No, gay marriage is about changing the definition of marriage. It wasn't always that way, but for some decades now, at least until a few courts/legislatures started dickering with them, the marriage laws in every state were 100% equal for everybody. Every American, gay, straight, of whatever race, religion, culture, ethnicity, age, etc. was subject to exactly the same rules and regulation as every other American in every state in the union. THAT is what equality looks like. And, until some courts and some governments started dickering with it, the definition of marriage in every culture in every place on Earth for many millenia now has been a recognized legal union between a man and a woman.
If gays pushing to change the marriage laws were interested only in equality, then they would have gotten squarely behind those of us who have been pushing for a new institution called civil union or whatever that would provide protections and benefits to ALL Americans, gay, straight, etc. who for whatever reason cannot or do not wish to marry under existing laws. And that also would be what equality would look like.
