Well, yea, if someone starts a scam, calls it a school, and bilks students out of millions of dollars, it ought to face the music. Nothing about politics here. Just good old Logic 101. If not logical, then hell, I might as well join 'em, and start a school.
That's right, folks. You can make money hand over fist, training at the DanaRhea Culinary Institute. Price is only ten thousand bucks, and we will give you a boner.... oops, I mean bona fide degree in culinary arts in just one year. Unlock your potential now, and be one of our hugely successful graduates. Who knows who you could eventually be displaying your skills to, while earning top dollar. The Ritz-Carlton? Le Diplomate? Trump Tower? The future belongs to you. Take it. Just sign up at my website......
(Meanwhile, the fine print is too fine to read. No worries, we gotcha covered)
Here are your courses..............
1) Water boiling (this is a prerequisite for the next course)
2) Hard boiled eggs.
3) Microwaving of TV dinners. (Time is of the essence here - 5 minutes at 1000 watts or 8 minutes at 800 watts - The Great Debate)
4) Thawing Sara Lee frozen cakes in the refrigerator. (What course of education is complete without deserts?)
5) TV dinners II (Using an electric oven)
6) Principles of burger flipping (you will work your way from a single burger all the way up to the McDonald's Triple 12's technique. Don't be intimidated. YOU CAN DO IT).
7) Pancakes I. (Making the pancake)
8) Pancakes II. (Toppings)
9) Orange juice from concentrate.
10) Tang and other orange juice substitutes
And there you have it. Finish all of them, and you will be given your degree, with a printed signature replica by Betsy DeVos herself. And, as soon as you obtain your wonderful Degree In Culinary Arts, job placement is available.
McDonald's
Taco Bell
Domino's Pizza
Burger King
James' Coney Island
And much, much more........ Don't just sit there. Take action NOW!! In just a few years of hard work, you might even make assistant manager. What's not to like about that?......... Whoa, hold your horses!! Ten thousand too much to pay for this wonderful curriculum? No worries. Just call 1-800-EATCRAP, and we will process your paperwork for a no down payment student loan. No money down, and low interest rates, at only 50 bucks a month for 50 years. Operators are standing by.