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Wife of ex-Minneapolis cop Derek Chauvin reportedly filing for divorce

Lursa said:
AFAIK, a wife cannot be forced to testify against her husband.

And if you assume that his record was so evident to her (I'd agree) I sure as heck believe she'd leave him if she truly objected. I dont buy into the "all women are so weak they wont leave losers and abusers," sorry. We are not all victims like that. It's just insulting to make such a blanket assumption...if you would.
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It's not about women being weak. Men don't leave abusive cops either. They'll get you.
 
Lursa said:
It is difficult. And millions of women manage it. Just because it's hard doesnt mean it doesnt have to be done to end the abuse. It's the only way to end it...they dont stop on their own. And they owe it to their kids to do so. Otherwise, the kids often get abused but more than that, they LEARN that that is normal. That's the way adults treat each other. They both may continue the cycle...the boy the abuse, the girl the acceptance. Or vice versa.

Women are not all victims. I hate when women are depicted like that.
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Kellie Chauvin was previously in an abusive relationship and tries to give back now.

Kellie Chauvin was previously married to a near-stranger when she was only 17 years old. She stayed int he marriage for a decade, giving birth to two children. But she said the relationship was abusive and she eventually left. Now, she dedicates her spares time to helping other women who have been abused, as well as women from her Hmong community.

“I dedicate myself to animals and children and women,” Chauvin told reporters. “That’s my passion. It doesn’t feel like work to me.”
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Who Is Kellie Chauvin? Wife Of Derek Chauvin Seeks Divorce After Arrest For George Floyd's Murder | YourTango
 
JMR said:
They are not his kids. Maybe he adopted them, I hadn't heard that.
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I suppose... if he didn't adopt them, do they not count? 50/50 split for husband and wife, no child support/visitations/custody arguments etc? I could see how that could break that way, in that case.
 
Metric Mouse said:
Should it go to his victim's family instead of her?
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I'm trying to split that hair. A court has not awarded it to either at this point. If the divorce is legitimate I think she is entitled to some of it. I don't think she should be made destitute because of his actions. Who knows if they own a home, and whose name it's in? Personally I think the city should be paying the victim's family along with the cop.
 
JMR said:
I'm trying to split that hair. A court has not awarded it to either at this point. If the divorce is legitimate I think she is entitled to some of it. I don't think she should be made destitute because of his actions. Who knows if they own a home, and whose name it's in? Personally I think the city should be paying the victim's family along with the cop.
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How can a divorce be illegitimate?

It's a tough nut to crack for sure, if the wife and her kids should be responsible to pay for the victims of her husband's actions.
 
99percenter said:
Actually since you mentioned that i had to look up drew peterson. A cop in illinois that killed both his wives. He had 79000 a year pension that was terminated. Not sure what the law in minnesota is though.
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The point is that if the pension is only payable to him, he can lose it. If in the divorce settlement half is made payable to her, he can only lose the half that's still his.
 
Metric Mouse said:
How can a divorce be illegitimate?

It's a tough nut to crack for sure, if the wife and her kids should be responsible to pay for the victims of her husband's actions.
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I meant that my confusion over the reason for the divorce makes it difficult to answer your original question.
 
JMR said:
I meant that my confusion over the reason for the divorce makes it difficult to answer your original question.
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Understand. Not sure why the reason for her divorce would change how the assets are divided. Minnesota is equal spilt no matter the reason, it seems.
 
JMR said:
How would that work if the divorce settlement comes first? They would be taking it away from her.

This is purely speculative. I really don't think her motives are financial.
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I think her objective now is to get a court to rule on the divorce so she can at least get half of everything they own together. Once his mess starts going into the discover phase and then to trial, he's going to lose every penny he has including his home.
 
HumblePi said:
I think her objective now is to get a court to rule on the divorce so she can at least get half of everything they own together. Once his mess starts going into the discover phase and then to trial, he's going to lose every penny he has including his home.
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I think a legal team has advised her.
 
Metric Mouse said:
Understand. Not sure why the reason for her divorce would change how the assets are divided. Minnesota is equal spilt no matter the reason, it seems.
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The reason might affect my opinion, which of course would not affect the outcome at all.
 
HumblePi said:
I think her objective now is to get a court to rule on the divorce so she can at least get half of everything they own together. Once his mess starts going into the discover phase and then to trial, he's going to lose every penny he has including his home.
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Do you think that her getting half of the stuff is "stealing" from the estate of her husband's victims?
 
JMR said:
I'm trying to split that hair. A court has not awarded it to either at this point. If the divorce is legitimate I think she is entitled to some of it. I don't think she should be made destitute because of his actions. Who knows if they own a home, and whose name it's in? Personally I think the city should be paying the victim's family along with the cop.
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A court isn't going to hold her responsible for a civil judgement against him. Her property going into the marriage, gifts during the marriage, and her portion of the community property is hers. There would also be protected assets - home, principle transportation, etc. A civil judgement would still get into a division of assets.

If anything, this simplifies things for the inevitable civil lawsuit, by isolating his assets. And he won't be able to shift everything to her either - soon there will be that civil lawsuit, and the plaintiffs will file a motion with the court, and the judge will ensure a fair division of assets.
 
ecofarm said:
It's not about women being weak. Men don't leave abusive cops either. They'll get you.
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Interesting. Sources?

Then we can explore it further.





This is the barely coherent and grammatically inept speech of a man who desperately wants to be able to claim that he "cured coronavirus."

That's it, in a nutshell. When we do get a handle on this crisis, he wants to be able to pull out footage and declare "I called it! I said use this! I said try this! I told them to do this, it was my idea!" He's just doing it with lots of stupid stuff because he doesnt want to miss an opportunity. He's afraid 'the big one' will be mentioned and he wont get credit for it.

It's all about declaring himself the savior of the cv crisis and we'll hear all about it, esp in his campaign. (Which is basically each of his press briefings these days) --- Lursa
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ecofarm said:
Why Do People Stay in Abusive Relationships? - The Hotline
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They all have to leave, period. We know the reasons...that doesnt change the fact that the ONLY solution is to leave.

And most people (generally women) do. The ones that dont...men or women...fail. It's on them...and if they have kids, they fail them too. We all know it's not 'easy.' Many necessary things in life arent easy. And much like addiction...you cant 'make' someone leave until they are ready which sadly, tends to be rock bottom.

Saying it's 'hard' doesnt make it wrong or even excusable.



This is the barely coherent and grammatically inept speech of a man who desperately wants to be able to claim that he "cured coronavirus."

That's it, in a nutshell. When we do get a handle on this crisis, he wants to be able to pull out footage and declare "I called it! I said use this! I said try this! I told them to do this, it was my idea!" He's just doing it with lots of stupid stuff because he doesnt want to miss an opportunity. He's afraid 'the big one' will be mentioned and he wont get credit for it.

It's all about declaring himself the savior of the cv crisis and we'll hear all about it, esp in his campaign. (Which is basically each of his press briefings these days) --- Lursa
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Lursa said:
They all have to leave, period. We know the reasons...that doesnt change the fact that the ONLY solution is to leave.

And most people (generally women) do. The ones that dont...men or women...fail. It's on them...and if they have kids, they fail them too. We all know it's not 'easy.' Many necessary things in life arent easy. And much like addiction...you cant 'make' someone leave until they are ready which sadly, tends to be rock bottom.

Saying it's 'hard' doesnt make it wrong or even excusable.
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My point is this part:

Leaving is often the most dangerous time for a victim of abuse, because abuse is about power and control. When a victim leaves, they are taking control and threatening the abusive partner’s power, which could cause the abusive partner to retaliate in very destructive ways.
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Becomes vastly more dangerous when one's abusive partner is a cop. Their amount power and ability to intimidate and harass is much more. They also have a network of friends with state power and a willingness to do their bidding. Escaping a bad cop is like escaping a gang.
 
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ecofarm said:
My point is this part:

Becomes vastly more dangerous when one's abusive partner is a cop. The amount power and ability to intimidate is much more.
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Yes. Very hard. Very dangerous.

And still the only solution.

Which many women (and men I guess) still do, with support and courage. The blanket victimization here is wrong.

The difficulty and danger dont change the reality. And most abused do choose 'reality.' More power to them. More unfortunate, so many do it so late. Or too late.


This is the barely coherent and grammatically inept speech of a man who desperately wants to be able to claim that he "cured coronavirus."

That's it, in a nutshell. When we do get a handle on this crisis, he wants to be able to pull out footage and declare "I called it! I said use this! I said try this! I told them to do this, it was my idea!" He's just doing it with lots of stupid stuff because he doesnt want to miss an opportunity. He's afraid 'the big one' will be mentioned and he wont get credit for it.

It's all about declaring himself the savior of the cv crisis and we'll hear all about it, esp in his campaign. (Which is basically each of his press briefings these days) --- Lursa
Click to expand...
 
Lursa said:
Yes. Very hard. Very dangerous.

And still the only solution.

Which many women (and men I guess) still do, with support and courage. The blanket victimization here is wrong.

The difficulty and danger dont change the reality. And most abused do choose 'reality.' More power to them. More unfortunate, so many do it so late. Or too late.
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Again, my point is that it's worse when it's a cop. Doesn't matter male or female. It's a power thing.
 
ecofarm said:
Again, my point is that it's worse when it's a cop. Doesn't matter male or female. It's a power thing.
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Nothing new there.

It's also very dangerous even when you do leave. Are you going to make an argument that being involved with cops is dangerous?


Case in point: David Bramer, W. WA cop. Went to exchange kids with divorced wife at a neutral location (mall parking lot). When she drove up with kids in the back seat, he shot her in the head, then himself.

So...should people just not get into relationships with cops?



This is the barely coherent and grammatically inept speech of a man who desperately wants to be able to claim that he "cured coronavirus."

That's it, in a nutshell. When we do get a handle on this crisis, he wants to be able to pull out footage and declare "I called it! I said use this! I said try this! I told them to do this, it was my idea!" He's just doing it with lots of stupid stuff because he doesnt want to miss an opportunity. He's afraid 'the big one' will be mentioned and he wont get credit for it.

It's all about declaring himself the savior of the cv crisis and we'll hear all about it, esp in his campaign. (Which is basically each of his press briefings these days) --- Lursa
Click to expand...
 
Lursa said:
Nothing new there.

It's also very dangerous even when you do leave. Are you going to make an argument that being involved with cops is dangerous?


Case in point: David Bramer, W. WA cop. Went to exchange kids with divorced wife at a neutral location (mall parking lot). When she drove up with kids in the back seat, he shot her in the head, then himself.

So...should people just not get into relationships with cops?
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I expect one has less of a chance of a cop partner being abusive than the general public. It's just that if a cop goes bad, the power they're entrusted with could be used against their partner. Lots of abusive men shoot their partners, that's unfortunately common. What's less common is having a partner that not only can shoot you but can harass and arrest you. And he has friends that can harass you, pull you over, ask questions, embarrass you in public and such.

I suppose it's not much different than rich men. They also have more power than the average guy. They can hire people and abuse someone through the court system and otherwise have access to means of emotional torture not available to the average guy. However, I would never recommend against dating rich guys because of that or against dating cops.
 
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