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What would you do if a friend had told you they had cancer and they did not ...

I guess I viewed it the person had unresolved issues and they had just met me and were trying to compensate for challenges they had in a socially acceptable way.


Well I care for the person and close yet for many reasons i censor myself in interactions with this person. This event happened and others issues that I all never let my guard down yet I forgive and moved forward.
sounds like a healthy way to handle it to me

I give some people way more leeway than others

that leeway depends entirely upon how they treat others including me

I do not like lies, I do not trust liars but I also trust myself to choose who is worthy of a second or even a third chance
 
Well … what would you do if you met someone and became friends and they told you they had to file bankruptcy for cancer and had details of this experience including struggling to pay off these bills. What would you do it this information made a difference in how you interacted and even what you were willing to do for them as a friend?

You really like the person and yet you learn this after 6 years and it changes up almost everything they had told you of themselves and ten years of their life?

I would ditch that person if I was you.Either that person is a nutcase, con-artist or both.
 
Well … what would you do if you met someone and became friends and they told you they had to file bankruptcy for cancer and had details of this experience including struggling to pay off these bills. What would you do it this information made a difference in how you interacted and even what you were willing to do for them as a friend?

You really like the person and yet you learn this after 6 years and it changes up almost everything they had told you of themselves and ten years of their life?

I have a lot of friends/family that work in the medical field in a wide range of fields including one of the top ER nurses in the country, two physicians, 4-5 floor nurses, 3 janitors, two billing administrators and a couple of medical records techs. Across the board, they tell me the same thing: If you work with your care providers on your situation, they will usually write off the bill if you simply can't pay it. There are Fed. programs that reimburse care providers when they do this, so it's just a matter of getting the paperwork filed.

Why it would change how my relationship with them is beyond me. When I have friends, they are my friends because of who they are, not because of what they are going through.
 
I have a lot of friends/family that work in the medical field in a wide range of fields including one of the top ER nurses in the country, two physicians, 4-5 floor nurses, 3 janitors, two billing administrators and a couple of medical records techs. Across the board, they tell me the same thing: If you work with your care providers on your situation, they will usually write off the bill if you simply can't pay it. There are Fed. programs that reimburse care providers when they do this, so it's just a matter of getting the paperwork filed.

Why it would change how my relationship with them is beyond me. When I have friends, they are my friends because of who they are, not because of what they are going through.

the diagnosis was not true --- read the thread. Of course I stand behind friends regardless of what they are gong through.
 
I have a friend who is very promiscuous in a very unhealthy way that called me one day and told me she had just found out she had AIDS. It was very dark for several days and then she told me she didnt have it and that she was 'joking' and was just miserable and in the moment thought that it was 'funny'. We agreed it was very much not, I spanked her soundly, and she promised to never joke like that again.

I guess it would depend if the person telling you they had cancer was just attention whoring or of there other things going on.
 
Well … what would you do if you met someone and became friends and they told you they had to file bankruptcy for cancer and had details of this experience including struggling to pay off these bills. What would you do it this information made a difference in how you interacted and even what you were willing to do for them as a friend?

You really like the person and yet you learn this after 6 years and it changes up almost everything they had told you of themselves and ten years of their life?

Munchausen syndrome?
It's a very sad psychiatric disorder. I'm not saying this is what you're dealing with, but it is a thing.
 
Hey, it doesn't matter if it's cancer or something else. I have a cousin who wanted me to give her $10,000 because of her horrible medical expenses. I said, "You don't think the weekly visits to the casinos might be a factor?" Of course not. They just went to the casinos and stayed all weekend for the cheap meals.

How about the Rolling Stones magazine bogus rape report. Attention? You bet. The drama queen got sympathy, pity, and attention. That's what was wanted. So it was a lie. Who really cares?

A friend of mine was getting married and asked me for my opinion of his loved one. "Well, let's see, she's been married three times, never worked a day in her life, and is a religious fanatic. I think you should change your phone number, change your name, and run like hell."

"But, Pat, her husbands were abusive."
"Hey, Chuck, you'll be abusive ex-husband number four."
"I'm not abusive."
"You will be." I won. He married her and they divorced. She called the Crisis Hotline. "Has he hit you?" "No, but he looks like he might be thinking about it." "Good enough. We'll help you get a restraining order."

How many pregnant women swear they were on the pill and how many expectant fathers told the woman he didn't need a condom because he'd had a vasectomy? Get real.

So, your friend lied about being forced into bankruptcy by terminal cancer. At least he did better than a current presidential candidate who says bankruptcy is a great money maker. So now, if your friend calls and says, "I'll be late because the Chinese have invaded Vermont," take it with a grain of salt.

I live in Oaxaca, Mexico, and when I first moved here I met an American who was hated by almost all the other Americans. I thought he was okay but then I learned the horrible truth. When gringos moved here and told people their story, the son of a bitch checked. That's right. If you said you graduated from Yale, he'd write the alumni association. If you said you were a Navy Seal, he'd check that, too. Yes, he was hated.

But, I'm as down on honesty as I am on lying. We'll get to the horrors of honesty later.
 
Hey, it doesn't matter if it's cancer or something else. I have a cousin who wanted me to give her $10,000 because of her horrible medical expenses. I said, "You don't think the weekly visits to the casinos might be a factor?" Of course not. They just went to the casinos and stayed all weekend for the cheap meals.

How about the Rolling Stones magazine bogus rape report. Attention? You bet. The drama queen got sympathy, pity, and attention. That's what was wanted. So it was a lie. Who really cares?

A friend of mine was getting married and asked me for my opinion of his loved one. "Well, let's see, she's been married three times, never worked a day in her life, and is a religious fanatic. I think you should change your phone number, change your name, and run like hell."

"But, Pat, her husbands were abusive."
"Hey, Chuck, you'll be abusive ex-husband number four."
"I'm not abusive."
"You will be." I won. He married her and they divorced. She called the Crisis Hotline. "Has he hit you?" "No, but he looks like he might be thinking about it." "Good enough. We'll help you get a restraining order."

How many pregnant women swear they were on the pill and how many expectant fathers told the woman he didn't need a condom because he'd had a vasectomy? Get real.

So, your friend lied about being forced into bankruptcy by terminal cancer. At least he did better than a current presidential candidate who says bankruptcy is a great money maker. So now, if your friend calls and says, "I'll be late because the Chinese have invaded Vermont," take it with a grain of salt.

I live in Oaxaca, Mexico, and when I first moved here I met an American who was hated by almost all the other Americans. I thought he was okay but then I learned the horrible truth. When gringos moved here and told people their story, the son of a bitch checked. That's right. If you said you graduated from Yale, he'd write the alumni association. If you said you were a Navy Seal, he'd check that, too. Yes, he was hated.

But, I'm as down on honesty as I am on lying. We'll get to the horrors of honesty later.

Hey man, how is it going in Oaxaca? I hear stories about war zones down there. I am in Sinaloa and people tell me they are scared to come here. It is very quiet here and I have no fear at all going out and doing what I want to do.
 
Hey man, how is it going in Oaxaca? I hear stories about war zones down there. I am in Sinaloa and people tell me they are scared to come here. It is very quiet here and I have no fear at all going out and doing what I want to do.

I get emails from people asking if Oaxaca is safe. One was from a college student and his class was coming to Oaxaca on spring break and he wanted to know if it was safe. I wrote back, "My god, kid, you're living in Detroit. Get real."

Seriously. If you're not involved in drugs, not involved in politics, not involved with someone else's spouse, and don't enjoy getting falling down, passing out drunk in public, it's perfectly safe.

And do not believe anything you read from the U.S. media. Donald Trump is not a wonderfully successful businessman and Hillary Clinton is not supporter of women and children. Oaxaca is quite safe but as the union thugs disrupt traffic and screw up everybody's day in an attempt to win friends and support for the union. The teachers know it's not working but the union leaders and thugs aren't that bright.

The news media refers to the people killed at the roadblock of the federal highway outside Nochixtlán they say protesters, students, children. They don't say teachers because they probably weren't. They also don't say thugs because that's not politically correct.

We're doing fine and I enjoy living in Oaxaca.
 
I get emails from people asking if Oaxaca is safe. One was from a college student and his class was coming to Oaxaca on spring break and he wanted to know if it was safe. I wrote back, "My god, kid, you're living in Detroit. Get real."

Seriously. If you're not involved in drugs, not involved in politics, not involved with someone else's spouse, and don't enjoy getting falling down, passing out drunk in public, it's perfectly safe.

And do not believe anything you read from the U.S. media. Donald Trump is not a wonderfully successful businessman and Hillary Clinton is not supporter of women and children. Oaxaca is quite safe but as the union thugs disrupt traffic and screw up everybody's day in an attempt to win friends and support for the union. The teachers know it's not working but the union leaders and thugs aren't that bright.

The news media refers to the people killed at the roadblock of the federal highway outside Nochixtlán they say protesters, students, children. They don't say teachers because they probably weren't. They also don't say thugs because that's not politically correct.

We're doing fine and I enjoy living in Oaxaca.

You have no spill over problems from Guatemala?
 
I get emails from people asking if Oaxaca is safe. One was from a college student and his class was coming to Oaxaca on spring break and he wanted to know if it was safe. I wrote back, "My god, kid, you're living in Detroit. Get real."

Seriously. If you're not involved in drugs, not involved in politics, not involved with someone else's spouse, and don't enjoy getting falling down, passing out drunk in public, it's perfectly safe.

And do not believe anything you read from the U.S. media. Donald Trump is not a wonderfully successful businessman and Hillary Clinton is not supporter of women and children. Oaxaca is quite safe but as the union thugs disrupt traffic and screw up everybody's day in an attempt to win friends and support for the union. The teachers know it's not working but the union leaders and thugs aren't that bright.

The news media refers to the people killed at the roadblock of the federal highway outside Nochixtlán they say protesters, students, children. They don't say teachers because they probably weren't. They also don't say thugs because that's not politically correct.

We're doing fine and I enjoy living in Oaxaca.
Nice post. I liked it.

Anyway, to the point in red, and as a general topic: Inconveniencing me and making me late... pissing me off, really... is NOT a way to win my heart or my mind to a cause. Just sayin'.
 
Nice post. I liked it.

Anyway, to the point in red, and as a general topic: Inconveniencing me and making me late... pissing me off, really... is NOT a way to win my heart or my mind to a cause. Just sayin'.

That seems to be a popular theme here in Mexico.

If the bus drivers are upset about something they block downtown with their buses and the police do nothing.

I would like them to arrest all the drivers and take the buses to the impound lot, but the, what will I call it, balls do not exist to do that.
 
That seems to be a popular theme here in Mexico.

If the bus drivers are upset about something they block downtown with their buses and the police do nothing.

I would like them to arrest all the drivers and take the buses to the impound lot, but the, what will I call it, balls do not exist to do that.

The government in Oaxaca is as tight with the teachers' union as the teachers' unions and the government in the U.S.
 
Well … what would you do if you met someone and became friends and they told you they had to file bankruptcy for cancer and had details of this experience including struggling to pay off these bills. What would you do it this information made a difference in how you interacted and even what you were willing to do for them as a friend?

You really like the person and yet you learn this after 6 years and it changes up almost everything they had told you of themselves and ten years of their life?

Your scenario is confusing but if they lied about having cancer, or anthing that big, I would not be their friend any longer...
 
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