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Regardless of any other issues, if someone is supporting a party that suppresses or oppresses individuals rights and promotes inequality cannot claim to be supporting "equality". If there were indeed, true equality, then this issue would not even be an issue. Taxation and benefits should be the same whether married or single, normal or homosexual, regardless of race, creed, religion, etc,etc.
That is the problem with a basically two party system. You cannot choose just the issues you want, you have to view the overall party platform and either support it or vote against it in the whole.
Well, if we had true 'equality' then Romney and the woman cleaning his pool would pay the same amount of tax - not at the same RATE, but the same dollar amount. That's not how it works. You've done no more than decide on some arbitrary policy choices you desire and declared that they represent 'equality.'
Besides, in the real world, marriage comes with a slew of benefits and obligations. Whether we think marriage SHOULD is a moot point. The question is whether SS couples should have access to these benefits, and obligations, or whether to reserve them for straight couples. The courts have repeatedly ruled straight couples DO have a RIGHT to marry. All the current cases do is find there is no compelling reason to deny these 'rights' to SS couples and therefore overturned bans on SSM.