Heh. My stepdad was a cop too. And he had (and still has) the "old school" mentality to some extent, Italian Catholic that he is. And he and my mom gave me my share of spankings (with paddles and belts, hands being too delicate), soap insertions, and "traditional" punishment with a strictly hierarchical relationship. That lasted until the day I was taller and heavier than him and slammed him into the wall opposite my bedroom door when he tried to **** with me again, after which he never tried to "discipline" me again. The mark is still there.
I suppose boys will be boys, and girls are different, after all, even if this one ain't exactly sugar and spice. And I suppose that she'll never be able to get the power that I got as a result of her unchosen sex. And even if she's able to eventually overpower her mother, it'll mean nothing if she brings some man into the picture to beat her down for her. But honestly, now...that's the kind of mentality more prevalent in fundamentalist Muslim states and such than an advanced Western country, which is why the good ole' U S of A sticks out like a sore thumb compared to the other Western democracies when it comes to our attitudes on this.
Sigh.
I'll try once more. Apparently if I don't write a book people think I advocate abuse.
Children raised in a balanced environment of love, involvement, relationship and discipline tend to thrive, and grow up to be productive and law-abiding citizens.
Children raised in a home with love and indulgence and no discipline tend to grow up to be brats at best; frequently criminals; sometimes sheer horrors.
Applying a belt to a child's buttocks will not kill or maim the child, if done correctly. Discipline should always be applied with consistency and dispassion: if you are angry, do not discipline your child until you are calm. Spankings should generally be reserved for relatively serious matters like safety issues or open defiance. Lesser misbehavior should preferably be handled with lesser discipline.
Children under 5 are not easily reasoned with, and talk-talk-talk does not often make much of an impression. Pain does. Where the issue in question is sufficiently serious, like safety or willful defiance, the pain of a spanking will make the connection and alter the behavior like nothing else will.
If you do it right before they are 5, you will rarely need to spank them after they are 6-8 yrs old in most cases, because you will have internalized certain things to their minds in a way that will stick with them, namely: respect authority; being bad brings pain.
I raised a child by this method who is now a teen. He loves and respects me, his manners and behavior are regularly praised by teachers and strangers, he is happy and well-adjusted. I have had no need to lay a finger on him in years, because I "did it right" when he was small.
BTW, he is also bigger than me now... and he still isn't intrested in starting anything serious with Daddy. :mrgreen:
I've seen the pathetic results of the "modern enlightened parenting methods", and I'll stick with my own methods, thank you very much.
The girl in this story is 10 years old. To be frank, it may well be too late to correct her behavior with the proper combination of love and discipline to turn her into a model child. If you don't start by 5, you have a lot more trouble making the correction. Still, if her mother applied my formula consistently and starting immediately, she
might have a
chance of raising a child whose life won't be a total tragedy and waste.
G.