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Should I ask this girl out?

Winston

Winston

Advanced stage dementia patient pls support my run
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Little back story, I started a new job, I've been there about 2 months. Right away, I noticed this stunning girl who works there. My first few weeks there, she would always stick around afterwards and drink beer with another coworker, while I was finishing up for the night. So, we would naturally end up talking and getting to know each other. All just light casual stuff. What do you like to do for fun? Where are you from? How old are you? Stuff like that. I thought at first, that she was dating the guy, she hung around with. Or, at least that they had a physical relationship, a couple times a week. Well, turns out that's not the case. Even though, I'm not totally convinced there isn't mutual attraction between them.

Anyway, eventually we added each other on facebook, and have talked on there a little bit. She's really responsive to my messages, and has shown equal interest in me, as I have in her. But, I've just been a friend to her. I can't recall ever hitting on her, at all. One night we were just talking about what kind of cookies we like, and she said her favorite was choc. chip. And I said, "I make the best choc. chip." Well, she disputed that, and said she could make better. So, I challenged her to a bake-off. I was trained by a pastry chef, so, I knew I could make some pretty damn good cookies, but, she was pretty confident hers were better. Maybe she was just in it for the sport of it. But, we brought the cookies in, and most everyone said mine were better. I sensed that her feelings were kind of hurt, so, instead of acting like an ass, I told her that her cookies were great and to not listen to the haters. And I told her, I really appreciated her baking them for everyone, and that we should have another challenge sometime with another item.

That was last week, and since then, I've kind of laid off talking to her as much as I had been. I did talk to her today for a little while, and I told her she was fun to work with. She told me I was "the best". And I was kind of dumbfounded, so I just said, "Thank you."

She has shown interest in me, but, since we work together, I've been taking it real slow, with revealing any sort of physical attraction, or, desire for a relationship. Since we will see each other basically all summer long, there is too much to lose by giving into temptation. So, I think once school starts back up, if there is still a spark there, I will ask her out. But, what do you think? Maybe just ask her what her days off are, and if she would go to the park and have lunch together?
 
Last edited:
You haven't learned not to crap where you eat? How old are you?
 
There's an old saying:

"Don't dip your dink in company ink." I think you're doing the right thing by waiting.
 
Winston said:
29 years old.
Click to expand...

Perhaps that's not long enough to have witnessed a disaster and learned from others. You do not want to be that disaster and learn from your own mistake on this one. Dating someone at work is a terribly foolhardy thing to do. It always ends badly, probably with both people being fired (and the loss of a potential job reference).

Don't do it. If you really like her and she wants to date, quit. Otherwise, you're on a road to misery.
 
ecofarm said:
Perhaps that's not long enough to have witnessed a disaster and learned from others. You do not want to be that disaster and learn from your own mistake on this one. Dating someone at work is a terribly foolhardy thing to do. It always ends badly, probably with both people being fired (and the loss of a potential job reference).

Don't do it. If you really like her and she wants to date, quit. Otherwise, you're on a road to misery.
Click to expand...

Yeah, the job isn't the best. I'm definitely overqualified for the position. So, I haven't ruled out looking for something better. Right now, I make enough money to get by, and I don't want to leave the workplace, after they have invested enough time to get me trained right. After summer, if a job ad appears containing a position with a set 40 hour work week and a pay raise, I would take that position.

So, right now, I'll just let the friendship develop as it may.
 
Winston said:
Little back story, I started a new job, I've been there about 2 months. Right away, I noticed this stunning girl who works there. My first few weeks there, she would always stick around afterwards and drink beer with another coworker, while I was finishing up for the night. So, we would naturally end up talking and getting to know each other. All just light casual stuff. What do you like to do for fun? Where are you from? How old are you? Stuff like that. I thought at first, that she was dating the guy, she hung around with. Or, at least that they had a physical relationship, a couple times a week. Well, turns out that's not the case. Even though, I'm not totally convinced there isn't mutual attraction between them.

Anyway, eventually we added each other on facebook, and have talked on there a little bit. She's really responsive to my messages, and has shown equal interest in me, as I have in her. But, I've just been a friend to her. I can't recall ever hitting on her, at all. One night we were just talking about what kind of cookies we like, and she said her favorite was choc. chip. And I said, "I make the best choc. chip." Well, she disputed that, and said she could make better. So, I challenged her to a bake-off. I was trained by a pastry chef, so, I knew I could make some pretty damn good cookies, but, she was pretty confident hers were better. Maybe she was just in it for the sport of it. But, we brought the cookies in, and most everyone said mine were better. I sensed that her feelings were kind of hurt, so, instead of acting like an ass, I told her that her cookies were great and to not listen to the haters. And I told her, I really appreciated her baking them for everyone, and that we should have another challenge sometime with another item.

That was last week, and since then, I've kind of laid off talking to her as much as I had been. I did talk to her today for a little while, and I told her she was fun to work with. She told me I was "the best". And I was kind of dumbfounded, so I just said, "Thank you."

She has shown interest in me, but, since we work together, I've been taking it real slow, with revealing any sort of physical attraction, or, desire for a relationship. Since we will see each other basically all summer long, there is too much to lose by giving into temptation. So, I think once school starts back up, if there is still a spark there, I will ask her out. But, what do you think? Maybe just ask her what her days off are, and if she would go to the park and have lunch together?
Click to expand...

Hmm interesting story. Perhaps you have veered into the friend zone already. If you really like this girl, go ahead and ask her out however here are some problems you could expierence:

1. Things could get awkard if she rejects you since you see her all the time at work. Awkward for you and awkward for her. If it happens though things should pass eventually. My motto is if you really like a girl and you think she likes you back, go ahead and ask her out. You don't want to live in regret the rest of your life not knowing if she could have been "the one." The pain of rejection is tough, but only temporary.

2. If you do date and things get serious, seeing her all the time at work maybe a bit overwhelming. Sometimes its good to take things slow and create some space.

Overall it is not a very good idea however if you wait too long and ask her out after you quit, she might move on to someone else. I guess it is questions how much you like this girl vs how much you like your job.
 
Winston said:
So, right now, I'll just let the friendship develop as it may.
Click to expand...

Probably the best strategy Winston however the girl could move on. How would you feel if she said "Ya, I really like Winston but had no idea he liked me! If I had known, I would have went out with him but too late now; I'm with a great guy now!"
 
Winston said:
Little back story, I started a new job, I've been there about 2 months. Right away, I noticed this stunning girl who works there. My first few weeks there, she would always stick around afterwards and drink beer with another coworker, while I was finishing up for the night. So, we would naturally end up talking and getting to know each other. All just light casual stuff. What do you like to do for fun? Where are you from? How old are you? Stuff like that. I thought at first, that she was dating the guy, she hung around with. Or, at least that they had a physical relationship, a couple times a week. Well, turns out that's not the case. Even though, I'm not totally convinced there isn't mutual attraction between them.

Anyway, eventually we added each other on facebook, and have talked on there a little bit. She's really responsive to my messages, and has shown equal interest in me, as I have in her. But, I've just been a friend to her. I can't recall ever hitting on her, at all. One night we were just talking about what kind of cookies we like, and she said her favorite was choc. chip. And I said, "I make the best choc. chip." Well, she disputed that, and said she could make better. So, I challenged her to a bake-off. I was trained by a pastry chef, so, I knew I could make some pretty damn good cookies, but, she was pretty confident hers were better. Maybe she was just in it for the sport of it. But, we brought the cookies in, and most everyone said mine were better. I sensed that her feelings were kind of hurt, so, instead of acting like an ass, I told her that her cookies were great and to not listen to the haters. And I told her, I really appreciated her baking them for everyone, and that we should have another challenge sometime with another item.

That was last week, and since then, I've kind of laid off talking to her as much as I had been. I did talk to her today for a little while, and I told her she was fun to work with. She told me I was "the best". And I was kind of dumbfounded, so I just said, "Thank you."

She has shown interest in me, but, since we work together, I've been taking it real slow, with revealing any sort of physical attraction, or, desire for a relationship. Since we will see each other basically all summer long, there is too much to lose by giving into temptation. So, I think once school starts back up, if there is still a spark there, I will ask her out. But, what do you think? Maybe just ask her what her days off are, and if she would go to the park and have lunch together?
Click to expand...

simple question . . . do you like her?
if the answer is yes you ask her out . . .:shrug:

all the beware of the workplace romance stuff is crap as long as she isnt your boss or her dad isnt the boss lol

do you have normal relationships? then go for it. Ive dated girls at work and its never been an issue . . not once . . .in fact my current and longest relationship (probably my last one ever is a girl I work with) the one before that was a girl i worked with too and it was a great relationship. just wasnt met to be and we are ALL friends.

Could dating a girl at work be an issue? of course just like dating anybody could be an issue but I would NEVER let that stop me from asking out a girl i like. NEVER waste an opportunity IMO (within reason) dont live life scared or with regrets. GO FOR IT. if its a no, then at least you know . . if its a yes . . .possiblities are endless
 
AGENT J said:
simple question . . . do you like her?
if the answer is yes you ask her out . . .:shrug:

all the beware of the workplace romance stuff is crap as long as she isnt your boss or her dad isnt the boss lol

do you have normal relationships? then go for it. Ive dated girls at work and its never been an issue . . not once . . .in fact my current and longest relationship (probably my last one ever is a girl I work with) the one before that was a girl i worked with too and it was a great relationship. just wasnt met to be and we are ALL friends.

Could dating a girl at work be an issue? of course just like dating anybody could be an issue but I would NEVER let that stop me from asking out a girl i like. NEVER waste an opportunity IMO (within reason) dont live life scared or with regrets. GO FOR IT. if its a no, then at least you know . . if its a yes . . .possiblities are endless
Click to expand...

Horrible, horrible advice.
 
Winston said:
Little back story, I started a new job, I've been there about 2 months. Right away, I noticed this stunning girl who works there. My first few weeks there, she would always stick around afterwards and drink beer with another coworker, while I was finishing up for the night. So, we would naturally end up talking and getting to know each other. All just light casual stuff. What do you like to do for fun? Where are you from? How old are you? Stuff like that. I thought at first, that she was dating the guy, she hung around with. Or, at least that they had a physical relationship, a couple times a week. Well, turns out that's not the case. Even though, I'm not totally convinced there isn't mutual attraction between them.

Anyway, eventually we added each other on facebook, and have talked on there a little bit. She's really responsive to my messages, and has shown equal interest in me, as I have in her. But, I've just been a friend to her. I can't recall ever hitting on her, at all. One night we were just talking about what kind of cookies we like, and she said her favorite was choc. chip. And I said, "I make the best choc. chip." Well, she disputed that, and said she could make better. So, I challenged her to a bake-off. I was trained by a pastry chef, so, I knew I could make some pretty damn good cookies, but, she was pretty confident hers were better. Maybe she was just in it for the sport of it. But, we brought the cookies in, and most everyone said mine were better. I sensed that her feelings were kind of hurt, so, instead of acting like an ass, I told her that her cookies were great and to not listen to the haters. And I told her, I really appreciated her baking them for everyone, and that we should have another challenge sometime with another item.

That was last week, and since then, I've kind of laid off talking to her as much as I had been. I did talk to her today for a little while, and I told her she was fun to work with. She told me I was "the best". And I was kind of dumbfounded, so I just said, "Thank you."

She has shown interest in me, but, since we work together, I've been taking it real slow, with revealing any sort of physical attraction, or, desire for a relationship. Since we will see each other basically all summer long, there is too much to lose by giving into temptation. So, I think once school starts back up, if there is still a spark there, I will ask her out. But, what do you think? Maybe just ask her what her days off are, and if she would go to the park and have lunch together?
Click to expand...

I would ask her, better to try and get a no then wonder how things could've been.

and everyone telling you not to fish from the company pier can F the heck off, people meet at work all the time. don't be creepy and don't harass her, definitely do not persist if she says no.

but there is absolutely nothing wrong with asking out a woman at work, it happens all the time. and if your company would fire you for it, then F 'em you don't want to work there anyway.
 
ecofarm said:
Perhaps that's not long enough to have witnessed a disaster and learned from others. You do not want to be that disaster and learn from your own mistake on this one. Dating someone at work is a terribly foolhardy thing to do. It always ends badly, probably with both people being fired (and the loss of a potential job reference).

Don't do it. If you really like her and she wants to date, quit. Otherwise, you're on a road to misery.
Click to expand...

:lamo:lamo:lamo
Please stop that is FACTUALLY not true at all

Ive done it 4 times . .
one was short lived and simply didnt work at all but there was ZERO drama, a little weirdness at first but nothing more or less than other relationships


the other three were good relationships(rank them some of the best I have had)
2 didnt last the test of time but were multiple year relationships and one is still going and will probably be my last one

Where I work now there are multiple relationships, 2 marriages have spawn from work relationships and there was a bad one because well those two people are idiots . .had nothign to do with work.


NEVER fired, NEVER worked out badly and in fact they were some of the best picks i made in girlfriends. This last pick is probably the last one ill ever make.

So please save the "disaster, mistake, terribly foolhardy thing to do, always ends badly, probably with both people being fired nonsense cause its simply not true. . . .could it happen? of course is it as likely as you say nope not even close.
 
ecofarm said:
Horrible, horrible advice.
Click to expand...

No, it's not. The first bit of advice he gave there is right on point. Don't let a good thing slip by without even trying to reach for it.
 
AGENT J said:
:lamo:lamo:lamo
Please stop that is FACTUALLY not true at all

Ive done it 4 times . .
one was short lived and simply didnt work at all but there was ZERO drama, a little weirdness at first but nothing more or less than other relationships


the other three were good relationships(rank them some of the best I have had)
2 didnt last the test of time but were multiple year relationships and one is still going and will probably be my last one

Where I work now there are multiple relationships, 2 marriages have spawn from work relationships and there was a bad one because well those two people are idiots . .had nothign to do with work.


NEVER fired, NEVER worked out badly and in fact they were some of the best picks i made in girlfriends. This last pick is probably the last one ill ever make.

So please save the "disaster, mistake, terribly foolhardy thing to do, always ends badly, probably with both people being fired nonsense cause its simply not true. . . .could it happen? of course is it as likely as you say nope not even close.
Click to expand...

Anecdotal naivety.

"Don't crap where you eat" and "don't dip your pen in the company ink" are age-old sayings for a reason.

A couple years ago a friend did this. We all said don't do it. She got transferred to a store she didn't like (and then quit) and he was eventually fired for petty crap. No one likes personal stuff at work from couples.

It's unprofessional and it's stupid.
 
ecofarm said:
Horrible, horrible advice.
Click to expand...

only in your opinion . . for me its always worked out and i know muitiple marriages spawned from work relationships

your doom and gloom isnt reality based, could it happen? of course
is it guaranteed to happen like you paint it? nope

claims like it is are almost as retarded and dishonest and factually wrong as claims that blacks guys cant be racist in america ;)
 
ecofarm said:
Horrible, horrible advice.
Click to expand...

From who's perspective?

unless the OP is like her supervisor or does something that is considered harassment there is nothing wrong here. I've worked places where people were dating within the company. it's not at all a problem most anywhere.
 
Henrin said:
No, it's not. The first bit of advice he gave there is right on point. Don't let a good thing slip by without even trying to reach for it.
Click to expand...

You in a dating and relationship thread. Really?
 
ecofarm said:
Anecdotal naivety.

"Don't crap where you eat" and "don't dip your pen in the company ink" are age-old sayings for a reason.

A couple years ago a friend did this. We all said don't do it. She got transferred to a store she didn't like (and then quit) and he was eventually fired for petty crap. No one likes personal stuff at work.

It's unprofessional and it's stupid.
Click to expand...

actually its factual proof your statements are 100% wrong as your worded them ;)

thank you for proving my point though . . .you just proved your friend is an idiot and got himself fired for being one . . .
HE was unprofessional and HE was stupid

HUGE difference LMAO
 
Henrin said:
Do you have anything to say that isn't a personal attack?
Click to expand...

I don't think I need to.

He certainly should do the opposite of whatever you advise.
 
EMNofSeattle said:
From who's perspective?

unless the OP is like her supervisor or does something that is considered harassment there is nothing wrong here. I've worked places where people were dating within the company. it's not at all a problem most anywhere.
Click to expand...

exactly . . . saying its always a problem and people always end up fired are nonsensical lies. In my life anytime anybody got fired and a relationship was in the mix the relationship never got them fired. Them being idiots did.
 
AGENT J said:
simple question . . . do you like her?
if the answer is yes you ask her out . . .:shrug:

all the beware of the workplace romance stuff is crap as long as she isnt your boss or her dad isnt the boss lol

do you have normal relationships? then go for it. Ive dated girls at work and its never been an issue . . not once . . .in fact my current and longest relationship (probably my last one ever is a girl I work with) the one before that was a girl i worked with too and it was a great relationship. just wasnt met to be and we are ALL friends.

Could dating a girl at work be an issue? of course just like dating anybody could be an issue but I would NEVER let that stop me from asking out a girl i like. NEVER waste an opportunity IMO (within reason) dont live life scared or with regrets. GO FOR IT. if its a no, then at least you know . . if its a yes . . .possiblities are endless
Click to expand...
I'm with this guy.

As long as there's no negative workplace consequences due to chain of command, why not?

But you've got to be good with people, and good in relations. You've got to ask her out in a way that won't cause her discomfort if she doesn't reciprocate. And if you do hook-up, and it goes badly, you've got to be able to handle it well at work.

But I'd definitely go for it. I never let good opportunities pass me by, and I never feared to reach far above my weight class, including even during short chance meetings. Like so many things in life, you never know if you don't ask!
 
AGENT J said:
actually its factual proof your statements are 100% wrong as your worded them ;)

thank you for proving my point though . . .you just proved your friend is an idiot and got himself fired for being one . . .
HE was unprofessional and HE was stupid

HUGE difference LMAO
Click to expand...

Wrong. He was entirely professional and he's smart.

A professional environment does not want people hooking up at work. It invariably leads to distractions and issues.
 
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