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Toddler dies in hot car as mom teaches inside school

Spot on.



Look, I don't want to sound self righteous, but I'm going to anyway. If you don't want to read a self righteous rant, stop right now.

I have a 6 year old, and a 3 year. I work 60+ hours per week, as does my wife. My 3 year old is in pre school for special ed, hearing difficulties. My 6 year old is in kindergarten. She also does soccer. I have more going on in my life than I ever have before. As evidenced by the frequency and multitude of my posts here. And yet, with all of that, I have never once, not even CLOSE, come to the point of forgetting that my kids are in the car with me. Ever. Not once come close to forgetting they are in the car when I leave the car. Now, I'm not gonna say these parents do this crap on PURPOSE. But maybe...leave the cellphone home every now and then. Unplug. Remove the distractions.


BE A GOD DAMN PARENT.

You simply can't remove all distractions. This started happening in the 90s, before cell phones existed. It has little to do with cell phones, and so much to do with how people think. You simply can't change everyone, but you can provide more things to try to prevent it, alerts or something. Hell, a cell phone app on this might actually help. Figure out an app that sends an alert to you as soon as you reach your destination. Everyone might not use it but combined with other things, such as a car sensor, it could help. Saying "well be a good parent" simply isn't going to work. Not everyone is the same, people don't have minds that work the same way.
 
We should pass a law to make it illegal to leave your children inside your car. A "Child alone in car" Ban. That will surely fix this.

Please tell me this is sarcasm.
 
I think a better idea might be to start having cars equipped with sensors of some sort that tell you when a child is strapped into the car/car seat before you get out. Some sort of alarm, like the alert telling you your seat belt isn't buckled or the door isn't closed or your lights are still on.

And you are right, they didn't get left in the car nearly as often when so many laws about where children safety seats should be placed or in what direction they had to be in existed, but that doesn't mean those laws aren't worth it too.

And there's already a car seat monitor that alerts smart phones, so the technology already exists: Cars-N-Kids | Integrated iAlert Seat Monitor The KidsAndCars.org wants all vehicles equipped with an alarm that alerts drivers that a child has been left in the car.

Here are some of that org's stats:

Statistics
 2011 Child vehicular heat stroke deaths: 33
 2010 Child vehicular heat stroke deaths: 49 (highest number of fatalities in one year‐‐ever)
 2009 Child vehicular heat stroke deaths: 33
 1991‐2011 Child vehicular heat stroke deaths: at least 613
 Average number of child vehicular heat stroke deaths per year since 1998: 38 (one every 9 days)

Circumstances
• Unknowingly left in vehicle: 54.25% • Knowingly left in vehicle: 11.94%
• Got into vehicle on their own: 31.58% • Circumstance Unknown: 1.82%

Contributing Factors
A child’s body temperature rises 3‐5 times faster than an adult’s. Even with the windows partially down, the
temperature inside a parked car can reach 125 degrees in just minutes. Leaving the windows opened slightly does not
significantly slow the heating process or decrease the maximum temperature attained.

There are several factors that contribute to children being inadvertently forgotten by care givers. Paramount is the
fact that our brains are not keeping up with the demands of our busy lives. The most common factors include a change in one’s normal routine, lack of sleep, stress, fatigue, distractions and hormone changes. When these factors combine, the ability for the brain to multi‐task is diminished.

As parents know, life with newborns and small children is full of stress, sleep deprivation and distractions. And young children, especially babies, often fall asleep in their car seats; becoming quiet, unobtrusive little passengers. And sadly, for babies with rear‐facing seats, the seat looks the same from the front seat – whether occupied or not.

Vehicular heat stroke is largely misunderstood by the general public. The majority of parents would like to believe that they could never “forget” their child in a vehicle. The most dangerous mistake a parent or caregiver can make is to think it cannot happen to them or their family.

In well over 50% of these cases, the person responsible for the child’s death unknowingly left them in the vehicle. It happens to the most loving, protective parents. It has happened to a teacher, pediatrician, dentist, postal clerk, social worker, police officer, nurse, clergyman, electrician, accountant, soldier, assistant principal, and even a rocket scientist. It can happen to anyone. http://www.kidsandcars.org/userfiles/dangers/heat-stroke/heat-stroke-fact-sheet.pdf
 
You simply can't remove all distractions. This started happening in the 90s, before cell phones existed. It has little to do with cell phones, and so much to do with how people think. You simply can't change everyone, but you can provide more things to try to prevent it, alerts or something. Hell, a cell phone app on this might actually help. Figure out an app that sends an alert to you as soon as you reach your destination. Everyone might not use it but combined with other things, such as a car sensor, it could help. Saying "well be a good parent" simply isn't going to work. Not everyone is the same, people don't have minds that work the same way.

Different minds is the only thing that kept my rant from being guilt free, to be honest. I get that. Not all minds are like mine. As evidenced by my wife, who regularly infuriates me, lol. Never the less, I HAVE to say, the frequency of this is starting to disturb me, when I consider that it's never once been a problem for me. Projection, yes, I know. But. There have been times when I have arrived at work and not really recalled the drive there. Like, whoa, I'm at work all of a sudden...how did that happen? And yet, never, has my mind lapsed where my kid's are concerned.


So, I'm sorry, but I simply can't bring myself to see this story, and the many others like it, from the perspective of the offending parents. I think this boils down to...go back to basics. Remove distractions.



I literally tell work that I will be taking a week off from the cell phone. That I will only be reached via home phone, and that all other call should be directed to so and so. Maybe it's time others think about doing the same.
 
This should be a murder charge, or at the very least, manslaughter.
There is no excuse for 'forgetting' a child - or a pet - in a car. None, zilch, zip, nada.



I'm sure that the prosecutor could get a conviction for negligent homicide.

In any case this person should never be responsible for taking care of children again, ever.

I wouldn't hire her to walk my dog.
 
I'm sure that the prosecutor could get a conviction for negligent homicide.

In any case this person should never be responsible for taking care of children again, ever.

I wouldn't hire her to walk my dog.

Actually, it is not all that likely that the prosecutor could get a conviction even if he/she decided to pursue it (about half don't press charges in these cases without other circumstances, drugs, alcohol, gambling, or evidence that it might have been on purpose).

State: Leaving child in a hot car not always a crime

It is very rare for a parent/caregiver who did not purposely leave the child in the car to be charged, convicted, and severely punished for doing so (from what I can find, it appears that without some other mitigating factors, probation seems to be the worst punishment if a person is convicted for forgetting their child in the car, which is different than purposely leaving your child in the car).
 
Actually, it is not all that likely that the prosecutor could get a conviction even if he/she decided to pursue it (about half don't press charges in these cases without other circumstances, drugs, alcohol, gambling, or evidence that it might have been on purpose).

State: Leaving child in a hot car not always a crime

It is very rare for a parent/caregiver who did not purposely leave the child in the car to be charged, convicted, and severely punished for doing so (from what I can find, it appears that without some other mitigating factors, probation seems to be the worst punishment if a person is convicted for forgetting their child in the car,
which is different than purposely leaving your child in the car)
.



It's not any different for the child which is dead in its grave, is it?

Whether it's deliberate murder or negligent homicide the child is just as dead.
 
I'm sure that the prosecutor could get a conviction for negligent homicide.

In any case this person should never be responsible for taking care of children again, ever.

I wouldn't hire her to walk my dog.
Agree 100%. Forgetting about a child and letting her die is about the most irresponsible thing a parent could do. To just shrug it off as an honest mistake is insanity.
 
It's not any different for the child which is dead in its grave, is it?

Whether it's deliberate murder or negligent homicide the child is just as dead.

And we should really look at why we are placing blame. Is it because we seek justice or because we feel the need to blame someone? I personally feel that too often we simply wish to place blame rather than really be seeking justice. I believe that intention is very important here. Is it negligent homicide when a child dies of SIDS, even if it possibly could have been avoided, or at least some think it could have been?

Actually, the difference between negligent homicide and murder in these sort of cases would be purposely leaving your child in the car (negligent homicide) with every intention of coming back to get them but not getting back out in time and purposely leaving the child outside knowing that the child would die that way (murder), which is why the guy in Georgia is being charged with murder, not negligent homicide, because they don't believe that he simply forgot his son or left him out in the car on purpose thinking he would be fine til he got back out there.
 
It's not any different for the child which is dead in its grave, is it?

Whether it's deliberate murder or negligent homicide the child is just as dead.

That's true; he or she is just as dead.

And the child's parents will suffer for the rest of their lives. How do you live every day of the rest of your life with the knowledge that you were responsible for the death of your child?

Earlier in the thread, I posted a link to a very thoughtful Washington Post article that details a few cases and will provide it again despite my cynical expectation that it won't be read: Fatal Distraction: Forgetting a Child in the Backseat of a Car Is a Horrifying Mistake. Is It a Crime? - The Washington Post

Most people, thank heavens, have no first-hand knowledge of living with the death of a child. This is such a "but for the grace of God" blessing. Whether that child died of natural causes or by his own hand or by misadventure, people are so eager to pass judgment. I'm glad that juries aren't so eager to punish.
 
Well there are too many infants dying in the back seat, and I never read about any dying from an accident in the front seat in a proper infant seat the entire time I had children who rode in the front seat in child/infant seats which spanned about 8 years between my two children. And I NEVER heard about a child being left in the car to die in the heat, not one. Since the move of seats to the back, there are 4 or 5 a year of the latter.

Well you would have to get the car manufacturers to change the design of passenger side air bags or remove them completely.

Do you think that is possible?
 
This is why the new-ish (newer than when mine were infants), that infants and their infant seats have to be in the back seat is such a bad idea. It's much easier to not see and hence forget a quiet sleeping infant in the back seat, and usually an infant will fall asleep in a moving vehicle.

Yeah no kidding. Plus under two you have to keep them rear-facing, so you often don't see them in the rear view mirror. I don't live in a warm climate but as the parent of a toddler stories like this make me feel sick. I know it would be so easy to forget your child is in the car. It's not neglectful absentmindedness, it's really easy to do. Parents of young kids who are juggling jobs and daycare have to coordinate and change up their plans constantly, and when you make the same drive every day, you go into autopilot. It would be extremely easy to forget.

You should be able to just disable the passenger side airbag and put the car seat up there. Regulators often dwell on the wrong kind of risk.

Well you would have to get the car manufacturers to change the design of passenger side air bags or remove them completely.

Do you think that is possible?

We're almost to the point that we have cars that can drive themselves. The technology to disable a passenger airbag doesn't seem too space age to me.
 
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"I'm sorry your honor. It's just that I was so busy and I forgot him in there! With all this work I'm doing, I'm so scatterbrained!"

Judge's most probable response (in his mind), "What a load of ****ing horse-****. You're ass is getting thrown in jail."

Most people's response, ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

That you try and rationalize for something like this is almost ****ing inferior.

People do forget, hard to rationalize, of course it is due to a preventable death.
Cases like this are far too common.
And as Helix noted, they parent will live with this till they die.
Today’s parent has more on the go than my parents did.
Ever hear of a family on a trip, thinking all the kids were in the car only to find out 60 miles later 1 was not?

The parents will most likely end up divorcing over this.
My heart goes out to them.

Perhaps you should consider the parents who knowingly leave their children in a car then out they go for a few minutes, only to return to find the car stolen, or the child missing.
 
I feel for her pain.

But I don't see this as luck.

My kids never got left in cars, because I don't do that. It's that simple.

This isn't the luck of someone running a red-light, or a plane crashing into your house.

This is forgetting your child in a car, and it's statistically rare for good reason - because parents rarely do it!

I honestly cannot guess what was on her mind that she could forget her kid all day?

But regardless, I don't see how anyone cannot see her as negligent towards her child.

One case was where they Parent had certain days to drop off for day care. This routine ran for a number of years. Well a change had to be made, circumstances made it so for 1 day.
It was not the father’s normal day to drop off at day care.
He went to work, as per his routine and forgot the child was in the car.
Yes, the child died.
 
One case was where they Parent had certain days to drop off for day care. This routine ran for a number of years. Well a change had to be made, circumstances made it so for 1 day.
It was not the father’s normal day to drop off at day care.
He went to work, as per his routine and forgot the child was in the car.
Yes, the child died.
I suspect that is most commonly how these thing happen.

I've also seen an occasional local cases involving drugs and/or alcohol - but I live on the edge of a large city that has it's share of social problems, and I'm not claiming nor blaming this latter scenario as predominate.
 
I suspect that is most commonly how these thing happen.

I've also seen an occasional local cases involving drugs and/or alcohol - but I live on the edge of a large city that has it's share of social problems, and I'm not claiming nor blaming this latter scenario as predominate.

Did you read the link that was posted by another Member?
You should.
Here it is in case you wish to.

Fatal Distraction: Forgetting a Child in the Backseat of a Car Is a Horrifying Mistake. Is It a Crime? - The Washington Post
 
Do I think it is a crime that this father forgot about his toddler strapped in a car seat in the back of his car? Yes.

Did he purposely plan to leave his child in the backseat of a sweltering car for nine hours till he met his death? No. But neither was the one who struck another vehicle in an accident that took another's life. Negligence, wrongdoing that results in the harm of another is criminal.

It sound like the father that forgot he had a toddler in the backseat of his vehicle did not have his priorities in order. His main concern from the time he strapped the kid into the car seat would be to realize he had precious cargo on board and his first point of concern should be getting the child transported to a safe location before anything else take precedent for the day.

How in the Hell do you forget you have a child strapped in a car seat? How???????
 
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Do I think it is a crime that this father forgot about his toddler strapped in a car seat in the back of his car? Yes.

Did he purposely plan to leave his child in the backseat of a sweltering car for nine hours till he met his death? No. But neither was the one who struck another vehicle in an accident that took another's life. Negligence, wrongdoing that results in the harm of another is criminal.

It sound like the father that forgot he had a toddler in the backseat of his vehicle did not have his priorities in order. His main concern from the time he strapped the kid into the car seat would be to realize he had precious cargo on board and his first point of concern should be getting the child transported to a safe location before anything else take precedent for the day.

How in the Hell do you forget you have a child strapped in a car seat? How???????

You make the same drive to work every day, over and over and over, and normally you are not the one that drops off your child at daycare. Something different comes up in the family schedule and you take you child in to daycare instead of mom. Your child falls asleep within five minutes of leaving the house. During the drive you start thinking about what you have to accomplish at work that day. You drive to work and forget your silent, sleeping, rear-facing child is in the back seat. You get out of the car and enter your workplace.

That's how.
 
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you know, i really doubt that anyone does this even slightly on purpose. we're all so ****ing busy that we get scatterbrained and **** up. it just makes me sick, because i know that there probably won't be a day between now and death that the parent won't think about this and agonize over it. you want to know what hell is like? get exhausted, overworked, and scatterbrained, and **** up like that. it's just a ****ing awful tragedy when this happens, and i hate reading about it.

Perhaps fewer should have kids, or at least watch fewer commercials so their attention span doesn't become so problematic
 
I don't think it's up to any of us to judge, Scrabs. Sure, the parents were absent minded and there is little excuse for it, but the older I get the more I feel like the memory is punishment enough.

Secondly, we live in a country where people get away with sentencing their children to death with nonsense like 'alternative medicine' and 'prayer healing'. Those people don't get consistently sent to prison for their misguided actions, why should somebody who made a mistake?

At least let's have some national consistency on the issue. If a parent's actions led to the death of the child, it should be punished with the same standard. Not the mismatched collage of laws and cases that we have on the matter.

Actually "christian science" is no longer accepted as a defense, that i'm aware of, and someone who causes a miscarriage (for instance, hitting a pregnant woman, if you don't know she's pregnant) will be charged with murder. I find *that* inconsistent, since abortion is legal. But to then not charge a parent who thru negligence kills their living child would be even more inconsistent

I mean i get what you're saying. I don't think it's a deterrent when it's accidental, and if we really cared about infant safety, we wouldn't allow them in cars to begin with.
 
You make the same drive to work every day, over and over and over, and normally you are not the one that drops off your child at daycare. Something different comes up in the family schedule and you take you child in to daycare instead of mom. Your child falls asleep within five minutes of leaving the house. During the drive you start thinking about what you have to accomplish at work that day. You drive to work and forget your silent, sleeping, rear-facing child is in the back seat. You get out of the car and enter your workplace.

That's how.

That sounds all well and good EXCEPT the dad was the one who strapped the child into the car seat before pulling out of the driveway. That doesn't jive. No matter what transpired on the way to work, the father was well aware he strapped that child into his car seat before even starting his car.
 
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