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Why does this girl have feelings for me?

Kelfuma said:
So there's this coworker at my workplace who has feelings for me but she already has a boyfriend? It's making me all confused and frustrated and I can't really be her friend since she knows I like her too.
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This is all just so unnecessary. How many posts have you made about her now?

I guarantee you that you won't even remember this girl in 5 years. You don't even know her, dude. You certainly don't know she's "the one." You just met, and you guys haven't even spent any real time together. In all likelihood, the only thing you like about her is that she's cute and you can't have her. That's a powerful aphrodisiac when you don't know any better.

As a general rule, you don't want to be with anyone who would cheat on their partner to be with you. Because hey, guess what? If she'll cheat on him, she'll cheat on you.

And besides all that, even if she does have feelings for you (and personally, I think there's coin-toss odds that you're just projecting out of a want to believe), she has obviously decided her feelings for you are less important than her feelings for her boyfriend, as evidenced by her refusing you three times in a row. Leave her alone already.

Move on with your life, dude. This is just some little thing-that-never-was, and it won't even be a footnote in your life story by the time you turn 30. We've all had, like, 100 of these, by the time we're exiting our youth. Dime a dozen. Move on to something that actually matters.
 
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SmokeAndMirrors said:
This is all just so unnecessary. How many posts have you made about her now?

I guarantee you that you won't even remember this girl in 5 years. You don't even know her, dude. You certainly don't know she's "the one." You just met, and you guys haven't even spent any real time together. In all likelihood, the only thing you like about her is that she's cute and you can't have her. That's a powerful aphrodisiac when you don't know any better.

As a general rule, you don't want to be with anyone who would cheat on their partner to be with you. Because hey, guess what? If she'll cheat on him, she'll cheat on you.

And besides all that, even if she does have feelings for you (and personally, I think there's coin-toss odds that you're just projecting out of a want to believe), she has obviously decided her feelings for you are less important than her feelings for her boyfriend, as evidenced by her refusing you three times in a row. Leave her alone already.

Move on with your life, dude. This is just some little thing-that-never-was, and it won't even be a footnote in your life story by the time you turn 30. We've all had, like, 100 of these, by the time we're exiting our youth. Dime a dozen. Move on to something that actually matters.
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God will lead me to true love. And true love has led me to Truth. I have seen this in my own life.
 
Kelfuma said:
God will lead me to true love. And true love has led me to Truth. I have seen this in my own life.
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Well. There you go then.

Get off this subject...at least on this forum...and trust in god.
 
Kelfuma said:
I am very, very positive that she really likes me but she is very young (only just 18).
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You have a long wait. Most people even start to having their **** together until after 25.
 
Kelfuma said:
God will lead me to true love. And true love has led me to Truth. I have seen this in my own life.
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Didn't you say you're only 21?

I suspect you will see a hell of a lot more in your life, and it won't have much to do with love conquering all or leading to "truth." Trust me on that.
 
Orly? said:
Well, if she ants to cheat with you it's likely she would want to cheat on you..

So if that's a big taboo dealbreaker for you there is that..

Are you sure she actually "likes" you or could it be she wants something from you professionally?

If you want to have some fun sure, but if you want a committed relationship this girl has already threw up some red flags..
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Nothing in the OP indicates that this girl is intending on cheating on her boyfriend, although neither is there any indication that she is not.

First off, admitting to feelings is not the same as acting on them. Just because some people cannot concept how an individual can be so honestly open about such things without acting on them, does not mean such people exist.

Secondly the girl and her boyfriend may be poly, and as such she would not be cheating on the boyfriend. That is not to say it makes things alright for the OP. Simply that there are other possibilities out there, and poly is gaining momentum.
 
ThoughtEx. said:
Is there a ring on the finger? Women can change their mind when presented with a more suitable match. There is nothing wrong with her exploring her options before deciding. Don't get caught up in the importance of monogamy, dating is for finding someone that is compatible. Not dedicating yourself to whoever comes first out of some sense of obligation.
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True dating is not a state of exclusivity, but don't go around dating those who will not be upfront about dating multiple people, and don't hide the fact if you are dating multiple people either. No one has the right to the details of what one does on a date with others. The only thing they have a right to know is if you are being sexually active with others and if so whether or not you are using protection.
 
Kelfuma said:
I have prayed to God for her every night ever since I first saw her 3 months ago. God told me that she was for me and that I should be patient. It's just painful the entire process.
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This might be part of the problem. Make sure you are continually questioning this. We humans are bad about substituting our desires for God's words. I am not saying He hasn't told you such, just make sure your series and subconscious are not saying what you want to hear.
 
Kelfuma said:
I have prayed to God for her every night ever since I first saw her 3 months ago. God told me that she was for me and that I should be patient. It's just painful the entire process.
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Be careful what you wish for....you just might end up getting it.


In my life, some of the best gifts were those I did not get.
 
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