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Should I ask this girl out?

ecofarm said:
I don't think I need to.

He certainly should do the opposite of whatever you advise.
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No offense, but your advise is stupid. You have him let love slip because of ridiculous concerns.
 
Henrin said:
No offense, but your advise is stupid. You have him let love slip because of ridiculous concerns.
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Don't sound so desperate.
 
Chomsky said:
I'm with this guy.

As long as there's no negative workplace consequences due to chain of command, why not?

But you've got to be good with people, and good in relations. You've got to ask her out in a way that won't cause her discomfort if she doesn't reciprocate. And if you do hook-up, and it goes badly, you've got to be able to handle it well at work.

But I'd definitely go for it. I never let good opportunities pass me by, and I never feared to reach far above my weight class, including even during short chance meetings. Like so many things in life, you never know if you don't ask!
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BINGO!
typically mature rational normal adults can handle these situations.

I will say this though if a persons relationships are known to crash and burn and always have drama THEN i would tell then avoid a work relationship but that advice would be based on their inability to function civilly not the relationship.
 
ecofarm said:
Anecdotal naivety.

"Don't crap where you eat" and "don't dip your pen in the company ink" are age-old sayings for a reason.

A couple years ago a friend did this. We all said don't do it. She got transferred to a store she didn't like (and then quit) and he was eventually fired for petty crap. No one likes personal stuff at work from couples.

It's unprofessional and it's stupid.
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If there's no chain of command issues, why where there be a problem?

As long as the individuals act with due professionality at work, I really can't see the problem. Why would there be?
 
ecofarm said:
Don't sound so desperate.
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Desperate? He likes the girl and there is no good reason to ignore that. Stop telling people to ignore their heart and let things slip by because you're scared of life.
 
Chomsky said:
If there's no chain of command issues, why where there be a problem?

As long as the individuals act with due professionality at work, I really can't see the problem. Why would there be?
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It leads to all sorts of distractions and issues. And if it ends, it's a nightmare for both people.

I'm amazed people have not learned this lesson. I was fortunate to learn it from watching others. I'm not so desperate as to need to go after co-workers, so it was never a question for me.
 
AGENT J said:
BINGO!
typically mature rational normal adults can handle these situations.

I will say this though if a persons relationships are known to crash and burn and always have drama THEN i would tell then avoid a work relationship but that advice would be based on their inability to function civilly not the relationship.
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If I ever make it to Pittsburgh, I'm going to buy you a beer! :cheers:
 
ecofarm said:
Wrong. He was entirely professional and he's smart.

A professional environment does not want people hooking up at work. It invariably leads to distractions and issues.
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you just proved he wasnt, why post a lie about it . . oh wait . . i know why...lol

Tell us again how this smart professional got himself fired for petty crap "because he brought his personal stuff to work" . . LMAO yeah sounds real professional

Never been an issue anywhere I worked more so than anything else so again your claims just arent accurate since you are trying and failing to push them as fact. They are not and already proven so ;)
 
Henrin said:
Desperate? He likes the girl and there is no good reason to ignore that. Stop telling people to ignore their heart and let things slip by because you're scared of life.
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"Oh, it might be your one true love!"

What a sad-sap line of crap.
 
ecofarm said:
"Oh, it might be your one true love!"

What a sad-sap line of crap.
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You have nothing but your fears that you think everyone else should live by.
 
AGENT J said:
BINGO!
typically mature rational normal adults can handle these situations.

I will say this though if a persons relationships are known to crash and burn and always have drama THEN i would tell then avoid a work relationship but that advice would be based on their inability to function civilly not the relationship.
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My last relationship was over 12mos. I'm a pretty serious boyfriend. I don't go out looking for something I have at home. And, if girls come onto me I always turn them down, when I'm previously committed. I don't drink or do drugs anymore, so there's no potential for lying about the maelstrom of **** that can arise from drinking and getting high.
 
Henrin said:
You have nothing but your fears that you think everyone else should live by.
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Relationships aren't just plug and play, randomly finding the "perfect person". If that were the case, banging everything in sight would eventually work. They're built over time. It's a special kind of stupid to think one just runs into the "perfect person".
 
ecofarm said:
It leads to all sorts of distractions and issues. And if it ends, it's a nightmare for both people.

I'm amazed people have not learned this lesson. I was fortunate to learn it from watching others. I'm not so desperate as to need to go after co-workers, so it was never a question for me.
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I very much disagree.

It's only a nightmare for immature unprofessional people. A large part of professional life is keeping your personal life out of the office. It's really not that hard, given maturity and a professional attitude.
 
Winston said:
Little back story, I started a new job, I've been there about 2 months. Right away, I noticed this stunning girl who works there. My first few weeks there, she would always stick around afterwards and drink beer with another coworker, while I was finishing up for the night. So, we would naturally end up talking and getting to know each other. All just light casual stuff. What do you like to do for fun? Where are you from? How old are you? Stuff like that. I thought at first, that she was dating the guy, she hung around with. Or, at least that they had a physical relationship, a couple times a week. Well, turns out that's not the case. Even though, I'm not totally convinced there isn't mutual attraction between them.

Anyway, eventually we added each other on facebook, and have talked on there a little bit. She's really responsive to my messages, and has shown equal interest in me, as I have in her. But, I've just been a friend to her. I can't recall ever hitting on her, at all. One night we were just talking about what kind of cookies we like, and she said her favorite was choc. chip. And I said, "I make the best choc. chip." Well, she disputed that, and said she could make better. So, I challenged her to a bake-off. I was trained by a pastry chef, so, I knew I could make some pretty damn good cookies, but, she was pretty confident hers were better. Maybe she was just in it for the sport of it. But, we brought the cookies in, and most everyone said mine were better. I sensed that her feelings were kind of hurt, so, instead of acting like an ass, I told her that her cookies were great and to not listen to the haters. And I told her, I really appreciated her baking them for everyone, and that we should have another challenge sometime with another item.

That was last week, and since then, I've kind of laid off talking to her as much as I had been. I did talk to her today for a little while, and I told her she was fun to work with. She told me I was "the best". And I was kind of dumbfounded, so I just said, "Thank you."

She has shown interest in me, but, since we work together, I've been taking it real slow, with revealing any sort of physical attraction, or, desire for a relationship. Since we will see each other basically all summer long, there is too much to lose by giving into temptation. So, I think once school starts back up, if there is still a spark there, I will ask her out. But, what do you think? Maybe just ask her what her days off are, and if she would go to the park and have lunch together?
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Follow your heart screw these bitter career people, thinking of their job before their heart.
 
ecofarm said:
1.)It leads to all sorts of distractions and issues.
2.) And if it ends, it's a nightmare for both people.
3.)I'm amazed people have not learned this lesson. I was fortunate to learn it from watching others. I'm not so desperate as to need to go after co-workers, so it was never a question for me.
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1.) again proving its about the PEOPLE involved and not about the relationship, its never "distracted" me explain to me how its factually distracting more so than any other relationship
2.) again . . you are talking about the people not the relationship . . im still friends with the vast majority of my exs so again explain why it would factually be a nightmare if it ends and that being the fault of the relationship and not the people
3.) LMAO more retardation. why is asking a girl out desperation because of where she works? Thats just dumb . . .

Cant wait for these answers but i bet you run from my questions instead ofanswering because theres ZERO facts you can bring to the table to make your claims (they way you state them) true.
Ready? GO!!!
 
Chomsky said:
I very much disagree.

It's only a nightmare for immature unprofessional people. A large part of professional life is keeping your personal life out of the office. It's really not that hard, given maturity and a professional attitude.
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Yeah, sure.

I hope he does it.

And I hope he tells us when it blows up in his face.
 
ecofarm said:
Relationships aren't just plug and play, randomly finding the "perfect person". If that were the case, banging everything in sight would eventually work. They're built over time. It's a special kind of stupid to think one just runs into the "perfect person".
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Seriously, just be quiet. You're only point up to this point has been concerns over it going wrong, so can it.
 
Henrin said:
Seriously, just be quiet. You're only point up to this point has been concerns over it going wrong, so can it.
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Sure, he should listen to the guy that spews misogynist crap all the time.
 
Winston said:
My last relationship was over 12mos. I'm a pretty serious boyfriend. I don't go out looking for something I have at home. And, if girls come onto me I always turn them down, when I'm previously committed. I don't drink or do drugs anymore, so there's no potential for lying about the maelstrom of **** that can arise from drinking and getting high.
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most importantly its YOUR CHOICE and what YOU are comfortable with . .

I would never give the advice of dont do simply based on her work location alone . . its illogical UNLESS theres other factors.

If you are good with you, i dont see why not . .
now that being said there have been TWO girls in my life time that asked me out that I worked with that I MIGHT have gone out with if they didnt work with me . . but guess what . . again my decision was based on THEM . . they didnt quite seem trustworthy to NOT be a drama queen. They didnt seem mature enough to handle that so I declined.

Its the people involved NOT the location.

If you truly like the girl ask her out . . . you like her enough to ask for advice so i say that counts . . its not just some thing piggish and lame like "aw man she got a hot ass" . . you really like her . . she does somethign for you . . .never waste that ;)
 
ecofarm said:
Yeah, sure.

I hope he does it.

And I hope he tells us when it blows up in his face.
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Best part is if it does (i hope it doesnt) your dishonest posts STILL wont be right LMAO
 
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