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Man accused of humping driveway

danarhea

danarhea

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HOUSTON - A man has been arrested and accused of humping a driveway.
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Was this man looking for piece on earth? Whether he was or not, he picked the wrong day to be doing this, since we all know that hump day is Wednesday, not Tuesday. LOL.

Article is here.
 
danarhea said:
Was this man looking for piece on earth? Whether he was or not, he picked the wrong day to be doing this, since we all know that hump day is Wednesday, not Tuesday. LOL.

Article is here.
Click to expand...

I don't want to live in a world where you can't hump a driveway.
 
danarhea said:
Was this man looking for piece on earth? Whether he was or not, he picked the wrong day to be doing this, since we all know that hump day is Wednesday, not Tuesday. LOL.

Article is here.
Click to expand...

Someone said **** Texas. He just took it too literally.
 
It's been rather warm out lately, I am guessing he thought the driveway looked "hot":mrgreen:
 
:shock: I guess they had concrete evidence of this.
 
Man Caught Having ‘Sexy Time’ With Area Pumpkins
October 31st, 2012 | by Bill Burns
West Fargo, ND – Pumpkins missing from your front door step? West Fargo Police finally have an answer for you.

Early this morning, a West Fargo man was arrested for having sexy time with pumpkins all over the West Fargo area. One neighbor was walking to shut the front light off when he spotted a man in dark clothing erratically humping away at his defenseless smurf carved pumpkin. Once spotted, the man ran away taking the pumpkin with him.

Another incident 2 hours later, Ted was walking out to his car to lock it when he caught the pumpkin humper with his pants down and a small pumpkin hanging from his genitals. Again, the man ran away, pumpkin and all.

The last witnessed incident was the pumpkin humpers embarrassing downfall which did him in. Becky was watching a movie late last night when she heard some rustling on her front door step. She went down to investigate and opened her front door. There lay the pumpkin humper sprawled out on her front door step, completely passed out, pants down, pumpkin seeds everwhere. Scattered around him were five of Becky’s pumpkins, broken and bruised. Who knows the torture they had to endure.

Police say the pumpkin humper is in their custody and it is once again safe for everyone to put their pumpkins out on their front door step, just in time for Halloween.

People.............
 
Ohio Man Arrested Again For Having Sex With Inflatable Raft

Police arrested Edwin Tobergta, 34, last month in Hamilton Ohio, after a child claimed that he saw him “having sexual relations with a rubber pool float.”
The incident occurred in broad daylight around lunchtime. The police report states that Tobergta was naked but doesn’t specify if the raft was in the water or on land.
This is the fifth time that Tobergta has been arrested for having sexual relations with an inflatable raft, so it’s not likely that he mistook it for a blow-up doll!
On Wednesday, a grand jury indicted him for public indecency. Whilst, in general, this is regarded as a minor felony, Tobergta’s history of multiple similar offenses will count against him.
Almost certainly, if found guilty, he will serve some jail time, maybe a year.
In August 2011, police were called when a man spotted Tobergta stealing his pool raft. The police report said:
“The witness stated the defendant appeared to be having sex with the raft due to the fact that his pants were down around his ankles.”
Tobergta’s grandmother, Linda, explained that her grandson suffered from Attention Deficiency Disorder and did not stick to his medication regime. She said:
“He has a lot of mental problems and he’s always had a fascination for plastic. That’s just it. That’s all of it. We never could get the proper care for Edwin. It’s like nobody cares.”
And it’s true that Edwin Tobergta’s problems started when he was much younger. In 2002, he was caught having sex with an inflatable pumpkin on Halloween.
But the headline: “Ohio Man Arrested For Having Sex With An Inflatable Raft” is probably more attention getting than sex with a vegetable.
Read more at Ohio Man Arrested Again For Having Sex With Inflatable Raft

After the third time I think they are actually considered common law married in some states...
 
VanceMack said:
Ohio Man Arrested Again For Having Sex With Inflatable Raft

Police arrested Edwin Tobergta, 34, last month in Hamilton Ohio, after a child claimed that he saw him “having sexual relations with a rubber pool float.”
The incident occurred in broad daylight around lunchtime. The police report states that Tobergta was naked but doesn’t specify if the raft was in the water or on land.
This is the fifth time that Tobergta has been arrested for having sexual relations with an inflatable raft, so it’s not likely that he mistook it for a blow-up doll!
On Wednesday, a grand jury indicted him for public indecency. Whilst, in general, this is regarded as a minor felony, Tobergta’s history of multiple similar offenses will count against him.
Almost certainly, if found guilty, he will serve some jail time, maybe a year.
In August 2011, police were called when a man spotted Tobergta stealing his pool raft. The police report said:
“The witness stated the defendant appeared to be having sex with the raft due to the fact that his pants were down around his ankles.”
Tobergta’s grandmother, Linda, explained that her grandson suffered from Attention Deficiency Disorder and did not stick to his medication regime. She said:
“He has a lot of mental problems and he’s always had a fascination for plastic. That’s just it. That’s all of it. We never could get the proper care for Edwin. It’s like nobody cares.”
And it’s true that Edwin Tobergta’s problems started when he was much younger. In 2002, he was caught having sex with an inflatable pumpkin on Halloween.
But the headline: “Ohio Man Arrested For Having Sex With An Inflatable Raft” is probably more attention getting than sex with a vegetable.
Read more at Ohio Man Arrested Again For Having Sex With Inflatable Raft

After the third time I think they are actually considered common law married in some states...
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I can't wait to show an Ohioan friend of mine this link!
 
Jesse Booth said:
I can't wait to show an Ohioan friend of mine this link!
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Be careful man. Once you start opening that door...

Bernard Archer Allegedly Caught On Camera Raping Neighbor's Dogs
The Huffington Post | By Andy Campbell
A Georgia teen was slapped with bestiality charges after he allegedly had sex with two of his neighbors dogs.
Bernard Archer, 19, was supposed to be caring for several of his neighbor's pit bulls on Saturday. But on his first day at work, a security camera allegedly caught him sexually abusing two of them, CBS Atlanta reported.
Archer's neighbor, Dr. Cathryn Lafayette, says he thought he was helping his neighbor get a degree.
"Our agreement was if I pay the tuition [for his GED] then he would pay half by working here at my home or whatever I had for him to do," Lafayette told the station.
Lafayette awoke to police knocking at her door. Officers were dispatched when neighbors witnessed the alleged abuse on their camera, according to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution.
 
Either way he must like it rough. Bada Bing!
 
Ocean, my last reply was to you. Sorry, I am new and still catching on to posting here. :)
 
I hope he was "rock hard", else, that's gonna be one unsatisfied driveway.
 
VanceMack said:
Be careful man. Once you start opening that door...

Bernard Archer Allegedly Caught On Camera Raping Neighbor's Dogs
The Huffington Post | By Andy Campbell
A Georgia teen was slapped with bestiality charges after he allegedly had sex with two of his neighbors dogs.
Bernard Archer, 19, was supposed to be caring for several of his neighbor's pit bulls on Saturday. But on his first day at work, a security camera allegedly caught him sexually abusing two of them, CBS Atlanta reported.
Archer's neighbor, Dr. Cathryn Lafayette, says he thought he was helping his neighbor get a degree.
"Our agreement was if I pay the tuition [for his GED] then he would pay half by working here at my home or whatever I had for him to do," Lafayette told the station.
Lafayette awoke to police knocking at her door. Officers were dispatched when neighbors witnessed the alleged abuse on their camera, according to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution.
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Ah, so the planted evidence work-I mean how disgusting! I had nothing to do with any of that!
 
Maybe he was just jack hammering his driveway?
 
I'm a cement mason and I've humped a lot of concrete and laid a lot of of driveways over the years, but I've never been arrested for it. :shrug:

So what's the BFD?
 
Top Cat said:
Someone said **** Texas. He just took it too literally.
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when i was in the Army stationed at Ft. Hood our plantoon sergeant would tell us to "make love to Texas" when he made us do push ups
 
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