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A guy kissed me.

Jeezus. Awkward situations always seem to creep up on me at the worst times.

So there's this guy that lives in my dorm (It's co-ed FYI). And we just so happen to have a Psychology class together on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, so we sit together in that class, as he's the only one that I know in the giant lecture room. He's a pretty okay dude to have a conversation with. And last week he brought me along to hang out with his friends a few times when I was bored and had nothing to do. I thought we could be like good friends and study partners. But I must have been giving out the wrong signals, because today, out of ****ing nowhere, he kisses me. I've only known this guy for a little over a week, and he kisses me. I was caught completely off-guard. Did not expect him to do that to me at all. Of course, I shoved him away. I felt more surprised in that moment than angry, at least initially. But I was just like WTF are you doing, and I told him that I didn't like him that way, and that I already had a girlfriend. And he quickly tried to apologize, but I told him to **** off and stormed off. Anger probably wasn't the best tool to handle that situation, but I kinda lost it.

Now he's been texting me all afternoon still trying to apologize for what he did, but I've been avoiding talking to him. I'm not ready to forgive him; I'm still angry about it. This has pretty much ****ed up my whole day; I can't get it out of my head. I've been in situations before where guys have tried to ask me out, and I politely rejected them (although it still hurt me inside to do so). And I had one guy try to kiss me before in high school, but at least I had known the guy for a good while beforehand, and I saw it coming.


Has anyone else been in this kind of awkward situation? Where someone has tried to kiss them out-of-the-blue?

And you were worried about making friends when you were away at college! :shock:

I would recommend that you reach out to Luther or Bucky: dudes trying to kiss them all the time and ****.

Rock on, Governess. You are obviously a cross-gender sex goddess. Life could be worse.

Good on you.
 
Meant as a joke

If I was going to do it I would tell the person shortly after it was a joke

Alright, then. I've actually known several people that play mind games like that without any concern for ****ing with people's heads, so I couldn't quite tell if you were kidding about that.
 
What's awkward is NOT being turned down by a lesbian. Many years ago (I was in my 20's) I met a nice young lady and we went out a few times. Her parents were REALLY glad to meet me so I knew something was up and all her friends were lesbians so it wasn't a surprise. I got the conformation when we started making out and she slipped me more tongue than I'd ever experienced. I commented on it and that's when she said she had something to tell me. I guessed before she got it out of her mouth.

We actually dated for about another month and probably would have remained friends but some of her friends held more away than I did.

That sounds like a literal cult.
 
This wasn't a guy behaving badly. This was a young kid who was hanging out with a girl who seemed to like him and he had no clue that she was a lesbian. He's not a bad guy at all - just a guy who thought there was a spark when there wasn't at all.

Behaving badly and just being a flat-out bad person are two very different things. As I said, I am sure he will learn from this experience, given what Governess has said about his reaction.

But yes, making an unwanted sexual advance on someone is definitely bad behavior, and he very much earned the reaction he got. Hopefully what he will learn is to actually communicate rather than just assume any girl who's spending time with him is open to getting physical.
 
Behaving badly and just being a flat-out bad person are two very different things. As I said, I am sure he will learn from this experience, given what Governess has said about his reaction.

But yes, making an unwanted sexual advance on someone is definitely bad behavior, and he very much earned the reaction he got. Hopefully what he will learn is to actually communicate rather than just assume any girl who's spending time with him is open to getting physical.

Whoooa, did i miss something in this story? I gotta go back and read now. What was the unwanted sexual advance that was bad behavior?
 
Have a heart. Ever seen any romantic comedies? What's the one thing the woman wants from their befuddled love interest?


Guys get told a LOT of different things, for what women want from them. It's insane. So a dude made a mistake with you. Is he fun to chill with? Is his friendship worth more, or less, than his mistake?

Are you perfect?
 
A guy kissed me


Yeah, they'll do that. Especially college-age guys who get it in their heads that you might be ok with it, which at that age typically doesn't take much.


Sounds like you handled it. Don't see any real need for further action; he got the message. He's probably terrified you'll report it as harassment.


Just bear in mind in future, guys that age are a walking hormone factory with only a marginally functional brain, and a tendency to think "she doesn't act like she hates me so she must want me!" Takes until about age 38 to get over that in many cases.


BTDT. When I was a young studmuffin quite a few gals I wasn't interested in got kinda handsy and pushy and WAY too deep into my personal space... it was annoying but you just have to be firm with the "no".
 
Behaving badly and just being a flat-out bad person are two very different things. As I said, I am sure he will learn from this experience, given what Governess has said about his reaction.

But yes, making an unwanted sexual advance on someone is definitely bad behavior, and he very much earned the reaction he got. Hopefully what he will learn is to actually communicate rather than just assume any girl who's spending time with him is open to getting physical.

How is the guy supposed to know it's unwanted until she tells him? It's not like people say "Okay now I'm gonna kiss you if that's okay with you." Not the way it works in the real world.

And it's a kiss for Christ's sake.
 
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From the OP the guy did not behave badly. He went for a kiss with a female he was attracted to. Nothing wrong with that. He wasn't trying to cop a feel. It was a damn kiss!
And even after the incident and learning the Governess was a lesbian, made a major effort to apologize. Sounds like a good kid to me.
He did not know! Why should he? The Governess was not wearing a tee shirt that said "Hello I am a Lesbian".
 
a few lesbians attempted to stalk me in the past ,I felt shocked :mrgreen:
 
From the OP the guy did not behave badly. He went for a kiss with a female he was attracted to. Nothing wrong with that. He wasn't trying to cop a feel. It was a damn kiss!
And even after the incident and learning the Governess was a lesbian, made a major effort to apologize. Sounds like a good kid to me.
He did not know! Why should he? The Governess was not wearing a tee shirt that said "Hello I am a Lesbian".

Who knows, she might have been. It would explain why she's pissed!
 
From the OP the guy did not behave badly. He went for a kiss with a female he was attracted to. Nothing wrong with that. He wasn't trying to cop a feel. It was a damn kiss!
And even after the incident and learning the Governess was a lesbian, made a major effort to apologize. Sounds like a good kid to me.
He did not know! Why should he? The Governess was not wearing a tee shirt that said "Hello I am a Lesbian".
:lol:
Neither did I but lesbians attempted to kiss me :shock:
 
Behaving badly and just being a flat-out bad person are two very different things. As I said, I am sure he will learn from this experience, given what Governess has said about his reaction.

But yes, making an unwanted sexual advance on someone is definitely bad behavior, and he very much earned the reaction he got. Hopefully what he will learn is to actually communicate rather than just assume any girl who's spending time with him is open to getting physical.

He wasn't "behaving badly". From what I can tell from her story, he had nothing but sweet intentions thinking that she was into him. He was simply mistaken.
 
Jeezus. Awkward situations always seem to creep up on me at the worst times. Has anyone else been in this kind of awkward situation? Where someone has tried to kiss them out-of-the-blue?

Soooooo I'm REAL old but do have some young gay friends and was quite the horn dawg back in the day (pre-cell phone)

RARELY does a guy, who is attracted to a hot chick think- 'gee I wonder if that hottie is gay' naaahhh a hundred other thoughts run through the guy's mind ;)

Now my younger gay friends do send 'gay' signals- like wearing a rainbow T-shirt at least once a week, or more subtle ones like- a rainbow necklace, wristband, same sex symbol necklace...

A married co-worker rather early in a conversation lets people know about her martial status by mentioning 'him'. You could mention your last girlfriend or some such to put out there you don't play for the hetro team.

Just saying if a kiss sends you off like a scalded cat perhaps a 'gay charm' to ward off the E-Vile hetro boys would be in order... :)

Or cut your hair and dress like a dude... :mrgreen:
 
Jeezus. Awkward situations always seem to creep up on me at the worst times.

So there's this guy that lives in my dorm (It's co-ed FYI). And we just so happen to have a Psychology class together on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, so we sit together in that class, as he's the only one that I know in the giant lecture room. He's a pretty okay dude to have a conversation with. And last week he brought me along to hang out with his friends a few times when I was bored and had nothing to do. I thought we could be like good friends and study partners. But I must have been giving out the wrong signals, because today, out of ****ing nowhere, he kisses me. I've only known this guy for a little over a week, and he kisses me. I was caught completely off-guard. Did not expect him to do that to me at all. Of course, I shoved him away. I felt more surprised in that moment than angry, at least initially. But I was just like WTF are you doing, and I told him that I didn't like him that way, and that I already had a girlfriend. And he quickly tried to apologize, but I told him to **** off and stormed off. Anger probably wasn't the best tool to handle that situation, but I kinda lost it.

Now he's been texting me all afternoon still trying to apologize for what he did, but I've been avoiding talking to him. I'm not ready to forgive him; I'm still angry about it. This has pretty much ****ed up my whole day; I can't get it out of my head. I've been in situations before where guys have tried to ask me out, and I politely rejected them (although it still hurt me inside to do so). And I had one guy try to kiss me before in high school, but at least I had known the guy for a good while beforehand, and I saw it coming.


Has anyone else been in this kind of awkward situation? Where someone has tried to kiss them out-of-the-blue?

You should not have let it ruin your day. They guy was a clueless knucklehead to try and kiss you when you were not even dating etc. Just let it go, don't let it take up space in your head. I know it's easier said than done, but go for it.

I hope you enjoy the rest of your evening.
 
It is not that simple if it happens to a gay and a hetero.

That makes no difference. If a gay man tried to kiss me I just push him away and say no thanks. It's not like the world is ending or anything. People get upset over the littlest meaningless things.
 
:lol:
Neither did I but lesbians attempted to kiss me :shock:

Now how did I miss that? No I am kidding. A group is a whole different ball game. If a group of gay men were trying to get me? Yea we would have a serious problem as that is just a different situation altogether.
 
Governess, he found you attractive. Get over it. And be nice to him.

This boy should not be deprived of his learning opportunity, which must be honest we dont even know that he needs/wants, could be he trespasses on women regularly.

Young women have always trained young men up, we should not lose that.

Doing it wrong must be charged.

IT'S A PUBLIC SERVICE
 
Sweetie Pie, I've been kissed by guys when I didn't even know their first names.

Big girl panties thingie. Birds and bees thingie. Don't make an enemy out of the guy just because he found you attractive. Don't be surprised that your orientation will be questioned again and again. And be happy someone found you attractive and interesting enough to want to have more than a friendship.

Graciously accept his apology. Remain friends if it's feasible. It never hurts to have a big brother watch your back.

Your reaction shows you have some growing to do. And what fun you'll have!

Great advice, Maggie.
 
From the OP the guy did not behave badly. He went for a kiss with a female he was attracted to. Nothing wrong with that. He wasn't trying to cop a feel. It was a damn kiss!
And even after the incident and learning the Governess was a lesbian, made a major effort to apologize. Sounds like a good kid to me.
He did not know! Why should he? The Governess was not wearing a tee shirt that said "Hello I am a Lesbian".

I have this shirt. :lol:
 
Jeezus. Awkward situations always seem to creep up on me at the worst times.

So there's this guy that lives in my dorm (It's co-ed FYI). And we just so happen to have a Psychology class together on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, so we sit together in that class, as he's the only one that I know in the giant lecture room. He's a pretty okay dude to have a conversation with. And last week he brought me along to hang out with his friends a few times when I was bored and had nothing to do. I thought we could be like good friends and study partners. But I must have been giving out the wrong signals, because today, out of ****ing nowhere, he kisses me. I've only known this guy for a little over a week, and he kisses me. I was caught completely off-guard. Did not expect him to do that to me at all. Of course, I shoved him away. I felt more surprised in that moment than angry, at least initially. But I was just like WTF are you doing, and I told him that I didn't like him that way, and that I already had a girlfriend. And he quickly tried to apologize, but I told him to **** off and stormed off. Anger probably wasn't the best tool to handle that situation, but I kinda lost it.

Now he's been texting me all afternoon still trying to apologize for what he did, but I've been avoiding talking to him. I'm not ready to forgive him; I'm still angry about it. This has pretty much ****ed up my whole day; I can't get it out of my head. I've been in situations before where guys have tried to ask me out, and I politely rejected them (although it still hurt me inside to do so). And I had one guy try to kiss me before in high school, but at least I had known the guy for a good while beforehand, and I saw it coming.


Has anyone else been in this kind of awkward situation? Where someone has tried to kiss them out-of-the-blue?

When I was still hitting on women, a kiss out of the blue was pretty much the standard play. Of course, the move would come in slow. So that the other person knew it was coming and had plenty of time to react, pro or con.

90% of the time it was well received. Once in a while, it was buffered by a question, "Are you about to kiss me?" And, very rarely, I'd hear a straight up "No!" My best friend ever was a "No!" No biggie. We remained friends for another 5 years, until I got married and moved away.
 
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