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Why does this girl have feelings for me?

Kelfuma

Kelfuma

Banned
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Location
Atlanta
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So there's this coworker at my workplace who has feelings for me but she already has a boyfriend? It's making me all confused and frustrated and I can't really be her friend since she knows I like her too.
 
Kelfuma said:
So there's this coworker at my workplace who has feelings for me but she already has a boyfriend? It's making me all confused and frustrated and I can't really be her friend since she knows I like her too.
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Learn to love yourself before you seek love from someone else. God can help.
 
Kelfuma said:
So there's this coworker at my workplace who has feelings for me but she already has a boyfriend? It's making me all confused and frustrated and I can't really be her friend since she knows I like her too.
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That sucks, dude.
 
Tell her you can't go out with someone already attached.
 
Well, if she ants to cheat with you it's likely she would want to cheat on you..

So if that's a big taboo dealbreaker for you there is that..

Are you sure she actually "likes" you or could it be she wants something from you professionally?

If you want to have some fun sure, but if you want a committed relationship this girl has already threw up some red flags..
 
late said:
Tell her you can't go out with someone already attached.
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I feel awful about it, but I told her I would wait for her. My feelings are very strong towards her.
 
Kelfuma said:
So there's this coworker at my workplace who has feelings for me but she already has a boyfriend? It's making me all confused and frustrated and I can't really be her friend since she knows I like her too.
Click to expand...

Is this the same girl you were talking about before? The girl who plays immature high school games? If so, I suggest you make a decision:

Do you want to have a serious relationship with her? Don't. Wait till she grows up.

Do you just want to get into her pants? Go for it. But be aware that her boyfriend just might beat your ass if he finds out and that one of you...or both of you...might get fired if you cause problems at your workplace. Most employers don't have time for that kind of drama.
 
Mycroft said:
Do you want to have a serious relationship with her? Don't. Wait till she grows up.

Do you just want to get into her pants? Go for it.
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Definitely test drive that **** before you make any important decisions.. You may find it fun to drive at first but not practical for every day life due to annoying noises and handling quirks, poorly placed radio controls and cupholders, etc..

Try before you buy..
 
Orly? said:
Well, if she ants to cheat with you it's likely she would want to cheat on you..

So if that's a big taboo dealbreaker for you there is that..

Are you sure she actually "likes" you or could it be she wants something from you professionally?

If you want to have some fun sure, but if you want a committed relationship this girl has already threw up some red flags..
Click to expand...

I am very, very positive that she really likes me but she is very young (only just 18).
 
Mycroft said:
Is this the same girl you were talking about before? The girl who plays immature high school games? If so, I suggest you make a decision:

Do you want to have a serious relationship with her? Don't. Wait till she grows up.

Do you just want to get into her pants? Go for it. But be aware that her boyfriend just might beat your ass if he finds out and that one of you...or both of you...might get fired if you cause problems at your workplace. Most employers don't have time for that kind of drama.
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I told her that I would wait for her.
 
Do it, take a shot..

At least then you will know and not have missed that chance..

I'd say you are better off getting into something you may have to get back out of than not getting into something in the first place...

If she's 18 and attractive you best not wait too long because they seem to have a slightly shorter attention span than average so you better strike while the steel is hot..

If shes not perfect some training is not out of the question with her being young and still being molded by life a lot..

What's the worst that could happen? Lose your job?
What are you going to remember in 20 years? That job or that girl?
 
Kelfuma said:
I feel awful about it, but I told her I would wait for her. My feelings are very strong towards her.
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IOW, you are her backup plan.

You don't want to be her backup plan, she's using you.
 
Kelfuma said:
I told her that I would wait for her.
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Don't wait for her.

You get on with your life...who knows, you may meet the woman of your dreams...and let her get on with her life. If she matures a bit and decides you are the one, she'll come back.
 
If you know what's best for you, you'd steer clear from a woman in a relationship. Besides the morality of poaching women, you'll constantly be looking over your shoulder and questioning the fidelity of your partner until you either ruin the relationship or drink from the same cup.
 
Orly? said:
Shes a teen, it's not like he'd be a homewrecker..
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That didn't cross my mind, as the demographic of this forum feels quite mature.
 
You do not wait for a woman who has a boyfriend, it does not compute.

I think I agree, you are her backup...this is not good for you in any way. Also, cheating carries extra excitement, if someone isn't bothered by the guilt, they get that extra kick of excitement when they cheat...again, not a healthy thing to try.

In fact, if your goal is to be with her, getting on with your life, even getting a girlfriend, is still the better play for you.
Or, just tell her you want to date her if you wants to break up. Be blunt, and nice, no pleading :) In the case that she's just scared of leaving what she has, she needs a kick to get her off the fence.

First loves thought..always hard. But keep in mind that's because its a first, not because its more "real or better" in the realistic sense. Emotionally though, that first love always gets special treatment...just how our brains work. You could always find a way to fight with her and hate her, it may clear out those feelings :) (kidding, that's not my advice...at least I don't think it is!)
 
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Orly? said:
Do it, take a shot..

At least then you will know and not have missed that chance..

I'd say you are better off getting into something you may have to get back out of than not getting into something in the first place...
What's the worst that could happen? Lose your job?
What are you going to remember in 20 years? That job or that girl?
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It would definitely be the girl, I've had regrets over girls in the past over everything else. I have very strong evidence that she has feelings and affection towards me. I've already done my best to get closer to her (I asked her to hang out with me 3 times all refused). I just have to wait and have faith in the meantime. If it's meant to be, she will come without me having to do anything else.
 
Kelfuma said:
So there's this coworker at my workplace who has feelings for me but she already has a boyfriend? It's making me all confused and frustrated and I can't really be her friend since she knows I like her too.
Click to expand...

Is there a ring on the finger? Women can change their mind when presented with a more suitable match. There is nothing wrong with her exploring her options before deciding. Don't get caught up in the importance of monogamy, dating is for finding someone that is compatible. Not dedicating yourself to whoever comes first out of some sense of obligation.
 
Kelfuma said:
It would definitely be the girl, I've had regrets over girls in the past over everything else. I have very strong evidence that she has feelings and affection towards me. I've already done my best to get closer to her (I asked her to hang out with me 3 times all refused). I just have to wait and have faith in the meantime. If it's meant to be, she will come without me having to do anything else.
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Out of curiosity what's the age difference between you two?
 
ThoughtEx. said:
Is there a ring on the finger? Women can change their mind when presented with a more suitable match. There is nothing wrong with her exploring her options before deciding. Don't get caught up in the importance of monogamy, dating is for finding someone that is compatible. Not dedicating yourself to whoever comes first out of some sense of obligation.
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Nah, she's just 18, not even out of high school yet.
 
Kelfuma said:
So there's this coworker at my workplace who has feelings for me but she already has a boyfriend? It's making me all confused and frustrated and I can't really be her friend since she knows I like her too.
Click to expand...

Been there, done that---in fact, there are few things I haven't. My advice. It won't end well.

1. You win her over, but her BF becomes a PITA getting you into trouble when you kick his ass for peaking into your windows while you are having sex

2. She strings you along to get her BF to make a more firm commitment

3. SHe cheats on her bf with you and swings your emotions like a yoyo as she resorts back to #2 or worse #1.
 
Kelfuma said:
Nah, she's just 18, not even out of high school yet.
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If it were me, I'd wait til she graduates, to make a move. Once she's settled on a college (assuming she's going, hopefully for science, we need more scientists) and you know she will remain in the area. Otherwise you might be setting yourself up for a fun summer followed by heartbreak.
 
calamity said:
Been there, done that---in fact, there are few things I haven't. My advice. It won't end well.

1. You win her over, but her BF becomes a PITA getting you into trouble when you kick his ass for peaking into your windows while you are having sex

2. She strings you along to get her BF to make a more firm commitment

3. SHe cheats on her bf with you and swings your emotions like a yoyo as she resorts back to #2 or worse #1.
Click to expand...

I have prayed to God for her every night ever since I first saw her 3 months ago. God told me that she was for me and that I should be patient. It's just painful the entire process.
 
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