- Joined
- Jan 25, 2012
- Messages
- 31,376
- Reaction score
- 28,719
- Location
- Vancouver, Canada Dual citizen
- Gender
- Male
- Political Leaning
- Independent
Was it a short trip?
I was engaged to another woman about 15 years ago, and we discussed this. Her thought of my alone time was her retreating to another portion of the house for an hour.on the Myers Brigg I am an ENFP which means although I am an extrovert I need a lot of quiet/contemplative time and I enjoy being alone
I understand your panic
you have to talk to her, no doubt about it
I need lots of space or I can't regroup...he understands that if I don't "regroup" I get super grumpy....you might have to explain in stages and when opportunity presents itself...that works best for me
best of luck...I feel your pain
How much time with your spouse/SO is too much?
I'm a serious introvert. I like my "alone time". My wife is a serious extrovert.
Our current situation is like this:
- I recently got transferred to another office and my commute was cut in half from 45 minutes to 20 minutes.
- My wife works 45 minutes away.
- My wife works on a rotating schedule, meaning she gets one full weekend and one other Saturday off each month.
- We spend evening together and honestly do enjoy each other's company.
- She is pushing her work for all weekends off so we can spend all our free time together.
:neutral:
Don't get me wrong. I love my wife dearly. But, I spend all day at work with people. I then spend all evenings with my wife. I spend 3 weekend says a months with her as well. I'd be fine if she got two full weekends off, that'd be cool, but to be brutally honest, I value my 4-5 days a month where I get to be alone for most of the day. I feel like that's what keeps me sane.
Then there's another rub, and this one actually has me somewhat anxious. A good friend of ours, who works less than a block away from where I work now, is pushing hard for my wife to get a job there. :doh
*sigh* So then, I would have virtually no alone time throughout the month whatsoever. I'd be around other people at work. When not at work I'd be with my wife during all evenings, during all weekends, and even during the drive to work.
I seriously don't know what to do. I have thought of texting our friend and asking her to stop pushing for the job there. If I express my concerns to me wife I can almost guarantee I'd hurt her feelings, and I don't want to do that. But, I am who I am. I don't need or want constant interaction with people 24/7.
I honestly don't understand how some people can live AND work together all the fricken time with never a break.
Thoughts?
I was engaged to another woman about 15 years ago, and we discussed this. Her thought of my alone time was her retreating to another portion of the house for an hour.
Ummm, no. That's not it.
She and I were greatly compatible overall, but she was insanely insecure and jealous, and this "hour solution" was part of her needing to keep me close by at all times. The jealousy is why we eventually parted ways.
I'm sitting here nodding my head like a bobble-head dog in the rear window of a car at a low-rider hopping contest. :lol:OMGggggggggg I soooooooooo understand that
this guy I am with now can disappear for hours and do his own thing
it's not that I don't love my partner, it's because I do that I need alone time...I need to center myself and just be alone
people need to understand "give me some f'ing time to miss you...let my being know it's time to rejoin"
otherwise...well....yeah like you I can't be with someone who constantly NEEDS to be around me...this guy was that way at the beginning...I remember when we first hooked up....two decades ago...I remember him saying...."wow, I have managed to visit you four times today between clients" and I remember thinking.........."yes, yes you f'ing have"
I can't breathe...literally with that kind of closeness
now he gets it....give her a chance....you have to retrain her... :mrgreen:
eace
I'm sitting here nodding my head like a bobble-head dog in the rear window of a car at a low-rider hopping contest. :lol:
How much time with your spouse/SO is too much?
I'm a serious introvert. I like my "alone time". My wife is a serious extrovert.
Our current situation is like this:
- I recently got transferred to another office and my commute was cut in half from 45 minutes to 20 minutes.
- My wife works 45 minutes away.
- My wife works on a rotating schedule, meaning she gets one full weekend and one other Saturday off each month.
- We spend evening together and honestly do enjoy each other's company.
- She is pushing her work for all weekends off so we can spend all our free time together.
:neutral:
Don't get me wrong. I love my wife dearly. But, I spend all day at work with people. I then spend all evenings with my wife. I spend 3 weekend says a months with her as well. I'd be fine if she got two full weekends off, that'd be cool, but to be brutally honest, I value my 4-5 days a month where I get to be alone for most of the day. I feel like that's what keeps me sane.
Then there's another rub, and this one actually has me somewhat anxious. A good friend of ours, who works less than a block away from where I work now, is pushing hard for my wife to get a job there. :doh
*sigh* So then, I would have virtually no alone time throughout the month whatsoever. I'd be around other people at work. When not at work I'd be with my wife during all evenings, during all weekends, and even during the drive to work.
I seriously don't know what to do. I have thought of texting our friend and asking her to stop pushing for the job there. If I express my concerns to me wife I can almost guarantee I'd hurt her feelings, and I don't want to do that. But, I am who I am. I don't need or want constant interaction with people 24/7.
I honestly don't understand how some people can live AND work together all the fricken time with never a break.
Thoughts?