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Did you ever divorce ?

Did you ever divorce ?


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I wonder whether this is a good thing to do or not but I decided to divorce my husband

It is unhealthy to be in a dysfunctional relationship. Nobody profits.
That being said, I'd hope there has been some extra hard work put into trying to save the marriage before it reaches that stage. Counseling?

You guys don't seem to have been married that long. Year or two?

What changed from ecstatic about getting married to looking at divorce in such a short time?

(only answer if you're comfortable doing so - if you aren't that's fine too)
 
it is unhealthy to be in a dysfunctional relationship. Nobody profits.
That being said, i'd hope there has been some extra hard work put into trying to save the marriage before it reaches that stage. Counseling?

You guys don't seem to have been married that long. Year or two?

What changed from ecstatic about getting married to looking at divorce in such a short time?

(only answer if you're comfortable doing so - if you aren't that's fine too)

pm ...
 
I wonder whether this is a good thing to do or not but I decided to divorce my husband

If someone doesn't respect you as a person, it's better to seperate than to try to change them. One big thing many people do as a mistake is think that, for example, having a child together will 'fix' things. It doesn't.
 
If someone doesn't respect you as a person, it's better to seperate than to try to change them. One big thing many people do as a mistake is think that, for example, having a child together will 'fix' things. It doesn't.

I never think like that,unhappiness is not what a child deserves
 
I married my neighbor back in the 80s when I was 5 or 6. Never got divorced, though....

You got married when you were 5 or 6??
 
Married for 50 years and counting. Neither of my parents - and neither of my wife's parents - were ever divorced.
 
Starter marriage. We weren't happy. I certainly wasn't. Divorced and 7 years later I got married to my current and permanent wife. Things are completely different in this marriage. I can't imagine still being married to my first wife. She was a nice person but we were never meant to be married. I can't imagine not being married to my present wife. It works.

Life is too short to lie in bed every night next to someone you don't love. Or as David Allen Coe sang "Even though we're lying here together in this bed, I believe we're lying here alone."

If you aren't happy you have the power to set yourself free. It will be a lot of work but it can be well worth it.
 
No, and (though, no doubt, everyone says this) we don't intend to. Our marriage has fought through quite a lot at this point - it would take something pretty serious (unrepentant adultery, perhaps) to end it.

Marriage is supposed to be a lifetime bond, you are supposed to become a single entity in the eyes of God and (to a slightly lesser extent) the eyes of the law. It ought to be more difficult to break up than a lease or a mortgage. For couples with minor children, I would support ending No-Fault.

My mother was a very devout Catholic. She stood by my dad for over 50 years being treated like dirt, cheated on and verbally abused. In a nutshell, she played martyr by allowing someone to treat her like garbage. Many times we begged her to leave him and be happy. She laughed and stated that a person should only be married once in the eyes of God.

Last summer, my mom passed away. She was watching TV and fell off her chair. My dad--being the loving and caring compassionate person that he is--let her lay there for about 4 hours before dialling 911. My brother and I didn't find out to the very next day. She was on life support after suffering a stroke. She died a day later. She was heavily involved in the church and befriended many priests who all came to her wake and funeral. All but one told me they encouraged my mother to leave my dad. I was stunned. I wish she would have listened.
 
Starter marriage. We weren't happy. I certainly wasn't. Divorced and 7 years later I got married to my current and permanent wife. Things are completely different in this marriage. I can't imagine still being married to my first wife. She was a nice person but we were never meant to be married. I can't imagine not being married to my present wife. It works.

Life is too short to lie in bed every night next to someone you don't love. Or as David Allen Coe sang "Even though we're lying here together in this bed, I believe we're lying here alone."

If you aren't happy you have the power to set yourself free. It will be a lot of work but it can be well worth it.

That grand old Puritan Milton argued persuasively for divorce. When they think of him, most people think of Paradise Lost, but he was famed and also infamous in his day for his divorce tracts.
 
My mother was a very devout Catholic. She stood by my dad for over 50 years being treated like dirt, cheated on and verbally abused. In a nutshell, she played martyr by allowing someone to treat her like garbage. Many times we begged her to leave him and be happy. She laughed and stated that a person should only be married once in the eyes of God.

Last summer, my mom passed away. She was watching TV and fell off her chair. My dad--being the loving and caring compassionate person that he is--let her lay there for about 4 hours before dialling 911. My brother and I didn't find out to the very next day. She was on life support after suffering a stroke. She died a day later. She was heavily involved in the church and befriended many priests who all came to her wake and funeral. All but one told me they encouraged my mother to leave my dad. I was stunned. I wish she would have listened.

A shining example of how ORGANIZED RELIGION has been totally corrupted by man.

I know a lady who's currently living this nightmare as well.
The worst part is her children are learning how a frighteningly dysfunctional relationship, is a "normal" relationship.

This kind of idiocy within a religion breeds stupidity.
 
That grand old Puritan Milton argued persuasively for divorce. When they think of him, most people think of Paradise Lost, but he was famed and also infamous in his day for his divorce tracts.

When I think of Milton I think of Areopagitic, but I'm weird and it suits me. Milton was brave (or at least outspoken) and brilliant. I had forgotten about his divorce tracts. Thank you for mentioning them. It should be interesting to go back and read them.

And Happy Easter to you, by the way.
 
Once when I got sick of being married, and a second time when I got sick of being married to wife #2.
 
My mother was a very devout Catholic. She stood by my dad for over 50 years being treated like dirt, cheated on and verbally abused. In a nutshell, she played martyr by allowing someone to treat her like garbage. Many times we begged her to leave him and be happy. She laughed and stated that a person should only be married once in the eyes of God.

Last summer, my mom passed away. She was watching TV and fell off her chair. My dad--being the loving and caring compassionate person that he is--let her lay there for about 4 hours before dialling 911. My brother and I didn't find out to the very next day. She was on life support after suffering a stroke. She died a day later. She was heavily involved in the church and befriended many priests who all came to her wake and funeral. All but one told me they encouraged my mother to leave my dad. I was stunned. I wish she would have listened.

Wow! Just wow! I am sorry to hear that MG, but thanks for sharing.
 
Back in 1986, I think it was, Ireland had its first divorce referendum. Basically, as I recall, the propose law would require couples who applied for divorce to wait two years before it could/would be granted.

I was sitting in a little pub in Roscrea one afternoon having a pint when the only two other people in the pub were to old fellows began talking about the proposed divorce law and how they voted and why. One guy said, "It's shameful sitting here talking about the right to get divorced when sitting there is an American listening to us. They've had divorce forever and we've only just voted on it for the first time."

They introduced themselves and brought me into the conversation as the Irish always do with strangers whenever they have the chance.

The two guys talked about how they both supported the proposed law and voted for it. One of the old guys said that while he didn't agree with the 2 year wait it would be better than nothing.

The other guy said, "What are you talking about? I voted for it but there's no 2 year wait to get a ****ing divorce."

"Yes, there is. You voted for it and you don't ****ing know what you voted for so", said the first old guy.

"I well know how I voted and why and it wasn't to wait 2 years. That's sh*te."

They argued back and forth until they asked the bartender - the arbiter of all truth in most bars and pubs the world over - whether the proposed law said that there must be a two year wait or not, after filing for divorce. The bartender settled the argument explaining that there was to be a 2 year wait.

After a bit of silence the one old guy said, "Jesus. I can't ****ing believe it. I voted for the damn thing and now I find out that it wasn't what I thought it was."

The first old guy asked, "You voted for it and you don't even know what you voted for? What did you think the law says?"

"Well I'll tell you, and I was certain of it or I wouldn't have voted for it. I thought the proposed law said that you have to get divorced every two years."

:shock: :lamo
 
I have. I am not proud of it and regret that I did not exercise better judgement in mate selection.



But there's only so much a person can take, and it was very bad.
 
If you aren't happy you have the power to set yourself free. It will be a lot of work but it can be well worth it.

Imagine what would happen if people put that much effort into saving their marriages....
 
You got married when you were 5 or 6??

Yep. I wore my Bambi blanket as a robe walking down the "aisle" toward the "pastor" who was my brother standing at the sink. :)
 
When I think of Milton I think of Areopagitic, but I'm weird and it suits me. Milton was brave (or at least outspoken) and brilliant. I had forgotten about his divorce tracts. Thank you for mentioning them. It should be interesting to go back and read them.

And Happy Easter to you, by the way.

And to you too, my friend.

Yes, do revisit Milton's argument. I believe you will appreciate it.
 
I have. I am not proud of it and regret that I did not exercise better judgement in mate selection ~

People change sometimes or they reveal their true personality after marriage. My ex-wife was a bit of both and she had no desire to make things work. I "get" that some people feel they made a commitment to their god, I get that some people see a lifetime bond.

None of that counts when only one person has tried making it work and it counts even less when you finally realise the other person just isn't worth trying to jump through all sorts of hoops for just to maintain some promise you feel you have to honour forever. Especially when that other person certainly doesn't feel the same way.

Don't ever feel a lack of pride if you had to break that bond - especially when that other person has put minimal effort into making the marriage work. Feel proud of the effort you made and don't feel obliged by the judgement of others on the internet.
 
And to you too, my friend.

Yes, do revisit Milton's argument. I believe you will appreciate it.


I was unaware of Milton's pamphlets supporting divorce, and am glad you mentioned it.
 
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