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Question for people in relationships

Winston

Winston

Give me convenience or give me death
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Hey,

I have a question for people in relationships. If you're married it may apply but, it seems childish for a marriage.

How does it make you feel when your significant other checks other people out in front of you?

Do they do it?

Do they not do it out of respect for you? If they did how would you handle it? Would you get jealous? Would you hold it in? One variable to consider would be their history of fidelity. Do you value an open enough relationship to allow for such minor flirtations?
 


Did that help?
 
Let the imagination go where it may as long as the body does not follow.
 
rhinefire said:
Let the imagination go where it may as long as the body does not follow.
Click to expand...

Or as one of my married friends (female) from college wisely told me. I don't care where he gets the appetite as long as he eats at home.
 
Winston said:
Hey,

I have a question for people in relationships. If you're married it may apply but, it seems childish for a marriage.

How does it make you feel when your significant other checks other people out in front of you?

Do they do it?

Do they not do it out of respect for you? If they did how would you handle it? Would you get jealous? Would you hold it in? One variable to consider would be their history of fidelity. Do you value an open enough relationship to allow for such minor flirtations?
Click to expand...

Speaking from the perspective of an old married guy if you're secure in your relationship these things shouldn't bother you if it's limited to appreciation. That being said if it bothers your partner or vice versa it's probably better off not being done.
 
Winston said:
Hey,

I have a question for people in relationships. If you're married it may apply but, it seems childish for a marriage.

How does it make you feel when your significant other checks other people out in front of you?

Do they do it?

Do they not do it out of respect for you? If they did how would you handle it? Would you get jealous? Would you hold it in? One variable to consider would be their history of fidelity. Do you value an open enough relationship to allow for such minor flirtations?
Click to expand...

To be honest, the only aspect of that which would bother me is if they were really oggling and leering, because that's rude and degrading to do to someone. I don't like men who leer at women, myself or anyone else.

Otherwise, I honestly don't care.

If there is a history of lying, I wouldn't be with them, quite frankly. My trust is a fragile thing. Anyone who's with me knows that, and knows honesty is a must if they have any designs on me sticking around. I really don't care WHAT the thing they have to tell me is -- I'm not a jealous person, nor one who places much value on tradition. As long as they TELL me what the thing is.

So history wouldn't come into it, because lying to me is an insta-dump.
 
SmokeAndMirrors said:
To be honest, the only aspect of that which would bother me is if they were really oggling and leering, because that's rude and degrading to do to someone. I don't like men who leer at women, myself or anyone else.

Otherwise, I honestly don't care.

If there is a history of lying, I wouldn't be with them, quite frankly. My trust is a fragile thing. Anyone who's with me knows that, and knows honesty is a must if they have any designs on me sticking around. I really don't care WHAT the thing they have to tell me is -- I'm not a jealous person, nor one who places much value on tradition. As long as they TELL me what the thing is.

So history wouldn't come into it, because lying to me is an insta-dump.
Click to expand...

A lot of people have trust complexes. I think especially if you are a good person who has known betrayal, it's hard to trust someone again. Because as a good person, you want to give people the benefit of the doubt and suppose that other people act in kindness too but, that's not always the case. So, once you've been lied to or bamboozled it's hard to go back to being naive. Of course if alcohol is involved that tends to ~ complicate things. "I didn't mean what I said, or I made a mistake but, I was drinking."

As far as minor flirtations, if I knew I could trust her to never cross any physical boundaries I wouldn't care at all. I am jaded right now though. Maybe I'm just lost in this sad and beautiful world.
 
Winston said:
Hey,

I have a question for people in relationships. If you're married it may apply but, it seems childish for a marriage.

How does it make you feel when your significant other checks other people out in front of you?

Do they do it?

Do they not do it out of respect for you? If they did how would you handle it? Would you get jealous? Would you hold it in? One variable to consider would be their history of fidelity. Do you value an open enough relationship to allow for such minor flirtations?
Click to expand...

I would only do that insofar as the significant other would. My wife would never "check out" other people, so I return the favor. Or rather, if she wouldn't do that, then I would be extremely wise not to do it either. But "checking out" doesn't mean making a simple statement of fact, such as "Well that guy is ripped," or Wow, that woman sure is stacked."
 
Last edited:
Winston said:
Hey,

I have a question for people in relationships. If you're married it may apply but, it seems childish for a marriage.

How does it make you feel when your significant other checks other people out in front of you?

Do they do it?

Do they not do it out of respect for you? If they did how would you handle it? Would you get jealous? Would you hold it in? One variable to consider would be their history of fidelity. Do you value an open enough relationship to allow for such minor flirtations?
Click to expand...

She knows I carry a .45, so.......what do you think?

:usflag2:
 
Winston said:
If you're married it may apply but, it seems childish for a marriage.
Click to expand...

Why?

Does some part of you die when you get married? (opening a can of worms there....)


Perhaps you should define "check out"?
 
Dragonfly said:
Why?

Does some part of you die when you get married? (opening a can of worms there....)


Perhaps you should define "check out"?
Click to expand...

lol, not saying that. I meant that relationships evolve past pettiness.
 
"I never cheated on my spouse, after all, it's not cheating if you don't get caught".
 
Winston said:
Hey,

I have a question for people in relationships. If you're married it may apply but, it seems childish for a marriage.

How does it make you feel when your significant other checks other people out in front of you?

Do they do it?

Do they not do it out of respect for you? If they did how would you handle it? Would you get jealous? Would you hold it in? One variable to consider would be their history of fidelity. Do you value an open enough relationship to allow for such minor flirtations?
Click to expand...

If they are just looking that is fine. If they start commenting, it gets a little dicey.
 
Winston said:
Hey,

I have a question for people in relationships. If you're married it may apply but, it seems childish for a marriage.

How does it make you feel when your significant other checks other people out in front of you?

Do they do it?

Do they not do it out of respect for you? If they did how would you handle it? Would you get jealous? Would you hold it in? One variable to consider would be their history of fidelity. Do you value an open enough relationship to allow for such minor flirtations?
Click to expand...

I am not a jealous person.

Why would it bother anybody, if things are OK at home, that is?
 
Winchester said:
Speaking from the perspective of an old married guy if you're secure in your relationship these things shouldn't bother you if it's limited to appreciation. That being said if it bothers your partner or vice versa it's probably better off not being done.
Click to expand...

Sometimes that is the only reason to do it.
 
SmokeAndMirrors said:
To be honest, the only aspect of that which would bother me is if they were really oggling and leering, because that's rude and degrading to do to someone. I don't like men who leer at women, myself or anyone else.

Otherwise, I honestly don't care.

If there is a history of lying, I wouldn't be with them, quite frankly. My trust is a fragile thing. Anyone who's with me knows that, and knows honesty is a must if they have any designs on me sticking around. I really don't care WHAT the thing they have to tell me is -- I'm not a jealous person, nor one who places much value on tradition. As long as they TELL me what the thing is.

So history wouldn't come into it, because lying to me is an insta-dump.
Click to expand...

If you don't have honesty and respect, you don't have a relationship.
 
Winston said:
lol, not saying that. I meant that relationships evolve past pettiness.
Click to expand...

Lol...marriages don't evolve past that. It can pop up at any time. As to the topic, people talk about insecurities and such as if everyone is brimming with confidence and you value your relationship less or w/e if someone has them.

I think, at the very least, openly checking other people out is somewhat rude and inconsiderate.
 
Winston said:
Hey,

I have a question for people in relationships. If you're married it may apply but, it seems childish for a marriage.

How does it make you feel when your significant other checks other people out in front of you?

Do they do it?

Do they not do it out of respect for you? If they did how would you handle it? Would you get jealous? Would you hold it in? One variable to consider would be their history of fidelity. Do you value an open enough relationship to allow for such minor flirtations?
Click to expand...

In our marriage we actually point out people to our spouses that we know they would enjoy viewing.
 
Mason66 said:
If you don't have honesty and respect, you don't have a relationship.
Click to expand...

The problem with statements like this, is some people will tell you that there is no honesty or respect there if you are "checking out" others of your attraction, even with your partner(s) pointing them out to you. It doesn't matter if they are the ones setting you up in the first place. I would modify your statement as, "If you don't have honesty and respect, as defined by those within the relationship, you don't have a relationship." This says you acknowledge that your definition of honesty and respect might not match others.
 
Fishking said:
I think, at the very least, openly checking other people out is somewhat rude and inconsiderate.
Click to expand...

To the partner or the one being looked at?
 
Fishking said:
I'd say both.
Click to expand...

So if my partner(s) is the one pointing the individual out to me to look at, how is that being rude to them? I comprehend your point as to the one being looked at.
 
maquiscat said:
So if my partner(s) is the one pointing the individual out to me to look at, how is that being rude to them? I comprehend your point as to the one being looked at.
Click to expand...

Maybe it doesn't bother you. I think it bothers most people, though.
 
Winston said:
Hey,

I have a question for people in relationships. If you're married it may apply but, it seems childish for a marriage.

How does it make you feel when your significant other checks other people out in front of you?

Do they do it?

Do they not do it out of respect for you? If they did how would you handle it? Would you get jealous? Would you hold it in? One variable to consider would be their history of fidelity. Do you value an open enough relationship to allow for such minor flirtations?
Click to expand...

In an open relationship with multiple people; not an issue.
 
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