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In what specific ways that do not involve the state?
Sorry?
Yes, you do. Marriage is entirely a civil institution, the rights and responsibilities of which have been codified into law. Agents licensed by the state must approve an application for marriage, and must administer the corny oaths and other trappings that confirm its completion. Once married, modification or dissolution of the union requires the approval of more agents of the state. Everything to do with marriage is intertwined with the state. Without the state, you do not have a marriage at all, but some pale cohabitation/"going steady" imitation of it.
No marriage is first and foremost a commitment between people where the promises are made on the day of the commitment. The contracts warps the personal aspects of marriage into a legal enforcement of rules the state finds important. Marriage in a way has always been going steady but with higher purpose and meaning and there is no reason to suspect that is bad thing.