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California Supreme Court Upholds Proposition 8

My question regarding divorce relates to how the divorce rate is used by pro-gm to show that heteros don't really care about things like 'the sanctity of marriage'.

Alright, first of all, when people get divorced, and the rates are known to have increased, does that show a respect for the sanctity of marriage?
 
You gave the impression that he was honoring his vows.

No, dear. You assumed. You know what they say about assuming, right?

I'm able to joke about it, now. But back in those days, it was not particularly funny.
 
He offered the toast.

He offered the toast to ten more years OF THE SAME. I'm not much of a cryer. So, the fact that I burst into tears at the idea is saying something serious, no matter my joking tone.
 
Alright, first of all, when people get divorced, and the rates are known to have increased, does that show a respect for the sanctity of marriage?

My point was that it's not a 'sanctity of marriage' issue at all.

It's a "women aren't happy with marriage" issue.
 
He offered the toast to ten more years OF THE SAME. I'm not much of a cryer. So, the fact that I burst into tears at the idea is saying something serious, no matter my joking tone.

Do you know why he suddenly changed when he married you?
 
He offered the toast to ten more years OF THE SAME. I'm not much of a cryer. So, the fact that I burst into tears at the idea is saying something serious, no matter my joking tone.

I went to the kiddos kindergarten graduation last night the X was there with his girlfriend and mother. Guess who wrote the full check for next years tuition for next years private school? I give you a clue...it was not the X.

Lazer beams were coming out of my eyes. Oh yeah his child support payments that he use to try pay in quarters covers about 2 weeks of the food bill.
 
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I went to the kiddos kindergarten graduation last night the X was there with his girlfriend and mother. Guess who wrote the full check for next years tuition for next years private school? I give you a clue...it was not the X.

Lazer beams were coming out of my eyes. Oh yeah his child support payments that he use to try pay in quarters covers about 2 weeks of the food bill.

  1. Why does someone with a man's name and a male avatar speak as though they're a woman?
  2. If the child support isn't enough, take him back to court.
 
Do you know why he suddenly changed when he married you?

I don't believe that he changed. I believe that he was cheating on me from year 1, and I was too naive and trusting to see it.

In hindsight, the best thing I could have done was to have dated him for 2-3 years to see how he lived. But, I was hopeful, and he was a church deacon, and I thought that we were in love.

This life experience sums up why, even though my boyfriend is seriously, the greatest guy on earth, after only 1.5 years of dating him, it will be a good long while before I'd even be willing to contemplate the M word.

I never wanted to get divorced, but on the other hand, I'm not sure it was a positive for my kids to watch their dad constantly disrespect and cheat on their mom. That would tend to give kids a warped view of marriage, i think.
 
I went to the kiddos kindergarten graduation last night the X was there with his girlfriend and mother. Guess who wrote the full check for next years tuition for next years private school? I give you a clue...it was not the X.

It should have been a dead tip-off to me that my ex was living with his mother (at age 34) when we met.

But, having said that, I don't rely on him to take care of my kids. I don't expect him to do so, and thus, I am rarely disappointed. I just plan at all times to take care of them, financially and otherwise.
 
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It's a "women aren't happy with marriage" issue.

Um, wow? Are you speaking to a personal experience here? Because, in my experience, marriages fail just as often from the male side as the female side.
 
  1. Why does someone with a man's name and a male avatar speak as though they're a woman?


  1. Because you have preconceived notions of stereotypes.

    [*]If the child support isn't enough, take him back to court.

There is a plan :cool:
 
I don't believe that he changed. I believe that he was cheating on me from year 1, and I was too naive and trusting to see it.

In hindsight, the best thing I could have done was to have dated him for 2-3 years to see how he lived. But, I was hopeful, and he was a church deacon, and I thought that we were in love.

This life experience sums up why, even though my boyfriend is seriously, the greatest guy on earth, after only 1.5 years of dating him, it will be a good long while before I'd even be willing to contemplate the M word.

I never wanted to get divorced, but on the other hand, I'm not sure it was a positive for my kids to watch their dad constantly disrespect and cheat on their mom. That would tend to give kids a warped view of marriage, i think.

Would it be fair to say that women typically get married to young or before they have the chance to grow up a little, and thus make big decisions before they've developed proper judgment to know what they want out of life, out of a man?

I use women here because again, women initiate the vast majority of divorces. I'm not trying to be misogynistic, I'm trying to address the typical example per-se.
 
This is the most asinine thing in the world some gay and lesbian marriages are okay. Some are not. That is simply bull****. I hope that the state of CA has to spend 100 billion dollars in court defending this bigotry. I hope they go so in debt that they have to fold up shop. The mob has spoken so we have a piece of **** legislation that stands as law. Who ever said that the public should vote on laws anyway?
 
But, having said that, I don't rely on him to take care of my kids. I don't expect him to do so, and thus, I am rarely disappointed. I just plan at all times to take care of them, financially and otherwise.

If the guy would pitch in I would not be bitching. If he would not steal packages off our front door I would not be bitching.
 
Would it be fair to say that women typically get married to young or before they have the chance to grow up a little, and thus make big decisions before they've developed proper judgment to know what they want out of life, out of a man?.

Yes. I think that's entirely fair. I also think that women are raised with outdated and inaccurate perceptions of married life. We tend to overly romanticize what it will be like, particularly when we're young. Further, men and women are socialized with very different skills in conflict resolution, etc., leading to problems in handling conflict during the marriage.

I think men AND women get married too young in the U.S., to be frank.

And, if women initiate the majority of the divorces, it may be in response to male actions, such as infidelity.
 
Wait...what? Transferable? I was married in CA 9 years ago and I've never had to "transfer" my marriage.

Other states are required under federal law to recognize Domestic Partnership, but in no way does that mean anything is ever "transferred"....I don't even know what you mean by that. As a 7-year resident of SD, my marriage license is under the authority of Alameda County, CA.



Gays can get a Domestic Partnership license, go down to the church and have a ceremony and call it "marriage". They can even call each other 'husband' or 'wife'.

There's nothing left to fight for in the courts.

I should have written "acknowledged" or "recognized" instead of transferred.
What federal law states a state must recognize DPs? I've never heard that.
 
I know how that is, just be sure you don't spend more on the lawyer than you'll get out of the child support increase ;)

The divorce itself cost 10 of thousands of dollars.
 
Would it be fair to say that women typically get married to young or before they have the chance to grow up a little, and thus make big decisions before they've developed proper judgment to know what they want out of life, out of a man?

I use women here because again, women initiate the vast majority of divorces. I'm not trying to be misogynistic, I'm trying to address the typical example per-se.

Uh, is this song about you or Catz?
 
If the guy would pitch in I would not be bitching. If he would not steal packages off our front door I would not be bitching.

From the perspective of someone who has definitely dealt with the anger thing: You need to alter your expectations, for your own mental health.

Once you realize that he is who and what he is, and you can't change that, you will be freed to stop trying to control his behavior. You probably had little success controlling his behavior when you were married, and you will have zero success controlling it now.

Just a free mental health tip from someone who's been there.
 
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Uh, is this song about you or Catz?

It's really okay. It's clear from Jerry's posts that he's working out his own issues, but I'm okay with handling criticism on this one. Certainly, divorce was not an easy decision for me, and it should not be as easy to do as it is.
 
From the perspective of someone who has definitely dealt with the anger thing: You need to alter your expectations, for your own mental health.

Once you realize that he's a **** and will always be a ****, you will be freed to stop trying to control his behavior.

Just btdt.

You are right. I'm just mad today at his smugness thinking he is father of the year when he doesn't do diddly squat. I'll drop it now and thanxs for letting me vent.
 
You are right. I'm just mad today at his smugness thinking he is father of the year when he doesn't do diddly squat. I'll drop it now and thanxs for letting me vent.

I totally understand. We can rant elsewhere, if you'd like, rather than disrupting this thread.
 
Yes. I think that's entirely fair. I also think that women are raised with outdated and inaccurate perceptions of married life. We tend to overly romanticize what it will be like, particularly when we're young. Further, men and women are socialized with very different skills in conflict resolution, etc., leading to problems in handling conflict during the marriage.

I think men AND women get married too young in the U.S., to be frank.

And, if women initiate the majority of the divorces, it may be in response to male actions, such as infidelity.

In my case, she wanted out so that she could "establish me", whatever that's supposed to mean.

So I'm left standing there with my 2 boys who need an intact home thinking "wtf, you were supposed to have don that already".

I agree, men and women both get married to young. One difference I think is worth pointing out is that when a man gets married to young, he is far more likely to acclimate to the marriage ad become comfortable with it, while the woman is far more likely to become ever more frustrated.

Maybe this is one reason men are more attracted to slightly older women?
 
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