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Nine-Year-Old Boy Asks Buttigieg Advice on Coming Out as Gay

roguenuke said:
I dont find it hard to believe that a 9 year old may very well know they are gay. Children start mimicking relationships as young as 5, finding others attractive even at those young ages, without any thoughts about sex at all. It is adults who link sexuality to sexual activity. My son had a girl friend in 2nd/3rd grade. I had a boyfriend in 1st grade and crushes on two boys in 4th grade (8/9 years old).
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And I knew a guy who was girl crazy in elementary school. He had a girlfriend for a couple of years and even got in big trouble and was suspended for touching her inappropriately under the parachute in gym class.

Like you, he "knew" he was heterosexual at a very early age. He is now married to a man.

There is know way to know if a 9 year old child "knows" he's gay - and certainly no way for his parents to "know" that he "knows". That's way too strong of a word.
 
Taylor said:
And I knew a guy who was girl crazy in elementary school. He had a girlfriend for a couple of years and even got in big trouble and was suspended for touching her inappropriately under the parachute in gym class.

Like you, he "knew" he was heterosexual at a very early age. He is now married to a man.

There is know way to know if a 9 year old child "knows" he's gay - and certainly no way for his parents to "know" that he "knows". That's way too strong of a word.
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He could be bisexual.

Sent from my SM-N970U using Tapatalk
 
Diesel said:
What do you think was sexual about Buttigieg's response to the boy? Simply saying the word gay around a nine year old shouldn't offend anyone. By that age, two of my youngest uncles were already taking me places on weekends to "cruise for chicks". I'm not damaged by it nor do I think it was any better or worse than a boy asking a question and a candidate responding to it. I find that telling a child, "You're too young," to do just about anything usually blows up in the face of the person who says it, but I respect your position on this, even though I disagree with it.
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roguenuke said:
Most agree that it is good to start having age appropriate sex talks before puberty, so before a kid is even 8 years old. My mom started at 8 for me, and they continued from there. Most kids by 8 or 9 have an idea about sex even if they dont know exactly what it is. And most see others as attractive by then.

Sent from my SM-N970U using Tapatalk
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"Sex talks", as in satisfying a nine year old child's curiosity but not forming their opinion or encouraging them, is fine. It my even be encouraged, though I'm not sure of that.

My problem with Buttigieg was his seemingly congratulating the kid's decision, and encouraging him into a gay lifestyle/orientation. I simply do not believe a nine year old is fully formed enough to make that decision. Their sexuality is still in flux, indeed their entire being is in flux. Until they are old enough to experience their sexuality, and much more to understand it in a proper mature context, I do not believe the kid's homosexual expression should have been taken as finite & definite.

There's reason why the law around the world generally sets the age of sexual consent anywhere from 16-18, or more. Until that age, kids are not thought to have full understanding of their sexuality or it's ramifications. It's for this reason I do not believe young underage kids should be able to legally declare a changed sexual identity, and it's for this reason I do not think Buttigieg should have accepted the nine year old's expression of homosexual identity as definitive.

I will predicate the above, though: I'm not gay, so I cannot speak from a gay man's perspective. But I can speak from a general perspective on sexuality, and again I believe nine-year olds are too young to have adequately formed sexual identities, and indeed at that age are probably too easily influenced by others to know what they really want or feel.

(I haven't even touched on Buttigieg's failure to offer some words on cautioning the child to not act on his impulses at that young age)
 
CriticalThought said:
I am gay and I was in my twenties before I had that figured out. I even dated girls in college.
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You find it disturbing? I would think you might find it odd...but disturbing?

You weren't always attracted to men? I find that strange.

I was aware I was aware of the fact that I liked women at age 5, and have numerous, distinct memories of such crushes, but I also didn't really *date* until senior year in high school.

I am genuinely surprised to imagine you didn't know you were attracted to men until your twenties. But I wouldn't say "disturbing". Strange argument to be making IMO.
 
CriticalThought said:
Bloomberg - Are you a robot?



Am I wrong to find this disturbing? I am gay and I was in my twenties before I had that figured out. I even dated girls in college. How is it a prepubescent child would have any notion of their sexual orientation? Most kids this age are more interested in Roblox and Fortnite than sexual preferences. I know this was probably just a political stunt but it seems creepy to me. It certainly won't help with the classic image that gays are all secret pedophiles who want to lower the age of consent so they can molest young boys.
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I agree, it is creepy and it suggests that the propaganda aimed at children has taken root, the "demand" that they decide they are gay, straight, non-binary, bi-sexual, or transsexual at nine years of age is insane.

Before puberty I had no interest in girls. Girls were "yuck" and I recall telling my parents that I'd never marry. However, at 11 or 12 all that changed, suddenly girls and fantasies over them hit me like a semi-truck...hell yes I'm into girls.

Are we to suppose that a normal nine year old that thinks girls are "yuck" and who only hangs with boys is supposed to look at himself as "gay"? How does a child "know" he is "different" or "gay" when he has zero sexual attraction at that age? OR perhaps, as implied, are we to assume that "gay" children are sexually active early in life OR already active with other children or adults?

Frankly, any kid that tells me he is "gay" before 11 years of age is a kid that needs counseling, or his parents investigated for abuse, or told to change his reading habits.
 
Chomsky said:
"Sex talks", as in satisfying a nine year old child's curiosity but not forming their opinion or encouraging them, is fine. It my even be encouraged, though I'm not sure of that.

My problem with Buttigieg was his seemingly congratulating the kid's decision, and encouraging him into a gay lifestyle/orientation. I simply do not believe a nine year old is fully formed enough to make that decision. Their sexuality is still in flux, indeed their entire being is in flux. Until they are old enough to experience their sexuality, and much more to understand it in a proper mature context, I do not believe the kid's homosexual expression should have been taken as finite & definite.

There's reason why the law around the world generally sets the age of sexual consent anywhere from 16-18, or more. Until that age, kids are not thought to have full understanding of their sexuality or it's ramifications. It's for this reason I do not believe young underage kids should be able to legally declare a changed sexual identity, and it's for this reason I do not think Buttigieg should have accepted the nine year old's expression of homosexual identity as definitive.

I will predicate the above, though: I'm not gay, so I cannot speak from a gay man's perspective. But I can speak from a general perspective on sexuality, and again I believe nine-year olds are too young to have adequately formed sexual identities, and indeed at that age are probably too easily influenced by others to know what they really want or feel.

(I haven't even touched on Buttigieg's failure to offer some words on cautioning the child to not act on his impulses at that young age)
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He did not decide to be gay or enter into any lifestyle. He decided to share his feelings and attractions for the same sex, for boys.

Sent from my SM-N970U using Tapatalk
 
CriticalThought said:
Bloomberg - Are you a robot?



Am I wrong to find this disturbing? I am gay and I was in my twenties before I had that figured out. I even dated girls in college. How is it a prepubescent child would have any notion of their sexual orientation? Most kids this age are more interested in Roblox and Fortnite than sexual preferences. I know this was probably just a political stunt but it seems creepy to me. It certainly won't help with the classic image that gays are all secret pedophiles who want to lower the age of consent so they can molest young boys.
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I don't find the child's awareness of their preferences odd.

I do find that he choose to publicly ask a political figure who is desperately looking for a boost right before the largest primary event a little convenient.
 
CriticalThought said:
Bloomberg - Are you a robot?



Am I wrong to find this disturbing? I am gay and I was in my twenties before I had that figured out. I even dated girls in college. How is it a prepubescent child would have any notion of their sexual orientation? Most kids this age are more interested in Roblox and Fortnite than sexual preferences. I know this was probably just a political stunt but it seems creepy to me. It certainly won't help with the classic image that gays are all secret pedophiles who want to lower the age of consent so they can molest young boys.
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They grow up so fast these days. :roll:
 
Chomsky said:
"Sex talks", as in satisfying a nine year old child's curiosity but not forming their opinion or encouraging them, is fine. It my even be encouraged, though I'm not sure of that.

My problem with Buttigieg was his seemingly congratulating the kid's decision, and encouraging him into a gay lifestyle/orientation. I simply do not believe a nine year old is fully formed enough to make that decision. Their sexuality is still in flux, indeed their entire being is in flux. Until they are old enough to experience their sexuality, and much more to understand it in a proper mature context, I do not believe the kid's homosexual expression should have been taken as finite & definite.

There's reason why the law around the world generally sets the age of sexual consent anywhere from 16-18, or more. Until that age, kids are not thought to have full understanding of their sexuality or it's ramifications. It's for this reason I do not believe young underage kids should be able to legally declare a changed sexual identity, and it's for this reason I do not think Buttigieg should have accepted the nine year old's expression of homosexual identity as definitive.

I will predicate the above, though: I'm not gay, so I cannot speak from a gay man's perspective. But I can speak from a general perspective on sexuality, and again I believe nine-year olds are too young to have adequately formed sexual identities, and indeed at that age are probably too easily influenced by others to know what they really want or feel.

(I haven't even touched on Buttigieg's failure to offer some words on cautioning the child to not act on his impulses at that young age)
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I get what you're saying, but it really rubs against my grain. What is a "changed sexual identity"? Changed from what? Are we to assume that everyone is heterosexual until they come out? Who are we to determine the parameters wherein other people come out?

I think what I'm resisting here is a hesitation to address non-heterosexual identities that indicates a latent homophobia. I'm not saying that you're homophobic. If I had to guess, I would guess that you are not. The impulse, however, to stifle the expression of homosexuality until some undetermined, later age is destructive to the emotional development of children who aren't straight. We all know fully well that little girls and little boys hold hands, peck each other, chase each other around playgrounds, pass each other flirty notes, and even practice girlfriend/boyfriend relationships. They're encouraged to give each other valentine cards and gifts and learn the socially acceptable rules about physical contact and romantic communication. The structure for girls is typically vastly different than the structure for boys, but I think what you're describing is a sort of double standard for young people who think, feel, or know that they are not straight.
 
Diesel said:
I get what you're saying, but it really rubs against my grain. What is a "changed sexual identity"? Changed from what? Are we to assume that everyone is heterosexual until they come out? Who are we to determine the parameters wherein other people come out?

I think what I'm resisting here is a hesitation to address non-heterosexual identities that indicates a latent homophobia. I'm not saying that you're homophobic. If I had to guess, I would guess that you are not. The impulse, however, to stifle the expression of homosexuality until some undetermined, later age is destructive to the emotional development of children who aren't straight. We all know fully well that little girls and little boys hold hands, peck each other, chase each other around playgrounds, pass each other flirty notes, and even practice girlfriend/boyfriend relationships. They're encouraged to give each other valentine cards and gifts and learn the socially acceptable rules about physical contact and romantic communication. The structure for girls is typically vastly different than the structure for boys, but I think what you're describing is a sort of double standard for young people who think, feel, or know that they are not straight.
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Well said.

I liked girls at age 5. Had crushes on girls in class, even a substitute teacher. I also wasn't sexually active until high school senior year. Knowing at age 5..or 9, that I liked girls, how would that be sexual advice?

I agree its more likely about stifling such discussions out of embarrassment, confusion, avoidance, public/social fears, etc. And I get it. But I damn sure knew I liked girls at 5...and if someone were to have told me "you're too young to know that", that would be haven nuts.
 
Chomsky said:
"Sex talks", as in satisfying a nine year old child's curiosity but not forming their opinion or encouraging them, is fine. It my even be encouraged, though I'm not sure of that.

My problem with Buttigieg was his seemingly congratulating the kid's decision, and encouraging him into a gay lifestyle/orientation. I simply do not believe a nine year old is fully formed enough to make that decision. Their sexuality is still in flux, indeed their entire being is in flux. Until they are old enough to experience their sexuality, and much more to understand it in a proper mature context, I do not believe the kid's homosexual expression should have been taken as finite & definite.

There's reason why the law around the world generally sets the age of sexual consent anywhere from 16-18, or more. Until that age, kids are not thought to have full understanding of their sexuality or it's ramifications. It's for this reason I do not believe young underage kids should be able to legally declare a changed sexual identity, and it's for this reason I do not think Buttigieg should have accepted the nine year old's expression of homosexual identity as definitive.

I will predicate the above, though: I'm not gay, so I cannot speak from a gay man's perspective. But I can speak from a general perspective on sexuality, and again I believe nine-year olds are too young to have adequately formed sexual identities, and indeed at that age are probably too easily influenced by others to know what they really want or feel.

(I haven't even touched on Buttigieg's failure to offer some words on cautioning the child to not act on his impulses at that young age)
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Share with us what you believe Pete should have said
 
My ten year old boy thinks girls are icky.. Maybe I should have him talk to Pete.. Yeah, hell to the no on that one. What parents in their right mind would do such a thing as to subject their child and themselves to public scrutiny like this. I have no use for parents that inject and subject their kids for political gain, none!

Tim-
 
CriticalThought said:
Bloomberg - Are you a robot?



Am I wrong to find this disturbing? I am gay and I was in my twenties before I had that figured out. I even dated girls in college. How is it a prepubescent child would have any notion of their sexual orientation? Most kids this age are more interested in Roblox and Fortnite than sexual preferences. I know this was probably just a political stunt but it seems creepy to me. It certainly won't help with the classic image that gays are all secret pedophiles who want to lower the age of consent so they can molest young boys.
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I don't know the whole story. What were the parents part in all this? Did they ask for this to happen? I just need to know more.
 
Chomsky said:
There's reason why the law around the world generally sets the age of sexual consent anywhere from 16-18, or more. Until that age, kids are not thought to have full understanding of their sexuality or it's ramifications. It's for this reason I do not believe young underage kids should be able to legally declare a changed sexual identity, and it's for this reason I do not think Buttigieg should have accepted the nine year old's expression of homosexual identity as definitive.

I will predicate the above, though: I'm not gay, so I cannot speak from a gay man's perspective. But I can speak from a general perspective on sexuality, and again I believe nine-year olds are too young to have adequately formed sexual identities, and indeed at that age are probably too easily influenced by others to know what they really want or feel.

(I haven't even touched on Buttigieg's failure to offer some words on cautioning the child to not act on his impulses at that young age)
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......What are you talking about?

"Legally declared sexually identity"? You do realize that people don't just change from straight to gay/bi/etc.? I didn't change from being straight to gay: I never was straight. That's kinda the whole point.
 
Diesel said:
I get what you're saying, but it really rubs against my grain. What is a "changed sexual identity"? Changed from what? Are we to assume that everyone is heterosexual until they come out? Who are we to determine the parameters wherein other people come out?

I think what I'm resisting here is a hesitation to address non-heterosexual identities that indicates a latent homophobia. I'm not saying that you're homophobic. If I had to guess, I would guess that you are not. The impulse, however, to stifle the expression of homosexuality until some undetermined, later age is destructive to the emotional development of children who aren't straight. We all know fully well that little girls and little boys hold hands, peck each other, chase each other around playgrounds, pass each other flirty notes, and even practice girlfriend/boyfriend relationships. They're encouraged to give each other valentine cards and gifts and learn the socially acceptable rules about physical contact and romantic communication. The structure for girls is typically vastly different than the structure for boys, but I think what you're describing is a sort of double standard for young people who think, feel, or know that they are not straight.
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Yeah, I don't think Chomsky is homophobic, I just think that he, as per what he's said here, is woefully misinformed, and playing upon the way that old societal norms. I have a lot of respect for him, so I'm actually surprised that his take here is this bad.
 
Chomsky said:
My problem with Buttigieg was his seemingly congratulating the kid's decision, and encouraging him into a gay lifestyle/orientation. I simply do not believe a nine year old is fully formed enough to make that decision. Their sexuality is still in flux, indeed their entire being is in flux. Until they are old enough to experience their sexuality, and much more to understand it in a proper mature context, I do not believe the kid's homosexual expression should have been taken as finite & definite.

(I haven't even touched on Buttigieg's failure to offer some words on cautioning the child to not act on his impulses at that young age)
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I had to watch the video again before responding to your post, because I thought that Buttigieg handled the question as well as he possibly could. I'm sure he was surprised at getting hit with something like that, and he did well.

I disagree that Buttigieg was congratulating the kid or encouraging him into a gay lifestyle. All he did was support the boy, tell him he was brave and would do okay in life in accepting who he was. The kid obviously didn't go there himself, and apparently had parents who had already spoken to him about his feelings and approved that he put the question into the 'hat' with the other attendees, and just was the one whose question was picked. 9-year-old Colorado boy who asked for advice on coming out as gay from Pete Buttigieg: I’m “proud” – The Colorado Sun

Seriously, who was Buttigieg, in that public moment to start analyzing, lecturing or warning the boy that he might be too young to know he had personal feelings of being gay. That discussion should be in private with his parents or a counselor.

Imagine if Buttigieg cautioned the boy not to act on his impulses because of his age, that would be outrageous. Do you think the boy was going to go out that day and start physically experimenting with other kids because Pete gave him the nod?

I'm no expert, but listening to what was said and knowing the back story of the boy and his question, I give kudos to Pete for his supportive answer. He wasn't pushing the boy either way, he was just supportive and treated the kid as gently and kindly as possible, can't ask for more than that IMO.

 
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CriticalThought said:
Bloomberg - Are you a robot?



Am I wrong to find this disturbing? I am gay and I was in my twenties before I had that figured out. I even dated girls in college. How is it a prepubescent child would have any notion of their sexual orientation? Most kids this age are more interested in Roblox and Fortnite than sexual preferences. I know this was probably just a political stunt but it seems creepy to me. It certainly won't help with the classic image that gays are all secret pedophiles who want to lower the age of consent so they can molest young boys.
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The child is being used as a pawn in an adults game. Butt should have segued into "My medial plan has family counseling"... and dropped the subject.
 
chuckiechan said:
The child is being used as a pawn in an adults game. Butt should have segued into "My medial plan has family counseling"... and dropped the subject.
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I'm sorry the mean liberals victimized you by plotting with Obama and Teh Gayz to trick a nine year old into asking someone he looks up to about coming out. That must have been very traumatic for you.





_______
Is there a "spit on the ground" emoji, preferably involving a disgustingly large loogie?
 
Mr Person said:
I'm sorry the mean liberals victimized you by plotting with Obama and Teh Gayz to trick a nine year old into asking someone he looks up to about coming out. That must have been very traumatic for you.




_______
Is there a "spit on the ground" emoji, preferably involving a disgustingly large loogie?
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No, the only thing traumatic was my misspelling of “medical”.
 
chuckiechan said:
The child is being used as a pawn in an adults game. Butt should have segued into "My medial plan has family counseling"... and dropped the subject.
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i missed your objections to the use of children as political props in the recent state of the union, where we had the grandson of a tuckaseegee airman recognized, a philly lass given a scholarship away from a prominent philly school, and little kids who were denied the opportunity to see their dad's arrival from overseas until the timing met the president's needs
 
justabubba said:
i missed your objections to the use of children as political props in the recent state of the union, where we had the grandson of a tuckaseegee airman recognized, a philly lass given a scholarship away from a prominent philly school, and little kids who were denied the opportunity to see their dad's arrival from overseas until the timing met the president's needs
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TDS level false equivalency. Christ on a cracker. :roll:
 
CriticalThought said:
Bloomberg - Are you a robot?



Am I wrong to find this disturbing? I am gay and I was in my twenties before I had that figured out. I even dated girls in college. How is it a prepubescent child would have any notion of their sexual orientation? Most kids this age are more interested in Roblox and Fortnite than sexual preferences. I know this was probably just a political stunt but it seems creepy to me. It certainly won't help with the classic image that gays are all secret pedophiles who want to lower the age of consent so they can molest young boys.
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Given the amount of times that I've seen my colleague deal with this through the last three years. I'd say that this child is most likely, not actually gay.

They've either been impressed upon about it by one, or both parents, or he was instructed to ask this question by the very same people.

This wouldn't be the first time I've seen a child brought out and used for the purposes of making a political message by anyone, be them on the left, or right.
 
justabubba said:
i missed your objections to the use of children as political props in the recent state of the union, where we had the grandson of a tuckaseegee airman recognized, a philly lass given a scholarship away from a prominent philly school, and little kids who were denied the opportunity to see their dad's arrival from overseas until the timing met the president's needs
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Maybe there were no objections because the children involved had no connection to being gay, homosexuality is a trigger of fear and hate in some individuals, mainly Trump cultists....weak, hateful and fearful lot.
 
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