate of have her inherit yours when one of you unexpectedly dies.

If you're immortal, then you don't have to worry about that.

I like the immediate divorce conversation. It's weird how marriage is supposed to be permanent and with someone you want to stay with.

live in gf is fine but be aware some states have a time limit to where you've actually become common law married.
Dual parenting is proven to be better for kids than single parenting or the typical every other weekend/1 day a week visitation with the other.
 
I like the immediate divorce conversation. It's weird how marriage is supposed to be permanent and with someone you want to stay with.

live in gf is fine but be aware some states have a time limit to where you've actually become common law married.
Dual parenting is proven to be better for kids than single parenting or the typical every other weekend/1 day a week visitation with the other.

Yes, marriage is supposed to be permanent and with someone you want to stay with. Nothing weird about that. A marriage is a commitment and a promise to be faithful. Not everyone keeps that promise, of course, which is unfortunate because this is also correct:

Dual parenting is proven to be better for kids than single parenting or the typical every other weekend/1 day a week visitation with the other.
 
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