Well, I am finally at peace. Wonderful thing!
Being a control freak, my philosophy has always been “Hope for the best. Plan for the worst.” Never a Pollyanna. Forever the realist. It has always worked for me and continues to work it’s magic on this new dawn of day.
My scan, as I fully expected, showed that my nodule had increased in size. That meant I had a decision to make. No more immunotherapy... it obviously stopped working. So either nothing or back to debilitating chemotherapy to hopefully stave off the inevitable for a while.
I had one question for the doc, a question I’d composed weeks ago. “Will going back to taking the chemo make my journey any easier?” His answer was, “No. it will make it worse.” Easy peasy decision. Hospice it is.
My doc has already made the referral at my request. I meet with them TODAY, wow! Speedy! This meeting is to learn about how it works, their goals, etc. I’ll be signing the admission forms next week, or as soon as I can.
This isn’t a sad post! I am almost relieved. And I feel blessed knowing that I will have a team of medical professionals whose only job is to keep me comfortable and lengthen my quality of life. I can’t ask for more than that. And that’s asking a lot. Happy clam am I.
My “business” is finished. I’ve had damned near two years of great life quality. And, honestly? My quality of life is STILL excellent. I’m a big weaker, but, other than that? I’m still going strong. Out for breakfast with a friend tomorrow, to a charity affair Saturday night... hair cut later today, I hope. Still driving. No pain meds needed. Completely comfortable.
Grateful I found out about Tom. Very blessed he is out of my life. Surrounded by a posse of friends who bring me more comfort and joy than Tom ever did or could have.
Im going to continue blogging my journey. Being the curious little ****er I’ve always been, this final journey is intriguing. And I think it is unfortunate we don’t know more about what’s what at this stage in our lives. How we need to take control... ask for what we want... refuse to take no as an answer. Perhaps some whose lives I’ve touched, virtually and in person, will learn some kernel of helpful info that will help them or a loved one in the future.
There will come a time when I’m off the computer. On Sue’s to-do list is a final post on DP to let you all know when I’ve shed my earthly bonds. That’s been on my list for months and months. I couldn’t bare not saying goodbye to all of you.
Be happy for me from now on. Knowledge is power. Before this is over? I’ll be very powerful indeed.
Being a control freak, my philosophy has always been “Hope for the best. Plan for the worst.” Never a Pollyanna. Forever the realist. It has always worked for me and continues to work it’s magic on this new dawn of day.
My scan, as I fully expected, showed that my nodule had increased in size. That meant I had a decision to make. No more immunotherapy... it obviously stopped working. So either nothing or back to debilitating chemotherapy to hopefully stave off the inevitable for a while.
I had one question for the doc, a question I’d composed weeks ago. “Will going back to taking the chemo make my journey any easier?” His answer was, “No. it will make it worse.” Easy peasy decision. Hospice it is.
My doc has already made the referral at my request. I meet with them TODAY, wow! Speedy! This meeting is to learn about how it works, their goals, etc. I’ll be signing the admission forms next week, or as soon as I can.
This isn’t a sad post! I am almost relieved. And I feel blessed knowing that I will have a team of medical professionals whose only job is to keep me comfortable and lengthen my quality of life. I can’t ask for more than that. And that’s asking a lot. Happy clam am I.
My “business” is finished. I’ve had damned near two years of great life quality. And, honestly? My quality of life is STILL excellent. I’m a big weaker, but, other than that? I’m still going strong. Out for breakfast with a friend tomorrow, to a charity affair Saturday night... hair cut later today, I hope. Still driving. No pain meds needed. Completely comfortable.
Grateful I found out about Tom. Very blessed he is out of my life. Surrounded by a posse of friends who bring me more comfort and joy than Tom ever did or could have.
Im going to continue blogging my journey. Being the curious little ****er I’ve always been, this final journey is intriguing. And I think it is unfortunate we don’t know more about what’s what at this stage in our lives. How we need to take control... ask for what we want... refuse to take no as an answer. Perhaps some whose lives I’ve touched, virtually and in person, will learn some kernel of helpful info that will help them or a loved one in the future.
There will come a time when I’m off the computer. On Sue’s to-do list is a final post on DP to let you all know when I’ve shed my earthly bonds. That’s been on my list for months and months. I couldn’t bare not saying goodbye to all of you.
Be happy for me from now on. Knowledge is power. Before this is over? I’ll be very powerful indeed.