- Joined
- Apr 28, 2011
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Imagine what would happen if people put that much effort into saving their marriages....
You nor I know what people expect from a marriage. We don't know the situations involved. We don't know the amount of initial commitment each individual took into the marriage. We don't know the circumstances that evolved and threatened the marriage. We don't know the amount of individual effort either partner put into saving the marriage. There is no way on earth we have the right to sit and judge any person regarding their work to save their marriage.
In my case, I was the second person in my family over many generations to become divorced. I didn't take it lightly and I don't take it lightly today.
We went to our priest for counseling. We liked him very much. He eventually suggested we try a nun who was extremely well regarded as a marriage counselor, though we didn't know of her. In fact our priest volunteered to intercede for us to get an appointment with her. She was that good. In fact she was truly blessed and gifted. We tried and she tried. It didn't work.
Later she suggested I continue on my own with her to "make it a successful divorce". WTF? A nun said that. Right? She also suggested that if I worked on it I should have a better marriage in the future, making fewer mistakes. I agreed. We worked together. It was work. I stuck it out but I did not enjoy it. I did, however, have complete faith in this special woman's ability. At the same time I planned never, ever, to become married again.
Seven years later, I became married a second time. It's been a great marriage. I'm a lucky sumbitch. I had a lot of support. My wife is 1,000 times my better half. I am were I am supposed to be. It wasn't easy getting here.
YOU could never convince me I'd be just as happy in my first marriage. No way. Not a damn chance. Never happen and what's more you can't possibly know what effort anyone put into where I was or where I am. Given what I know I would never say, "imagine what would happen if people put that much effort into saving their marriages....".